It's Too Late And It's Too Bad
by Madness of Angels
Summary: The most precious gift in the world is a second chance. Given the choice to fix what went wrong in his life Anders plans on getting things right. But time has a way of claiming what was lost. Anders/M!Hawke
1. If Wishes Were Horses

**Summary-**Given a chance to go back and change his life Anders vows to make things right for Hawke. But a happy ending needs to be earned and Anders will face off against his own demons and the arrival of Justice's new host. Can the mage get it right this time or will history win out in the end?

**Pairings**-Anders/M!Hawke, Fenris/M!Hawke, Carver/Merrill and a few suprises

**It's Too Late And It's Too Bad**

**Chapter One**

**If Wishes Were Horses**

_**A mage and a hypocrite. What company you keep. – Fenris **_

It was over.

The mages and templars continued to battle across the city as flames tore across the buildings and the screams of the civilians echoed into the darkness. The world was in chaos now, it would spread from here and the Circles across Thedas would hear of the uprising at Kirkwall. Even from their safe vantage point Hawke and his allies could still hear the battle raging across the city they had called home. The night sky was painted in red and orange colours and the smoke blocked out the moonlight.

Anders could say nothing as he watched the city burn. Instead he thought about Orsino and Meredith and what they tried to do for their own freedoms against the things they hated and feared the most.

Orsino, so desperate for a way out resorted to the vilest of blood magic and Meredith's insanity led to her own terrible death. The Circle and the templars were without leaders now. Anders raised his head to look upon the people he had come to care about. Isabela and Merrill were huddled around the campfire trying to stay warm despite the chill. Varric was cradling Bianca in his hands but the disbelief in his face was palpable.

Aveline was sharpening her sword but Anders could see the sadness and loss in her eyes. She had been forced to leave Donnic behind in the city. Fenris was sitting next to Hawke, his green eyes hardened and his face betraying what he thought about what had happened. His loyalty to Hawke had brought him to this place after all. Fenris caught Anders' gaze and the look of utter loathing made the apostate sick to his stomach.

He and Fenris had never once gotten along not even when Hawke begged them to talk civilly for his sake. Fenris had only chosen to view Hawke as the most honourable mage he had ever met but it had always been more than that. Hawke had been the first person to ever treat Fenris with kindness.

The former slave had been so resilient against the mage for a long time but Hawke was nothing if not persistent and eventually Fenris called him friend. His hatred for Anders remained and only increased when Hawke had fallen in love with his fellow mage. Anders had never once been blind to the looks of longing and regret he saw in Fenris' eyes when Hawke wasn't looking.

Anders dared to take in the sight of the man who loved him. Hawke's Champion armour was caked in blood from both Orsino and Meredith and he was leaning heavily on his staff. He looked so drained of energy, which wasn't surprising. He had all but depleted his mana to stop Meredith.

His once vibrant aquamarine eyes were dull and glassy and no one uttered a word to him. What could anyone say to him to make this moment fine? Hawke had been forced to flee another home. His estate had been left behind along with Sandal and Bodahn. Anders had no idea if they escaped the city but he hoped they did. Sebastian was long gone to gather and army against the mage responsible for all of this. And Hawke had still defended him, had refused to kill him despite everything he had done.

Anders swallowed thickly at the memory of Hawke's face when he accused Anders of lying to him from day one. The look of utter betrayal on his face was worse than anything the templars had ever done to him over the years. He had believed that Anders had never once loved him, that it had all been a ruse just to get Hawke to help him. That part was never a lie, it had never once been untrue but Anders didn't know if that would help anymore. Hawke was a mage and Anders had thought that if anyone understood then he would. Hawke called him a murderer, a fanatic who took the lives of innocent people just to start his war. Now that they were out of Kirkwall and the Knight-Commander was dead Anders wanted to talk to his love, he wanted him to understand why he did what he did.

"Anders…" the blond mage felt his heart jump when Hawke's voice spoke softly. "I need to talk to you."

"Yes…" Anders whispered. His voice had failed him but he followed after his love away from the campfire.

Garrett Hawke had always been the strong one. He had survived losing Lothering and his sister Bethany. He had remained strong after losing his brother in the Deep Roads and sending him to the Grey Wardens. He had kept his head up when his mother suffered that horrific fate. Hawke had always faced everything head on and never once looked back. But now he looked so…broken. There was no spark anymore, no fire or smiles. He refused to look Anders in the eye but his grip on his staff tightened to the point his knuckles turned white and his palms bled. Looking into his face Anders realised the Garrett Hawke he had met in Darktown all those years ago was no longer there.

"I want to hate you." Hawke whispered harshly. He finally turned his face up and Anders let out a strangled cry when he saw fresh tears on Hawke's face. "I should have killed you when Sebastian asked me."

"I know…" Anders whispered. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

"No you don't." Hawke shook his head fiercely. "You don't understand a bloody thing!"

"Garrett," Anders gasped when the other mage glared at him with so much contempt and rage.

"Don't you dare call me that." He whispered in barely contained rage. "You lost that right the second you killed all those people."

"There was no other way!" Anders wanted to reach out and touch him. He wanted to feel those arms wrapped around him again. "I had to do something to change the world we live in."

"So planting an explosive in a Chantry was the right thing to do?" Hawke pushed away from the tree. "How long were you planning this? No more lies or games Anders. Tell me the truth now."

"The year after we met." Anders admitted finally.

"So everything you ever did…everything you said was all for this to happen." Hawke furiously wiped his eyes. "You used me. Was everything a lie with you? Did you even mean it when you said you loved me?"

"No!" this time Anders reached out and grabbed Hawke's wrists. "I never once lied about what I feel for you! You were the only good thing in my life and I wanted to keep that so badly."

"You're a blighted hypocrite Anders!" Hawke tore his hands free. "You accuse Merrill of being a monster because of the Blood Magic. You never once tried to understand the pain Fenris went through and why he hates mages so much. And then you accuse me of not caring about you when I want to know the truth."

"I needed them to understand." Anders wanted to make the situation better. He wanted Hawke to tell him he had been right. If Garrett would just hold him and say he understood then everything would be fine. "Mages need to be free Hawke. They can't be oppressed anymore by the bastard templars! Merrill is a mage and so was your sister. I was doing this for them too."

"What made you think they would condone this?" Hawke sneered. "I can't look at you without feeling sick. The sight of you makes me sick!"

"Garrett…" Anders didn't bother hiding his own tears now. Maker he had been prepared for it, he had gone over this a thousand times in his head but to actually hear Hawke use those words…he wanted to curl up in the darkness.

"I couldn't kill you because you were the one person I loved more than anything. You promised to stay with me until the day we die." Hawke swallowed around the agonising lump in his throat.

"Maker I'm sorry." Anders sobbed out. Hawke made no move to comfort him as the mage fell to his knees. "I'm so sorry Garrett. There's nothing I can say to change what I've done here."

"I know." Hawke breathed out. "But I can't forgive what you've done Anders. I want to but I can't anymore."

"So now what?" Anders asked when the silence began to weigh on him heavily. He stood up on shaky legs while Hawke remained passive before him.

"We head into the wilds to get some space between us and Kirkwall." Hawke answered automatically. "But this is over Anders. Once we get clear I want you to leave."

"Leave?" his eyes turned wet with fresh tears. "You're leaving me?"

"I'll always love you Anders. You're the only man I've ever been in love with. You were the only one I wanted to spend my life with." Hawke smiled sadly and for a small moment Anders could see Garrett again, the man he loved completely. "But I don't think I ever knew the real you. I wish...I wish I could have known you before Justice."

"I wished for that too, more than you can possibly know." the blond mage admitted harshly.

"But I can't look at you without seeing the Chantry being destroyed. I can look at you without seeing those people." Hawke started walking back to the camp. He stopped then reached into his side pack with a shaky hand. "I wanted to give this to you."

"A ring?" Anders took the golden ring from Hawke's bloodied hand.

"It was my father's. Before he died he told me to give this ring to the one I was going to spend my life with." Hawke couldn't bring himself to look at Anders when he heard the mage give a strangled cry. "I still want you to have it. It was yours the moment you kissed me."

Anders felt his heart jump and warmth flutter into his belly when warm lips pressed against his in a gentle sweet kiss. Hawke drew back and gave him one final sad smile. "Goodbye Anders."

Hawke turned and walked away, his heart all but broken and tears staining his face. Anders could only stare at the ring in his hand. It was small and nothing special but it felt so heavy in his grasp. Hawke had wanted to give him his father's ring...he had wanted to...

His legs buckled and Anders sank to the damp grass as the full weight of what he had lost him hit. He had been so happy with Garrett during those three years. He had never been in a truly committed relationship before and he was so scared Garrett would realise how much of a mistake he had made and leave him. But looking at the ring and hearing Garrett walk away from him completely made Anders realise how much he had lost to achieve his goals.

He had thought that with Justice he would come to terms with whatever Hawke wanted but it was all for the greater good. He had been so sure that everything would be fine once Kirkwall's mages had risen up and fought back. There was a part of him that hoped Hawke would end his wretched life and grant him and Justice the peace they both needed.

_Some things are more important than my life, than either of us._

It would have been so much better if Hawke had killed him.

_You're wrong! Nothing is more important than love._

He could feel cold rain against his hair and skin. The cries from Kirkwall were beginning fade a little into the distance.

_I've never felt this way about anyone._

Anders wondered if this was his punishment. He wondered what his Warden Commander would have said. Theron Mahariel had always been a forgiving soul.

_This is the rule I will most cherish breaking._

Would Theron have forgiven him? Would Nathaniel have understood? Would he ever feel a fraction of what he felt with Hawke ever again?

_I want you right here. Until the day we die._

Clutching onto the ring as if it were his last anchor to sanity Anders realised for one shattering moment that maybe he had made a terrible mistake.

_I love you._

"Garrett..." Anders could only say the name before his grief crippled him and he wept bitterly.


	2. And The Sky Wept

**Chapter Two**

**And The Sky Wept**

_**There is nothing more important than love. - Garrett Hawke**_

Anders awoke in a familiar bedroom.

A fire glowed nearby and the sound of gentle snoring could be heard next to him. Anders looked down to the warm body curled up against his side and utter happiness blossomed in his chest. Garrett was fast asleep, his ash blond hair mussed up and recent love bites marred his beautiful tan skin. This was the happiness Anders always wanted even before Justice and the Grey Wardens. The mage reached over to stroke Garrett's handsome face when his hand stilled.

He frowned when he remembered what had happened the night before. The war between mages and templars had broken out in Kirkwall but they had escaped. Garrett had given him a ring before he left. Anders suddenly realised there was something different about the man next to him. His hair was peppered with grey and there were distinct crow's feet near his eyes.

Garrett looked older.

Panic flared up and Anders stumbled out of the bed and towards the nearest mirror. He stared in horror at his reflection. His own hair was beginning to grey and his skin was wrinkled. He looked older. There was something very wrong with this place. Since becoming joined with Justice he had had little trouble with the Fade and the spirits wandering there. Justice was always in control whenever he slept making sure he was safe during his dreams.

Anders looked around the room but it was indeed the bedroom at Hawke's Manor back in Hightown. He backed away towards the door and pulled it open only to run out onto the second floor. Anders stopped when he realised nothing had changed. Everything still looked the same.

The large fireplace was there. He could see Sandal's workshop littered with enchantment stones and other pieces of equipment. Cerberus was sound asleep curled up in front of the fire. Anders could see the Hawke Crest above the fireplace now. It was so peaceful here and so warm. He gritted his teeth as he thought about the demon responsible for this illusion.

To wake up now would surely kill what little sanity he had left. He had dreamt of this over the years, of spending what was left of his life with Garrett. The Taint would have killed him in two decades anyway but Theron had always told him to live the life he wanted and without regrets. At that moment he truly missed his old Commander.

"What's going on?" he cried out.

"This is what you want isn't it?" a voice questioned him. Anders twisted around but what he saw wasn't a Desire Demon like he suspected.

"Who are you?" he whispered as the blue spirit floated before him. It was a slender woman wearing a simple mage robe.

"I am the Spirit of Faith. I heard your call." she responded sagely.

"This can't be real. Justice wouldn't let this happen." Anders backed away from her.

"You believe this to be the Fade?" Faith glided towards him. "This place is much more than that."

"Stay back demon!" Anders felt his back collide with the marble landing.

"This is of your own making Anders." Faith replied as she continued towards him. "You have made so many choices in your life. This was the outcome of a choice you could have made."

"Stop speaking in riddles." the mage snarled.

"Everyone makes choices. For every decision never made another road opens. What if you had taken another path? What if you never met the Warden Commander that night? What if you never became Justice's host?" Faith glided past the stunned man.

"I-I don't believe this. It's a trick!" Anders shook his head and clamped his eyes shut.

"For one brief moment there was true regret in your heart." Faith bent down and gently rubbed Cerberus' ears. The dog panted happily in his sleep. "You wanted to go back and change what you did."

"Where is Justice?" Anders asked when his anger didn't change him. In fact he couldn't feel anything about Justice now. There was only a feeling of emptiness.

"Justice does not belong at this crossroad. This is your own existence." Faith replied. "You could say that you are frozen in this moment but Justice is still with you."

"What do you want with me?" Anders walked slowly down the stairs.

"Your anger has tainted Justice beyond all recognition. The line between justice and murder has faded." Faith's eyes hardened as she approached him. "Even if he leaves you Justice will be forever tainted."

"I can't change what happened." Anders stared into the fire. "I can't even remember what it feels like to not have Justice with me."

"And hence you have come to the crossroad." Faith moved past him towards the door leading into the study room. "How much do you love him?"

"What?" Anders muttered.

"Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall." Faith turned her ancient eyes to him. "How dear is he to your heart?"

"He's the love of my life." Anders whispered as the memory of Hawke leaving him came to his mind. He could still feel the ring pressed against his skin. Anders felt his eyes widen when he felt something between his fingers.

"You can still have all this." Faith said as Anders stared at the golden ring on his finger, the one Garrett gave him. "You are unlike any mage in your land. You have truly bonded with a Fade Spirit and this can grant you one opportunity."

"Like what?" Anders dropped his hand. "I destroyed the Chantry and the war has started. Hawke doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. But what I did had to be done."

"But don't you want to see the other road you could have taken?" Faith asked him gently. "What you have done can never be undone. But I can grant you the chance to live a life with a different choice."

"I don't understand." Anders refused to believe what this entity was offering him. He couldn't afford to hope, not even for a second.

"Weeks before the Blight spilled from the Wilds you escaped from the Chantry." Faith placed her hand on the door handle. "You went east towards the forest. But what if you went south towards Lothering?"

"Lothering?"

Anders could remember the moment she was describing. He had escaped the Circle once again and planned on losing the templars in the forest to the east. For a moment he had thought about going south towards Lothering and into the Wilds but he changed his mind at the last second.

His eyes widened when he realised what Faith was talking about. Hawke had been in Lothering at that time. The village had been destroyed not long after Theron and Alistair had passed through there. If he had gone south that day he might have met Hawke and his family.

"Now you understand." Faith smiled at him.

"I can change my past?" Anders refused to let that flicker of hope gather. This was just too impossible. No one could change the past.

"What you have done in one life cannot be undone. But on this road you made different choices all beginning here." Faith leaned towards the mage. "I am offering you a chance to see what your life could have been like."

"But why? After everything I've done why are you doing this for me?" Anders demanded of her.

"Your connection to the Fade is too valuable. Your heart and mind are in such turmoil I was forced to answer your call." Faith raised her hand and gently caressed Anders' cheek. "If you do not wish to experience the other road then you will wake up in the camp."

"And what happens if I take your offer?" Anders asked.

"Then you will remain on that road but if you desire you can return to your original choices." Faith answered him.

Anders gulped audibly. He was truly tempted to open the door and see what was inside for just a moment. He knew that the real option would be to wake up and face the reality of what he had done to Hawke and his friends. The ring against his flesh felt so cool and he thought about that beautiful man asleep in their bed without a care in the world. If he went back to his own world then Anders would have to leave them. Hawke didn't want him anymore, couldn't stand to be around him at all. Maybe in time he would find someone to care about...

Who the hell was he fooling? Anders was spoiled for anyone now. Hawke had always been so gentle and so passionate when he wanted it. Even when his hands would glow with the energy of the Fade he had gained Hawke never once shied away from him. People feared what he was.

He was an abomination, a creature that needed to be destroyed but to Hawke he was something special and different. The familiar sense of anger filled his chest when he thought about the Chantry and the reasons why he did what he did.

"I can leave here if you wish." Faith interrupted his thoughts. "But this is a once in a lifetime offer Anders. Once you wake up you will never have this chance again."

"None of this makes sense." The mage backed away from Faith. "I vowed to free mages! I swore to Hawke that there was no one in Kirkwall I wouldn't kill to see us set free. I have to live with my choices."

"So you will go back to your life? Back to where your friends wish you dead? Back to where Hawke has been broken by your deeds?" Faith glared at the stunned mage. "You have corrupted Justice enough Anders. Your crusade has led to war and now the Champion of Kirkwall is a hunted man. Even after all you have done he still wishes to protect you."

"I was never worthy of him." Anders whispered brokenly. "He had so much faith in me when I never deserved it."

"Love makes fools of us all." Faith smiled serenely at him. "Anders," she gently touched his face again. "You still have a chance. Even now you stand at another crossroad in your life. You can leave this place and return or you can see what your life would have been like if you had gone south that day. The corruption of Justice was never meant to happen. This way it can be put right."

He was so very tempted to accept the Spirit's offer but his doubts held him back along with the sorrow weighing on his heart. A part of him knew that he deserved this; he deserved to be alone after what he had done to Hawke and the others. But he had always been selfish. He still wanted that life with Garrett.

He wanted to wake up next to him and watch him smile when he woke up. If he could return to his real life then maybe he could just see what might have been. It couldn't hurt to just look and see what he could have had. If the memories were good then it would be enough. He had already hurt so many people that he had to wonder if maybe things would've been better if he had never been joined with Justice.

"Let me see…" Anders whispered as Faith placed a hand on his shoulder. Would Garrett still fall in love with him? Would he have loved Garrett without Justice there?" I-I just need to know if he's happy."

"When I send you back to the crossroad you can return here whenever you wish." Faith held out her hand for him to take. "You were a good man once. Justice needs to be fixed and cleaned from the taint you gave him."

"I know." And he truly did understand. He was a poison to Justice. He ruined whatever he touched. But he wanted to know…he had to see if his life could be better if he had taken that other road.

"Anders, there is something you must know." Faith pulled him towards the door. "For every action there will always be consequences. You will not become Justice's host but there is a chance someone else will."

"It can't be any worse than what I did with Justice." Anders murmured. "You said it yourself, I turned him into a murderer."

"Then I wish you luck."

Anders released her hand and took a deep breath. His hand hovered over the door handle as the doubts began to cloud his mind again. The golden ring glinted on his finger and he silently stared at it for what seemed to be years. If he could just see what he can still possess then he would be fine. He just has to know if his life would have been better.

He wanted to know if Hawke would still love him without Justice.

Closing his eyes Anders opened the door.


	3. The Road Not Taken

**Chapter Three**

**The Road Not Taken**

_**You know what they say about men like that. - Isabela **_

When he opened his eyes Anders felt as if his skull had been cleaved in two.

For a few minutes he honestly couldn't remember what had happened and where he was but then the memories came back with the force of a tidal wave. He lurched forward and was sick onto the grass below him as he remembered what he had done and that incredible dream he had experienced. Groaning he rubbed his sore eyes and sat up to gain his bearings. He didn't remember falling asleep back at the campsite.

The last thing he remembered was being in the rain when Garrett gave him the ring. Anders could already feel a lump forming in his throat. How could he face his ex-lover now after everything they had talked about? Fenris would probably enjoy what had happened between them. The elf always did have a thing for Hawke and Anders hated it.

Right now he needed to find some water and wash his face and the horrible taste out of his mouth. Anders sighed with relief when he spotted a small lake nearby just past some trees. He didn't remember seeing the lake last night but it had been dark and he had to watch as Hawke left him.

It was actually a nice area but there was something different to the feel of the place. Anders knelt down and cupped the cool water and began to drink. He washed away the foul taste of vomit from his mouth and gulped down more water. He didn't realise just how thirsty he was. Stopping to take a breath he glanced down into the water and felt his world freeze.

"What in the Maker's name?" he stared down at his reflection but was unable to grasp what he was seeing.

His hair was shorter and he had a gold earring in his left ear. His face was younger and didn't possess the look of a man carrying a terrible weight upon his soul. His clothing was a Ferelden mage robe. Anders fell back onto the grass when he realised what that dream had meant. But it was impossible. There was no way that the Spirits of the Fade possessed that kind of power. Anders staggered to his feet and ran out of the clearing. From where he stood he could see a valley stretching out below him and he instantly knew the landscape.

"Ferelden..." Anders whispered as his eyes widened. "Am I back?"

It was then he realised something else. He could no longer feel the other presence in his thoughts. It was as if a piece of his soul had become lighter. Justice was no longer there. The sense of loss was overwhelming and Anders fell against a tree nearby. It had all been real. Faith had come to him and offered him a chance at another life.

"No! This is insane!" Anders gripped his head. "This can't be happening."

No matter how hard he pressed his fingers into his skull the mage wouldn't leave this madness behind. He wanted to scream until his throat bled. Why couldn't he find any measure of peace anymore? He wanted to hear Hawke's strong voice soothing him, his hand rubbing his hair and telling him everything would be alright. Honey eyes snapped open when he thought of his beloved and his breathing began to even out slightly.

"Wait..." the mage scrambled out of the clearing and took in his surroundings again. "Lothering isn't far from here."

He could see the mountain that was used to access the village from where he was. If he took that road then he would reach the village in two days at most. He remembered turning east in the end so he could get lost in the forest where the Dalish elves were rumoured to dwell. His eyes turned to the south where the darkspawn were on the march from Ostagar.

"I can still get to him." Anders felt renewed hope flare in his heart.

Grabbing his staff and the small pack of supplies he had taken with him Anders started running along the dirt road towards Lothering. The templars would be on his tail soon. They always managed to catch him sooner or later but he had the knowledge and experience from a decade yet to happen. So much magic knowledge was swirling within his mind. His access to elemental magic was still there as was his connection to creation magic and the ability to heal.

He had learned how to hide and avoid the templars during his stay in Kirkwall. All he cared about now was finding Garrett and his family. Maybe he could save his love from the heartbreak that had always plagued him over the years. Hawke had done so much for Kirkwall and for him.

The least Anders could do was give his love back the family he had lost.

* * *

_**Lothering**_

Garrett gripped his mother's hand while Carver and Bethany tore through the darkspawn blocking their path out of the village. The entire village had fallen to the Horde pouring out of the south and word had reached the survivors about Ostagar falling to the beasts. Carver had barely escaped that hell with his life. He returned with news about the king's death and Loghain's betrayal on the battlefield.

They didn't have time to take in the news that the south had fallen. All that mattered to Garrett was getting his family out of the path of the encroaching darkspawn but they were already being flanked from all sides. The fire had ripped through the village before anyone could do anything about it and the darkspawn poured in. Garrett had grabbed his mother and what little food they could carry and the family had left the village behind.

Even now the smell of smoke and burnt flesh was thick in the air. Bethany used her elemental magic against any enemy coming near her while Carver relied solely on his sword skills to battle through. Leandra was no fighter and Garrett stayed close to his mother to ensure her safety. Ash blond hair fell into frightened blue-green eyes but now wasn't the time to be afraid. All that mattered was getting out of here and to the harbour.

Leandra had already suggested going to Kirkwall across the Waking Sea and after seeing the power of the Horde her children had to agree with her option. The Grey Wardens had all been butchered on the field at Ostagar. Ferelden was going to fall under the rule of an archdemon. Garrett stopped when the family reached a clearing and they all took a deep breath. The eldest child looked around but he couldn't see any darkspawn around. Hopefully they had gotten past them now.

"It's all gone." Leandra clutched her belly. "Our home, our friends...everything."

"I know mother but we have to keep moving." Garrett squeezed her hand. The older woman gulped back her tears but she nodded in reply.

"We can't stay here long." Bethany spoke up when the family got some of their strength back. "The Horde will be upon us soon."

"You don't need to tell me that." Carver angrily ran a hand through his hair. "I've been running since bloody Ostagar."

"Stop arguing you two." Garrett barked. the last thing he wanted was for the twin's to start tearing each other's throats out. "We need to get down the mountain now."

"And then what?" Carver crossed his arms. "We'll have the templars after us too once we leave here."

"I'd sooner take my chances with the templars." Garrett snapped back. "Now come on you two. The darkspawn will be here soon."

"Once we reach the coast we can book passage to Kirkwall." Leandra followed after her three children. "I still have family there who can help us."

"It's our only chance now." Bethany agreed while Carver sighed. He could never win these arguments.

Garrett gripped his own staff and motioned for the others to follow him along the pathway down the mountainside. More darkspawn were already running towards them from the path they left behind. Bethany created a wall of flame to block them off buying the group more time. Carver and Garrett ran ahead of the others while the family mabari Cerberus tore into the darkspawn. As soon as the group reached the thin ledge they encountered two other survivors. A warrior woman and her templar husband had managed to avoid the bulk of the Horde pouring in from the north leaving them cut off from their escape route.

Garrett had wanted to travel along the south path but that would take them straight into the Wilds which meant vicious beasts and fellow apostates. Bethany ran alongside her brother to avoid the templar they had picked up. More darkspawn continued to pour into the pathway from both directions leaving them blocked off again. After cutting another bloody path the group eventually reached a flat piece of land where the darkspawn were gathering upon.

"There is no end to them." Aveline held out her shield in a defensive stance.

"We'll make it through this." Garrett vowed. He would protect his family no matter what. He had promised his father that on his death bed.

"Here they come!" Carver readied his sword.

The darkspawn howled and screamed as they attacked the humans at full strength. Garrett and Bethany attacked them using their fire and ice spells while Carver and Aveline took stamina draughts to keep up their strength. They were both exhausted from the constant fighting and Garrett had used the last lyrium potion not long ago. After what seemed like hours the last darkspawn fell before Aveline's blade.

"Is that it?" Leandra gasped out. She was helping to bandage Wesley's wounds as best she could but the blood loss had made him incredibly weak already.

"Now what?" Garrett felt the ground quake beneath his feet as the sound of footsteps pounding heavily on the ground rang out.

"Andraste protect us." Aveline whispered when a large nightmarish creature emerged from the road. The ogre snarled causing spittle and blood to fly in all directions as it opened its giant arms and roared.

"Vile monster!" Carver drew up his sword. "I'll kill you!"

Garrett felt his heart freeze in his chest when his brother charged towards the ogre. The mage was about to try and cast a spell to distract the beast when a fireball flew directly into the ogre's chest and forced it onto its back. Flames rained down from the sky as the fire and ice consumed the darkspawn in the vicinity. Garret shielded his eyes from the harsh glare of the magical attack while the gore got back onto its feet.

Looking around frantically for the source of the magic he felt his mouth drop open when he laid eyes on a man standing on the path they had arrived from. He was wearing the traditional mage robes and carrying a simple wooden staff. His chestnut hair was loose from the ponytail he kept it in and his honey eyes flashed with power.

The mage ran towards the ogre while casting a Haste spell on the group of survivors. Bethany and Carver used the surge of energy to get their mother and Wesley to safety while Aveline took out more darkspawn trying to take the group out. Garrett could only stare at the strange mage as he unleashed a barrage of fire and ice spells onto the ogre and the mighty beast couldn't withstand the vicious attack. It fell to the ground and flailed its arms while the mage climbed onto its chest and held his staff above the beast's head.

"You will not touch him!" the mage snarled as he drove his staff into the ogre's open mouth. Blood splashed out and coated the mage's robes but he didn't seem to care.

"Who is that?" Bethany breathed out. She had never seen such raw power before but the man had fought as if possessed. And what did he mean by saying that to the dying ogre?

"I have to admit, that was impressive." Garrett approached the mage carefully.

Those honey eyes were no longer filled with flashing power but there was something in those depths Garrett couldn't understand. The mage was looking at him with such sadness but Garrett would have remembered meeting someone like him.

"T-Thank you..." the man stammered as he shuffled his feet. "My name is Anders."

"I'm Garrett Hawke and this is my family." He motioned to the others. "Thanks for coming to the rescue like that."

"I've fought these things before. It was nothing." Anders shrugged as his heart beat so hard within his chest. When Theron had taken him into the Wardens the elf had taught Anders how to fight darkspawn using only his staff as a weapon. The Commander had said that you couldn't always rely on magic to save you in a fight.

"You saved my children." Leandra was crying but the happiness on her face was exuberant. "Thank you so much."

Anders could feel his cheeks heat up at the compliment. Carver and Bethany stood by their mother while Garrett smiled thankfully at him. Anders could feel his heart break a little when the ash blond mage turned away to inspect his family. Garrett looked so different. He was younger obviously but there was still a faint look of innocence about him.

He wasn't yet touched by the pain of losing his siblings and mother. Anders could only hope that he had spared his love that agony. He would do whatever it took to keep Garrett smiling and if he did it right this time the mage would soon be smiling just for him again.

"Listen, we're heading to Kirkwall. Why don't you some with us?" Garrett suggested which startled Anders out of his thoughts.

"Are you sure?" Anders asked. "I mean, I'm an apostate and the templars will be tracking me."

"I've been running from the Circle all my life. My sister is a mage too." Garrett cocked his head to the side. "Besides I want to repay you for your help."

Before Anders could reply a great roar broke the stillness from above. Looking up the group was stunned to see a giant red dragon sitting on a cliff. The beast spread its wings and flew down onto the corpse strewn ground leaving them cut off from an escape route. Once the dragon landed a harsh glare of yellow light shone out causing everyone to shield their eyes. Anders could faintly make out the dragon's form shrinking in size and then another shape took its place...a human shape.

That was when a woman's voice spoke.

"Well, well...what do we have here?"


	4. Shut Your Eyes

**Chapter Four**

**Shut Your Eyes**

_**You are not required to do anything, least of all believe. - Flemeth**_

_**Lothering**_

Anders had run faster than he thought possible.

Even after casting his Haste spell he used all his strength to run towards the doomed village before Garrett and his family left with Flemeth. Anders had been stunned when Garrett had told him how he and his family had gotten to a ship bound for Kirkwall. The Witch of the Wilds was a legend among the Circle mages and she was often told to the children when they wanted to hear a scary story. Anders had often told her tale to the young mages he was in charge of.

She was the boogieman to the children, the evil witch who spirited away little girls to be used as hosts for her foul essence. Anders had never truly believed that she was real but Garrett wouldn't make something like that up.

The mage ran until he was sure his lungs would collapse unless he started breathing right again. Planting his hand against a rock he gasped for breath as the sounds of screaming reached him from the burning village. Once he had gathered enough energy Anders ran towards the village entrance but stopped when he saw darkspawn rampaging through the fields. He had seen the devastation darkspawn could wrought upon innocent people.

He had witnessed what had happened at Amaranthine first hand before Theron saved the city from destruction. He had only ever heard tales of what had occurred at Lothering but he never imagined the true horror of the attack. People were being cut down without mercy. Blood had stained the grass and mud while the fires continued to spread out and consume the houses. Anders gripped his staff as more darkspawn run nearby.

He could no longer sense them. That terrible feeling in the back of his mind was no longer there and while he liked that it also made his task a little more difficult. He wouldn't be able to sense any darkspawn coming. He squared back his shoulders. If Hawke had gotten his family through these beasts and survived then so could he. Casting Haste again Anders ran through the fields while the darkspawn began moving towards the Imperial Highway Bridge leading into the north.

Theron and Alistair were long gone by now. Anders tossed fireballs at any darkspawn that came near him. He may not be a Grey Warden now but he had more than enough experience battling the bastards. With the bridge cut off and the fields burning around him Anders could only see one other road out of the village. He gasped when the darkspawn fired arrows at him but he ran towards the pathway.

The sounds of the people screaming tore into his heart but there was nothing he could do for them. He was not a Warden anymore and without the ability to sense the creatures he would be useless in a battle. All that mattered was finding Garrett and saving his family. Anders noticed burnt corpses littering the ground and continued onwards. Even at this time Garrett was still a powerful mage in his own right. Anders found more bodies along a narrow road leading around the mountain.

Anders could hear the telltale growling of the darkspawn just up ahead and he took a lyrium potion to prepare for the battle. When he reached the flat patch of ground he could feel the world slow down. An ogre had joined the conflict and was facing off against a young dark haired woman carrying a staff. Anders could see the magic forming in her hand and he suddenly realised who that woman was. Garrett had told him how his sister had been killed fighting an ogre.

Without thinking Anders felt his anger flare and he blasted out fire and ice towards the beast before Bethany could finish her casting. He spotted Carver and Aveline hacking through the darkspawn on the edges of the flat battlefield but it was the last person firing fireballs that caught Anders' attention. Garrett Hawke, the future Champion of Kirkwall and slayer of dragons, demons and the Knight-Commander was fighting off darkspawn with only his staff.

He was wearing simple cloth pants, boots and a red tunic as he stabbed through his attackers with the blade end of his staff. Wide aquamarine eyes stared as the ogre collapsed and a youthful face could still be seen through the blood and gore caking his skin. The ogre was back on its feet and Anders ran towards the beast. He used another spell which managed to knock the wounded monster off its feet again.

"You will not touch him!" the mage raised his staff then drove it deep into the ogre's open mouth.

Anders breathed harshly as vile blood coated his robed and skin but he made no move to retract his staff for the moment. Finally when he was convinced the ogre wasn't getting up Andes moved off the body and jumped down onto the ground. He had never actually slain an ogre by himself before and the feeling left him quite weightless. He had watched Theron and Justice take out the monsters with ease and shining blades but Anders preferred to finish them off from a distance with spells.

He was staring at his blood stained staff when a voice spoke up.

"I have to admit that was impressive."

The sound of his voice almost finished the mage completely. There he stood covered in gore and blood but he was still the most handsome man Anders had ever laid eyes on. He was smiling but there was a hint of wariness there. Garrett was on his guard, ready to fight again if need be. Carver and Bethany stood together and Anders had to admit that they made a striking family.

He could see Aveline with the man he presumed to be her husband Wesley, the templar who died from the Taint. Anders wished there was something he could do for her but he wasn't a Warden and even then he didn't know the details of the Joining ritual.

"T-Thank you." Anders hated how his voice stammered. "My name is Anders."

"I'm Garrett Hawke and this is my family. Thanks for coming to the rescue like that." The mage nodded his thanks.

It was so surreal to be talking to him like this. He remembered when they used to spend hours talking the night away at the Hawke Estate. They would sit at the table and talk about a new book out or Varric losing his money to Isabela playing Wicked Grace. It had always been so easy to talk to his fellow mage and Anders wondered if he could get that feeling of normalcy back.

"I've fought these things before. It was nothing." Anders could feel his cheeks heat up when Garrett looked impressed with his efforts.

Leandra expressed her tearful gratitude to Anders when he saved her family while Garrett offered to help him get to Kirkwall. Anders froze at that. If he left now then he would never join the Grey Wardens and he wouldn't meet Theron. The elf had changed his life, had given him a meaning again when all he knew was how to run and never look back.

Theron always said that he had survived the battles they encountered because of Anders' healing spells. Would the Commander be alright? he had lived through the Blight and had slain the archdemon. Theron would be fine...he always survived what he faced.

Anders was still unsure about going to Kirkwall right now but Garrett wanted to repay him for saving his family. Even now the blond mage couldn't say no when Garrett gave him that little half smile of gratitude. The sound of a terrible roar drew their attention and Anders look up to see a dragon swooping down from a cliff.

He frowned when it landed nearby and a flash of yellow light caused his eyes to hurt. He had been there on Sundermount when Flemeth had emerged from the amulet. He wasn't surprised when the dragon changed and a tall whit haired woman took its place. She look exactly the same as she had that time atop the sacred mountain. Anders didn't betray anything and instead simply watched as she approached them.

Anders watched with rapt interest as Flemeth turned her golden gaze upon the Hawke family. She made a comment about encountering Grey Wardens from the Wilds and Anders could breathe a little easier. He felt his blood chill when the witch suddenly walked up to him and stared directly into his honey eyes.

"And what are you I wonder?" she rasped. her lips were drawn back into a smile but nothing was warm about it. "You are something else aren't you? What are you doing here? Why have you some?"

"He saved us. He was the one to take down the ogre." Garrett intervened.

"Ahh..." Flemeth smirked. "Then perhaps you can be of some use. But are you here because of fate or chance? I can never decide."

"Wesley!" Aveline gripped her husband's arm as his body began suffering through the effects of the Taint. "What's happening to him?"

"What has been down to your man cannot be undone." Flemeth replied but there was a look, just a flicker of sadness in her old gaze. "The only way to save him is to make him a Grey Warden."

"And they're all gone now." Garrett rubbed his face.

"The last are beyond your reach." the witch answered. "There is only one other option left."

"No!" Aveline shook her head. "Don't touch him!"

"Here," Anders knelt down and raised his hands as a gentle blue glow emerged from his palms. "It'll help with the pain but I can't cure this. I'm so sorry."

"I can feel it Aveline." Wesley gasped through the pain he was in. "I've been tainted by their blood. It is a slow, agonising death. Please, don't let that happen."

Anders moved away while Garrett placed a hand on Aveline's shoulder and told her that this was her choice alone. To see what the Taint did her people was excruciating and Anders honestly wouldn't wish this on anyone. He turned away as Aveline drove the dagger into Wesley's chest. Flemeth was now offering Garrett and his family a way to the harbour so they could find a ship to Kirkwall.

"Anders," the mage felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Garrett watching him with sad eyes. "Please come with us. The darkspawn will be here soon."

"Make your choice lad." Flemeth turned her back to the group. "We all encounter crossroads in our lives. The question is which road are you going to take this time?"

"I'll come with you." Anders made up his mind.

Even if somehow Flemeth knew what happened to him and how he got to be here Anders didn't care anymore. He couldn't get down the mountain path now without encountering darkspawn on the way and the templars would take him back again. He felt his chest tighten when he thought about the Circle. Karl was still there, still passionate and warm and kind.

But he would be in Kirkwall within the next two years. Anders was filled with a sense of renewed hope when he thought about what he could do to save Karl this time. He could make things right again. The group began to follow after Flemeth.

"And now we have another apostate to watch out for." Carver griped only to have his sister smack him on the head.

"He saved our lives Carver. At least say thank you." Bethany scowled at her twin.

"It's ok." Anders waved his hand. He had known Carver from before and honestly he preferred to avoid the man as often as possible.

"So how did you escape from the Circle?" Garrett asked. Even though he had lived free from the Circle all his life there was a part of him that had always been curious about it.

"Oh, you want to know?" Anders brushed the hair from his eyes.

"I'm sure you've got quite a few tales to tell about it." Garrett grinned at him.

"W-Well there's nothing to tell really." Anders could feel his face heating up again. "I jumped into the lake when the templars brought us outside for some air. Almost froze my balls off doing that."

"You swam across the lake?" Garrett laughed at the image.

"Of course. It was the perfect escape plan really. The templars never saw it coming." Anders shrugged.

Flemeth could hear them talk while the older woman and her other children remained silent as the grave. Aveline as subdued and carried herself with strength despite what she had just done. The ancient witch admired that in a woman. Morrigan was always so strong and powerful and in the end still so very naïve in the way of the world.

The eldest, Garrett, had an aura about him that spoke of destiny and power. She had seen that once before when the Dalish Warden had been saved from the Tower of Ishal. And then there was the enigma…Anders.

Just looking at him felt wrong. Flemeth had seen so many terrible and wonderful things in her life but the mage was something else entirely. His eyes held the wisdom and pain of a life filled with hardship and decisions he regretted. He looked young but his soul, the very essence of who he was had an aura of darkness.

Anders was here for another reason and she suspected it had to do with Hawke. She was not blind to the look in his eyes when he stared at Hawke. Despite his arrival it would still be interesting to see what Anders was up to.

Yes, this would be very interesting indeed.

* * *

Just a note to sat thank you so much to the people who have bee following and reveiwing so far :)

I've just finished my second playthrough as a warrior this time round and I chased after Fenris. Such a prickly, sarcastic and generally grumpy guy but so worth the chase ;)

Along with the next chapter to this story I've got an M!Hawke/Fenris oneshot in the works which I hope you'll like. I'm working to remedy the severe lack of M!Hawke stories here. Seriosuly every time I check the dragon age pages it's always F!Hawke. Ok, aside from that I'll see you guys later :)


	5. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Chapter Five**

**Down The Rabbit Hole**

_The Blight was over. But at what cost? – Duncan_

_Kirkwall_

_The Gallows Courtyard_

Anders was a strange man.

During the two weeks they spent cramped together on that Maker forsaken ship Garrett had taken to watching he mage with curiosity. He was powerful and skilled with healing spells but he was quiet and didn't talk about his past much. Garrett didn't like to pry into people's personal affairs but there was something about Anders that made him want to know the blond mage.

Bethany would tease him about it while Carver sneered and ignored them entirely. Garrett hated the way his brother treated him and Bethany because of their magic. Kirkwall was a templar city and their ability to hide was now extremely limited but they had no other choice.

Whenever Anders did talk about the Circle it made Garrett frown and worry about being sent there to be watched and hated by men and women around him simply because he was a mage. Once the ship docked at the Gallows the group were taken into the courtyard, which at first glance was both impressive and intimidating.

Large bronze statues of people covering their faces with their hands were the most eye catching structures here. Groups of refugees were gathering together to try and enter the city but the guards were having none of it. Garrett could only hope that his uncle had gotten Leandra's letters about the Blight and he was waiting for them.

Garrett looked around the courtyard and felt a surge of helplessness run through him. He was in charge of his family now and he needed to protect them but this was an alien city. He was Ferelden despite his mother's noble blood and a part of him didn't want to fit in here. He wasn't deluding himself about the Blight ending back home so soon but he could always hope that the Wardens found a way to end it quickly.

At least Bethany and Carver were safe along with their mother. Aveline was staying with them. She too had lost everything now and Garrett didn't want to just send her on her way alone. He had no doubt that she could take care of herself but sticking together would be the best thing for them now. He hoped that Anders would stay around too. Something about the blond mage made him feel a little better about everything.

Anders felt sick to his stomach watching all the Ferelden refugees around him. His clinic had given them some semblance of hope. Once he got into the city he was planning on setting up the clinic again. Some things didn't have to change so radically now that he knew what was happening. These people still needed help.

Anders noticed that Garrett was now waiting patiently for his jackass of an uncle. Anders had never liked the man and it had only gotten worse when he found out about Garrett's love life. Gamlen was a slippery little creep but he as still their only chance at getting into the city.

"So that's it." Garrett leaned against a pillar. "We wait for Gamlen to arrive."

"I can't believe this is happening." Carver swiped a hand through his hair. "We should be in the city now."

"We waited this long to get to. What are another few days?" Garrett grinned at his brother's angry face.

"This is making me nervous." Aveline adjusted the shield strapped to her back. "We'll be lucky to get in ahead of all the other people."

"I'm sure Gamlen will come once he knows we're here." Leandra sounded optimistic.

"Being around this place..." Bethany gripped Garrett's hand. "I'm nervous brother."

"I know." The ash blond mage whispered. He had always taken care of his sister even as a child. He had promised his father on his death bed that he would look after his family no matter what.

"Do you think we'll be ok here?" she asked, her dark eyes glimmering with no small amount of fear.

"You don't need to worry Beth." She smiled when he used his pet name for her. "We'll make a new home here."

"The Gallows..." Anders muttered as a familiar feeling of anger bubbled up inside him. "Nothing but a prison for mages."

"You know this place?" Carver stared at the mage.

"I read about it." Anders replied and that wasn't entirely a lie. "I know the Imperium built this place using slaves and now it's a prison for mages. Ironic, eh?"

"It gives me the chills." Bethany shivered slightly. "Those statues are creepy."

"I hope we get in soon. I'm starving." Carver held his stomach which was now growling rather loudly.

"There's a shop over there." Anders pointed to a tiny stall set up at the other end of the courtyard. "I have some money."

"You don't have to but us anything." Garrett held up his hand.

"You speak for yourself!" Carver grabbed Anders' arm and led him to the stall.

"Figures the only time Carver is nice to him is when he offers to buy us food." Garrett snorted at his brother's behaviour.

"Well at least he's making friends now." Bethany laughed when her older brother rolled his eyes and went to stand with his mother and Aveline.

It took another three days before Gamlen finally arrived and once again Anders had to wonder how in the Maker's name Garrett put up with him. The man was now trying to convince Garret, Bethany and Carver to work off a year's debt. Anders had no doubt in his mind that they would be fine. He already had his own plans about setting up the clinic in Darktown the first moment he could get. For now he'd have to stay close to the Hawke family while staying out of the way of the templars and that lunatic Meredith.

She didn't have the lyrium idol yet so her power was limited. Anders felt his breath catch in his throat when a thought hit him. The idol was still buried down in the Deep Roads. He had gone down with Garrett the first time and he had watched when his brother succumbed to the Taint when Varric's treacherous brother left them trapped in that hell.

He knew that Garrett needed this expedition so that his family could buy the old Amell estate from the slavers. But if he could destroy that idol before they found it then...

Anders tucked away that information for another day. Now they could get into the city thanks to Garrett and his siblings signing on to work for the smuggler elf Gamlen knew. Anders took a deep breath as he followed after a hopeful looking Garrett. The man was a survivor, he would be alright during the coming year and Anders would have time to think and plan.

He had time now and he was going to use it.

* * *

_Ferelden - Amaranthine _

_The Mother's Lair_

Everything hurt.

His body had been slashed and tore apart by vicious talons, blood pooled beneath his broken form and his face had been shredded by the attacks he had endured. The Mother was dead now along with her horrific brood of Children. Amaranthine had been saved and he could only hope that Vigil's Keep had survived against the darkspawn. He tried to open his mouth but blood gurgled up and frothed his lips. Even when he fought the archdemon he had never known a pain like this.

Theron could barely see anything through the blood and dust but he could make out sounds and shapes. He thought he could make out a dark haired figure pushing rubble and rocks aside while screaming at him. Was there a blond woman too? Theron remembered bringing Nathaniel, Valenna and Justice into the lair with him. As long as they were safe then everything would be fine.

His right hand still gripped the hilt of Starfang, the blade he used to cut down the archdemon and the Mother. He had only ever used the blue sword twice since its creation at Dragon's Peak. The ethereal blue blade was now coated in thick black blood when he sliced into the Mother's face and body. The left side of his body had been ripped, torn and left mutilated by the attacks but for now the pain was beginning to fade.

The Warden could feel a sense of peace settle over his body and suddenly he could clearly see his companions tearing through the rubble to reach him. Theron could almost smile but it was just so hard to stay awake now. Was this how he would die after everything he had gone through to survive?

He had saved Ferelden with his friends and loved ones and united the races of the land in a final desperate battle against the darkspawn. The ancient dragon had fallen to his blade and the people had cheered his name in reverence even though he was a Dalish elf.

Becoming Warden-Commander had been Alistair's idea once he was crowned the new king. It was his way of repaying Theron for making him the king at the Landsmeet. The elf hoped that Alistair would be alright without him there.

The former templar was always getting into trouble and wandering off to find some cheese to eat. Theron wanted to scream when hands grabbed his torn body and he was placed onto his back. Faces swam in front of him but he couldn't make out who they belonged to.

"Do we have anymore poultices?" Nathaniel screamed to the others when he turned over the Commander to get a better look at him.

"There's nothing!" Velanna was looking through the bag on his belt but they had used up all their potions during the battle. "There's nothing left!"

"Heal him! Do something!" Nate felt hot tears falling from his eyes but he was beyond caring now.

Theron, the strongest man he ever met, was broken and torn apart in his arms. Half of his face, his _face, _was gone, lost in shredded skin and blood and meat. His daggers lay in a pool of black blood nearby at the corpse of the Mother and Starfang was still in his hand. He was barely breathing now and Nate felt uncontrollable panic well up inside him. Theron would never make it without a healing spell of some sort but Valenna wasn't skilled in the healing arts.

The Dalish elf was looking just as stricken as Nate while Justice remained silent. The Spirit had seen so many things since Kristof became his host when the Warden had been murdered by the darkspawn. He had started feelings things a Spirit had never and should never feel. But he had grown fond of the Commander over the months and he clenched his hands at the sheet frustration he was feeling. Theron didn't deserve this...he shouldn't be defeated like this!

"We have to do something." Nate stared up at the quiet Spirit. "You're a Fade Spirit. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"His body is beyond repair now." Justice knelt down next to the Commander. "But I wish there was something I could do."

"It's..." Theron choked out through the blood in his mouth. "It's...ok...fine..."

"No it's not alright!" Nate shook his head. "We'll get you out of here Commander."

"The wounds are too great." the blond elf said remorsefully. "He'll never make it back in time."

"We can't just sit here!" Nate spat harshly. "He would never leave any of us. We owe him this!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Velanna snarled at him. "He is Dalish and the closest thing I've had to a real family since my sister was taken. Do not preach to me about what we owe him."

"Theron..." Justice stared down at the broken elf. This wasn't right. Where was the justice in this? Theron deserved better than this. He needed to survive. The world needed someone like him to bring justice to wherever it was needed. "Theron, there might be a way I can help."

"You can save him?" Nate and Velanna stopped arguing instantly.

"This body..." he motioned to Kristof's corpse. "This form is already dead and beyond healing. But I believe I can save the Commander before he is taken."

"What are you talking about?" Nate wiped his eyes.

"As you have said I am a Fade Spirit but this corpse does not allow me to take control of my true power. The body does not dream and the Fade is beyond me now." Justice explained quickly. "If this body dies then I may be able to save Theron."

"By doing what?" the elf woman narrowed her eyes. Justice turned his saddened eyes back to the red headed elf.

"We can co-exist." the Spirit answered. "If it works he will be my host."


	6. Come And Follow Me

**Chapter Six**

**Come And Follow Me**

**_You take a breath, look around and start over. – Garrett Hawke_**

**_Kirkwall – One year after the Blight _**

**_Templar Headquarters_**

Meredith was not a happy woman.

It was damn obvious in the way she held herself and her cold eyes were more frigid than before and her face was pale and drawn. Another delivery had been left at her doorstep and once again nobody saw a Maker damned thing when the package was dropped off. It was always the same. Body parts wrapped in cloth would be delivered to the templar headquarters at night and nobody would be able to see a thing. It wasn't just templars who were hacked into pieces.

Sometimes it was city guards or the leader of a gang trying to claim Kirkwall's streets for their own gain. It became obvious from the beginning that there was a vigilante in the city and Meredith was running out of options on how to find the bastard and bring him in. The Knight-Commander had sent out some of her best agents to track the vigilante down but they came back in pieces within a few days.

When she came to this city she vowed to protect the innocent from the evil of the mages. The Gallows were a factor in Kirkwall's protection and as such the templar headquarters was stationed there. She was not blind to the apostates living in the slums and Lowercity but the templars patrolled those areas all the time. They had orders to arrest any mage the moment they used their magic against another. Kirkwall had become her home in a way and she would do whatever it took to keep it safe which was why she was contemplating various options to find the vigilante and she hated were her thoughts were going.

Hissing angrily she tossed a stack of papers from her desk as she stood up to stare out across the city from her office. Looking upon Kirkwall from here managed to give her some feelings of calm but they would never last long. The guards were beginning to demand answers and the Viscount was becoming aware of what was going on. There were growing rumours on the street of a figure taking out gangs and thugs to protect civilians.

Meredith wouldn't turn down another blade looking to help keep the city safe but she had heard that this man or whatever it was had managed to take out some of her best templars and help fleeing mages. At first she suspected that the healer in Darktown had something to do with it but her scouts reported back with news that he never left his clinic during the attacks.

And then there was the Hawke family from Ferelden.

Garrett Hawke was making a new among the underground. He had been seen using magic but he had stayed out of the way of the templars. Meredith had recently received letters from King Alistair about getting the Ferelden refugees home again. The blond woman would truly welcome that but for now she was stuck with them until the southern continent recovered from the Blight. If Hawke remained out of the way then he wouldn't be dragged into the Gallows were he belonged.

King Alistair had also made it clear that the Ferelden mages would be his problem. Meredith could only grind her teeth together. That useless Warden would be the end of her. But there was one good thing she had heard about Hawke, he always got results when he was hired for a job.

"Cullen!" Meredith called but she didn't turn away from the window when the captain entered.

"Knight-Commander." He acknowledged her.

"I am not going to lose another templar to that lunatic on the streets." Meredith whispered in a chilling voice. "We have lost good men and women and it has to end now. The Viscount is getting impatient."

"I understand." Cullen said.

"I want to put an end to this vigilante." She responded coolly. "And there is someone I believe can get the job done."

"Is it someone I know?" Cullen inquired.

"Bring me Garrett Hawke." Meredith turned and stared stonily at her captain. "He is not to be harmed."

"The apostate?" Cullen had heard about Hawke and he hated that the apostate could wonder about the city as he pleased.

"Do not question me." Meredith slammed her fist onto her desk. "Bring him here now. I will have the vigilante's head on my desk and he will deliver."

"I would never question your orders commander but why him?" Cullen had to know her reasoning.

"You have heard the reports from the city. Even the Chantry talks about him. He gets results no matter how bad or good they are to the client." Meredith cooled her anger. "Now I want him here before nightfall."

"Y-Yes..." Cullen gulped but he turned and quickly left the room.

He hated that he could never find the vigilante and he couldn't blame his commander for getting angry like that. But the fact that she was going to use a Ferelden apostate to track the murderer down was unnerving to him. Cullen had seen firsthand what evil mages could unleash. He still had nightmares about the Circle and what Uldred committed all in the name of freedom.

Mages had to be locked away for their own protection just as much as the people around them. But he wouldn't question his commander. He would find Hawke and bring him to Meredith and if the apostate tried anything he would not hesitate to cut him down.

* * *

**_Kirkwall_**

**_Hightown _**

Rubbing his neck Anders looked up from the letter he was writing and decided that now would be a good a time as any to take a break. He could restock his healing supplies later but finding lyrium potions was becoming a chore now that the templar presence had increased in the city over the past year. It was so hard to look at them and not think about that night when he ignited the war between mages and templars. Anders closed his eyes as he recalled the past year vividly.

He had seen Meredith only twice but it was enough to fill him with seething hatred for the insane bitch. Now that he knew about her true nature he could already see the simmering madness in her cold frozen eyes. It made him think that the idol only brought out what was already there in the heart. Bartrand's insanity had made Anders think about the idol's powers but Meredith was the proof. She would always be a threat but if she never got the idol then finding a peaceful solution might still be reached if Hawke had his way.

Anders blushed and smiled when he thought about the wise cracking mage who was making a name already in the Undercity. Bethany and Carver managed to stay out of the templar's way while Aveline got a position at the City Guards. Some things never changed and for that Anders was grateful. He glanced down at the letter he was writing to his potion supplier before folding it up. He would pick up the supplies while visiting Hightown in a few hours then be on his way to see Garrett for their lunch date.

Anders flushed when he thought about it but in the year since they came here Garrett had opted to help out at the clinic whenever he could and Anders had offered to help hone his own healing skills. Garrett had been a skilled Force Mage before and Anders had no doubt he would master those traits again in time. Bethany was constantly teasing her big brother about his friendship with Anders.

It was strange to see someone like Garrett acting shy and uncertain whenever he was around Anders but the blond mage was going to take his time. Carver had finally come around to accepting him as a friend but even now it was still on rocky ground. Carver was a little annoying with his jealousy issues with Garrett but he cared about his older brother no matter what he said or did. The last time they talked Anders suggested that Carver try to join the Guards and make a name for himself there.

Bethany had to restrict her activities but Garrett was always out in the city trying to make money for his family. He hated having to watch his mother live in that hovel Gamlen called home sweet home and Anders couldn't blame him. Anders stood up and stretched to loosen up his tired muscles. There had been quite a few patients today and the shortage on lyrium potions was making it a little difficult for him to use all his healing abilities.

Garrett was always looking through the stocks of items the smugglers brought in so he could give lyrium potions to Anders. The blond mage felt so ashamed at times like that when Garrett went out of his way to help him without any thought of a favour in return. Anders frowned as a wave of dizzy caused him to slump against the wall. He had used his magic up completely today and was now exhausted. He could already hear Leandra and Bethany yelling at him for overusing his mana pool while they forced him to drink water or take some soup. It felt so strange having them mother him at times but in a way he felt warm about it.

"Anders?" the mage jumped when he heard Garrett's voice. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He smiled at the man. "Just a little tired."

"Then it's a good thing Bethany is with mother today." Garrett teased.

"Thank the Maker for small favours." Anders laughed.

"Listen, I think I've found a way to get my family out of the slums." Garrett sounded excited and a little worried. "But I don't think they'll agree to it...well, my mother certainly won't."

"What have you done now?" Anders crossed his arms.

"Nothing bad!" Garrett held up his hands.

"You said that last time." Anders cocked an eyebrow. "Remember You came in here with a broken leg, busted nose and soup poured all over your head. And all because you kept hitting on Lord Colten's lover."

"But he was really feisty. You know me Anders, if he has killer blue eyes and a nice smile I'll marry him on the spot." Garrett laughed.

"I know..." Anders smiled weakly. Over the past year Anders had wanted so desperately to be with Garrett again but the memory of what he did and what was still to happen always kept him back. Garrett had always been a flirt and watching him chatting up any man that crossed his path made Anders boil with rage and jealously.

"Ok so maybe that was one bad time..." Garrett scratched his head sheepishly. "But he was really cute."

"But it only gets you beaten up by angry lovers." Anders sat down next to Garrett. "So what is it you wanted to tell me."

"I met this dwarf at the Hanged Man and he's organizing an expedition into the Deep Roads. I want to go with him."

Anders felt his blood drain from his face the moment Garrett said those words. He had been dreading this day since he arrived in the city. Going into those Roads cost Garrett his brother and that horrific idol had poisoned Bartrand the second he saw it. He could never find any information on the idol or who created the thaig. The documents just never went that far back. But if Garrett didn't go there then he wouldn't get the money he needed to become a noble in the city.

"Anders I'll be fine." Garrett frowned when his friend suddenly turned pale. "I fought darkspawn before."

"Garrett, going into the Deep Roads isn't like taking a stroll along the Wounded Coast." The mage cursed when he felt his hands shaking. "It's a terrible place full of darkspawn and beasts that have never seen the light of day."

"You sound like you've been there." Garrett muttered with a strange look in his eyes.

"I knew a Grey Warden once...a long time ago actually." Anders murmured wistfully. "He told me about the horrors he faced down there and the nightmares it gave him. I'm not doubting your skills Garrett but I worry about you."

Garrett felt his heart pound in his chest when Anders stared at him with those beautiful honey eyes. He had never met anyone like Anders in his life. He was an incredibly skilled healer who never asked for anything in return and most of the time it left him exhausted and drained. Garrett could talk to him openly when he didn't want to worry his siblings or mother with his problems. He was the big brother, he had to be the strong one but it was a relief to unload on someone and Anders was always there for him.

"T-Thanks Anders." Garrett hated when he blushed and stuttered around the handsome mage. He wasn't like this with anyone else. "But if the treasure we find can give my family their lives back then I have to do this."

"You're always selfless even when it gets you into serious trouble." Anders knew that look on Hawke's face. Nothing was going to change his mind. "What if I came with you?"

"What?" Garrett went wide eyed. "I can't ask you to do that."

"I'm offering." Anders held up his hand to stop any argument. "In the Deep Roads you need someone there to look after your back."

"I was going to ask Bartrand if I could join. I don't even know if he'll agree yet." Garrett answered when speech returned to him. Anders would honestly go into the Deep Roads with him?

"When you get stubborn I don't think anyone can say no to you." Anders brushed a lock of hair from his eyes. "But what about your family?"

"I'll think of something." Garrett replied. "But I need to see Bartrand first." The ash blond mage stood up and walked to the clinic entrance. "Anders..."

"Yes?" honey eyes warmed when Garrett smiled at him, one of his true and open smiles that hid nothing.

"Thank you." He stepped forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Anders' cheek. Garrett's face blushed red and he quickly turned and left.

"You're welcome." Anders whispered when Garrett left him alone.

His cheek was still tingling where those soft lips had pressed against. It felt nice to be thanked like that. Anders would keep his promise once Garrett secured the money he needed but the maps would be a problem. But if they found another entrance then there was a chance they would never find the idol. The treasures in the Deep Roads would hopefully be enough to get him the estate. One good thing would come out of this expedition though.

If what the other mage had told him was true then Garrett was on his way to meet Varric for the first time.


	7. Underneath It All

**Chapter Seven**

**Underneath It All**

**_So I fooled you did I? That's good to know. – Alistair _**

**_Kirkwall_**

Garrett could honestly admit that he had never met anyone quite like Varric Tethras.

After leaving Anders' clinic Garrett had made his way back up to Hightown and he had hoped to convince Bartrand to take him on the expedition. The dwarf was an obnoxious little shit and Garrett didn't have the coin to join the dwarf on his treasure hunt. He needed to find something that would convince the stubborn dwarf to take him on. The Maker must've decided to get off his ass and listen for once because his coin bag had been stolen and then retrieved by Varric.

He had pinned the thief to the wall with his unique crossbow and gave Hawke back his money along with the perfect opportunity for going on the expedition. Garrett wasn't entirely sure of helping the dwarf was the right idea but he was out of options for his family. He was sick of living in the hovel and worrying about the templars while Carver never failed to point that fact out. Gamlen was a pain in the ass and the only times Garrett felt remotely sane was when he was talking to Anders.

And now here he was with a dwarf for a companion along with Cerberus by his side as always. Varric suggested going to the Hanged Man to discuss an option for entering the Deep Roads. Bartrand apparently hadn't found a decent entrance yet in the Free Marches and if Varric knew a way in then it was make a good bargaining chip. The only problem he had now was getting the money together. Over the past year he had saved what money he could while doing jobs for the smugglers and any other paying work he could find.

He kept a locked box back home where Gamlen would never find it thankfully. If he was lucky then the money might just be enough for the expedition. Garrett knew that he would have to tell his family sooner or later about his idea but he didn't want them trying to talk him out of it. If he knew Carver then he'd want to come along to try and make a name for himself. Their mother would never allow this.

He still had a lot to do before trying to get onto the expedition. He still needed to travel to Sundermount and hand over the amulet Flemeth gave him last year. He was a little apprehensive about going to visit the Dalish camp after what Anders told him about them. But he had a promise to keep and he wasn't a man who went back on his word. Garrett decided to follow Varric back to the Hanged Man for now and listen to what else he had to say about an entrance into the Deep Roads.

But he was glad that Anders had offered to come with him. His healing abilities were nothing like Garrett had ever seen. He couldn't use healing magic and Bethany could only do so much. He just hoped that one day the templars wouldn't come for them especially his sister and Anders. He couldn't bear the thought of Bethany or Anders locked away in the Gallows when all they did was try to help people.

Garrett and Varric walked through Lowtown, passing through the crowds of Fereldens who had been forced into this part of the city when they tried to escape the Blight. Garrett hated how his countrymen were being treated but if there was one thing he learned from the smugglers it was that he needed to look out for his family first.

Lowtown was a rundown slum not far from the docks and the smell of fresh fish and smoke was constant. Gamlen lived in a hovel not far from the Hanged Man and the pub was Garrett's favourite hangout when he wasn't working. Varric mentioned that he had a room here and upon entering the place the dwarf took Garrett upstairs to his surprisingly stylish room.

"You live here?" Garrett examined the room with interest.

"It's homely." Varric shrugged then sat behind the single table in the room. "Besides I like being here. The crowd always enjoy a good story."

"You tell stories?" Garrett raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you one. So like I was saying the coin won't be hard to get but we do need an entrance into the Deep Roads." Varric placed his hands on the table. "And I think we might have a way in."

"Is the information good?" Garrett sat at the opposite end of the table.

"Information is my business Hawke. It's good." Varric assured him. "But there's a problem..."

"There always is." The mage sighed but he waited for the dwarf to continue.

"My sources tell me that a Grey Warden has been in the city for a while." Varric rested his chin on his intertwined fingers. "But they're too scared to go within 20 feet of him."

"Can't say I blame them." Garrett answered. The last thing he wanted to do was get tangled up with a Warden.

"That's not all. They tell me this Warden isn't exactly the poster boy for paragons of virtue." Varric motioned for a waitress to bring him a drink. "But he's been seen at night usually down by the docks or in Lowtown when the gangs come out to play."

"Is he involved with the gangs?" Garrett leaned back in his chair.

"He's not so much involved as he is cutting them into pieces and shipping them off to the templars." Varric finished his drink. "If those guys haven't been making this shit up then the Warden is taking out templars, gangs or anyone else he finds."

"I can understand why you're men are afraid of him." Garrett winced. He had heard tales of the Grey Wardens as a child but he didn't picture them as the serial killer sort. "But if it's true why is he doing this?"

"We're gonna ask him." Varric grinned.

"I'm sorry, what?" Garrett almost choked on his drink.

"Look, if he knows where to find maps into the Deep Roads then it's worth following the lead." Varric pointed out.

"And if he doesn't have the maps we'll probably end up chopped into pieces with the rats eating us." Garrett really didn't like this idea of confronting a Warden.

"Well I don't have any other leads about finding another entrance. We can always rely on dumb luck." Varric wasn't that keen on going after a Warden but his sources had never let him down yet.

"Wardens kill darkspawn for a living. What if he isn't in a talking mood?" Garrett asked. But if the maps could lead them to an entrance and help them get out again then it was Garrett's only real option. "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to bring some backup."

"Ok then we'll play it safe." Varric held up his hands. "If you want safety in numbers then bring someone with us tonight."

"I'll ask a friend." The mage replied. He hated bringing Anders into this but he couldn't ask his siblings and then his mother would find out...Maker he wanted to avoid _that _conversation.

"Alright, you go see your friend and we'll meet back here at sundown." Varric suggested.

"Sounds like a plan." Garrett finished his drink then left the Hanged Man.

He immediately made his way back towards Darktown. Anders seemed to have decent knowledge about Grey Wardens from the stories he told Garrett over the past year. Anders made it seem like he got around in Ferelden whenever he managed to break out of the Tower. Personally the Wardens always gave Garrett the chills.

Men and women who lived to kill and hunt the darkspawn had to be fierce and merciless warriors. He had seen the horrors of the darkspawn firsthand. Their faces were the stuff of nightmares. The terrible sound of their screams still haunted him. He had to wonder what the Wardens were really like if they existed solely to hunt and kill those things.

Garrett walked past the people wandering along the alleys of Darktown. He knew some of them and often handed out what silver he could spare to help them feed their families. Compared to the people down here his family had it easy in Lowtown. But at least these people had Anders to rely on.

He was a truly gentle soul that never asked for anything in return. Garrett didn't want to take advantage of that kindness but he still had to ask him for help tonight. The mage jogged up the wooden steps towards Anders' clinic when he heard angry voices coming from inside.

"Answer the question mage!" a woman bellowed. "Where is Hawke?"

"I told you I don't know where he is now get out!" Anders sounded incredibly angry.

"You will not speak to me like that mage." Another man's voice snarled in utter rage. "You will tell me where Hawke is or I'll take you to the Gallows."

"These people need a healer, someone who gives a shit about them." Anders spat out. "I won't ask you to leave again."

"Hawke has been seen at this clinic recently. In fact he comes here every week. Are apostates so desperate for companionship?" The woman sounded smug. "Refusing to stab your lover in the back?"

"Don't presume anything about me." Anders' voice sounded so cold it made Hawke shudder. Garrett gripped his staff and narrowed his eyes. He wouldn't let these people take Anders away.

"If you know he comes here then you've been watching him." Anders' footsteps were heavy as he walked. "He hasn't done anything wrong! Just leave him alone Cullen."

"There's one way to find him. You're still an apostate." The man hissed and Garret heard the sound of a sword being unsheathed. "Once you're in the Gallows Hawke will hear about it sooner or later. Either come with us now or we go after his family."

"Bastards..." Garrett saw red.

He tore open the wooden door and cast a mind blast spell effectively slamming the templars into the walls nearby. Anders stood there with a stunned expression on his face but he instantly cast Heroic Aura to protect Garrett from an incoming attack. Garrett had always feared that this would happen, he was always afraid that the templars would come after his family and Anders one day.

"You want me well here I am." Garrett glared at the blond templar who was probably the leader.

"Hawke?" the templar spat the name as if it were poison. "You're Hawke?"

"Yes so leave my friend alone." He warned them. There were four templars, two with helmets on, a woman and the man called Cullen.

"Apostate!" the woman was about to charge him when Cullen grabbed her arm. "Captain?"

"The Knight-Commander wants him alive and unharmed." Cullen sneered while the woman looked torn but eventually relented.

"No!" Anders stood in front of Hawke protectively. "You can't take him!"

"He either comes with us or we subdue both of you. Whatever happens Hawke will be brought to the Knight-Commander." Cullen kept his eyes on Anders as he spoke.

"Why does she want me?" Hawke asked but Anders turned and looked at him with near panic in his eyes.

"The woman is insane Garrett. If she could she'd make all of us Tranquil!" Anders didn't understand. This never happened before. Meredith never even talked to Hawke until he became the Champion of Kirkwall. Something had gone horribly wrong.

"How dare you speak of the commander like that you filth!" the woman screamed.

"She has a job opportunity for you." Cullen broke in before blood was spilled. Both Anders and Hawke looked surprised. "There's a lunatic on the streets targeting gangs, templars and the guards. The commander wishes to discuss an opportunity to take this person out."

"I don't believe this." Anders could have laughed. "The templars would never ask for a mage's help."

"You'll be on a tight leash." Cullen crossed his arms. "Whoever it is they can fight templars. Some of our best fighters have been taken out. We can't lose any more people."

"If Meredith wants my help what do I get in return?" Hawke wondered if maybe the person they mentioned was the Warden he was after. Varric did mention that he had killed gangs and templars during the night.

"I don't know all the details mage." Cullen sneered. "You'll have to ask her yourself."

"Garrett!" Anders grabbed his arms. "You can't trust them."

"I can't let them go after my family." The taller man replied. "And I won't let them take you."

"So what is your answer?" Cullen asked.

"I've been running from the templars all my life." Garrett stood his ground. "You can't expect me to come with you just on your word."

"You really don't have any choice Hawke." Cullen answered him. The woman and other templars were now drawing up their weapons. "Come with us now."

"Garrett..." Anders felt as if his heart were about to burst open. This wasn't right! He couldn't lose Garrett, not now, not when he was still working out how to love him again the way he deserved. "I'll go with you."

"No..." Garrett wasn't going to put Anders in danger like that, not ever.

"You didn't grow up around templars Garrett. You didn't see their cruelty." Anders' eyes became haunted and that sadness came back. "Please don't go."

"I'll be fine." Garrett assured him. He turned his now hard gaze upon Cullen. "It's not like I have a choice about it now."

Anders felt like the world was unravelling around him. What was Meredith up to? What could she possibly want with Hawke now? Whoever this person was he had to be truly terrible for the templars to acquire a mage to do their dirty work. Something else had changed when Anders had made his choice to change his past.

Maybe if he found this person the templars wanted he would find out what else had changed. He didn't want to risk calling upon Faith. He didn't want to go back to the other world, not when things were going so well here. The mage hardened his resolve then faced the templars.

He would find out what Meredith wanted.

"Then I'm coming with you."


	8. Not Like Before

**Chapter Eight**

**Not Like Before **

_**Vengeance will always be inside me. – Anders**_

Garrett Hawke wasn't exactly what she expected in an apostate.

He stood with an almost regal air, as if he were above anything petty around him but there was a cold resolve in his eyes that did not escape Meredith's notice. He had the strong features of a Ferelden. Cullen was standing next to the Ferelden mage, his hand on the hilt of his blade. Meredith just stood behind her desk as she examined the two mages brought before her.

Hawke was waiting to hear what she had to say but it was the other mage that needed to be watched. He was glaring at her with total hatred and his fists were clenched at his sides. Meredith simply turned her attention away from him. No doubt he was here to keep his...friend safe from harm.

"Let me get straight to the point." Meredith sat behind her desk. "There is a madman plaguing the streets and I want him brought to me."

"I heard as much from your captain." Hawke crossed his arms defensively. "But why do you want me?"

"The templars have eyes everywhere in the city." Meredith replied. "And you are the kind of man who can get the job done."

"Working for smugglers is one thing but you're the Knight-Commander." Hawke shifted on his feet. "You're the reason my family always had to run."

"You are an apostate." Meredith cut in swiftly. "You belong in the Circle where you cannot hurt innocent people."

"And your templars are totally blameless?" the other mage sneered harshly.

"Anders..." Hawke murmured. He didn't want to risk him getting sent into the Gallows. "Tell me what the deal is."

"If you can deliver the vigilante to me then your friend can stay at his clinic in Darktown." Meredith slowly stood up and approached the mages. "And your family will remain where they are."

"Why should I believe you?" Hawke muttered. There was no way the Knight-Commander would grant a mage and his family freedom.

"Kirkwall is under a lot of pressure from the King of Ferelden." Meredith had a flash of hatred in her eyes when she mentioned the king. "He wants the Ferelden mages to be treated like the other refugees which mean to grant them their freedom."

"The king granted that?" Anders frowned.

"He is a Grey Warden, the friend of the Hero of Ferelden." The blond woman replied. "He may be the king but he has no authority here."

"So why appease him?" Hawke asked.

"We cannot take in any more refugees and we need to give the Fereldens a chance to go home." Meredith got to the point. "The king and the Hero saved the Ferelden Circle during the Blight. It seems they became sympathetic to the mages."

Anders felt a swell of pride for his former commander when she said that. Theron had always been kind to mages, the ones who only wanted to be happy and free from the oppression of the templars. He was harsh against blood mages and unforgiving in his judgement.

Theron had always been kind to him, ready to listen and defend him when he needed it most. He suddenly had an image in his head of Theron stabbing Meredith in the stomach with his sword Starfang. Anders had to bite his tongue to stop snorting. It was nothing short of what she deserved.

"King Alistair has agents here who report back to him concerning the refugees." Meredith said. "But he is still rebuilding his kingdom after the Blight destroyed Denerim. He may not be able to bring his people home yet but he is watching out for them as we speak."

"And you don't want to sever the allegiance the Viscount has with Ferelden." Anders realised.

"Viscount Dumar is the power in this city and whenever he is upset I hear about it." Meredith ignored Anders entirely. "The Viscount wants to make a stronger alliance with the southern continent."

"So I bring in the vigilante and you leave me alone?" Hawke surmised.

"Listen well mage..." Meredith stood inches away from him. "This is the only chance you have at getting out of this building in one piece. Believe me I want nothing more than to put you both in the Gallows but his order comes from the Viscount."

"You told him?" Hawke didn't think Meredith would tell Dumar the time of day.

"He knows about the killings." The commander admitted. "We all agree that this madman needs to be stopped. In fact I have this..."

"A pardon?" Hawke read the letter signed by the Viscount of Kirkwall.

"This must be eating you alive." Anders couldn't help but jibe her. At least the Viscount had some common sense.

"Leave and find the vigilante. You do not get the pardon until you do." Meredith snatched it back. "Now get out."

Hawke and Anders glanced at one another but they left all the same. That had to be one of the most surreal meetings Anders had ever been brought to. Meredith was a cold calculating bitch who deserved to be eaten by demons for all eternity but there she was giving Hawke a pardon if he brought in the vigilante.

Meredith may be the Knight-Commander but even she wouldn't go against the Viscount. When he died at the hands of the Arishok it only solidified her power grip on the city. Kirkwall needed a Viscount to keep her in line and at least Dumar actually liked Hawke once he helped him with Seamus.

"What do you think?" Garrett asked once they were in the Gallows Courtyard. "Did that conversation actually happen?"

"Yes...yes it did." Anders slumped against the wall. "Maker, now I can breathe again."

"At least they didn't throw us into the Gallows." Garrett rubbed Anders' arm. "I guess we should be grateful the Viscount knows about this."

"True but what about the vigilante?" Anders asked him. "If this man is as dangerous as Meredith says then it sounds more like she's sending you on a suicide mission."

"We die taking out a lunatic..." Garrett smirked at the thought. "Meredith would just love that. What's two dead mages to her anyway?"

"I wouldn't be one but surprised if this was her idea." Anders sneered. "The Viscount may want to grant you the pardon but she probably tossed the papers into the fire the second we left her office."

"Then how about we go to Dumar when we find this man." Garrett suggested. He had to be sure if this was the Warden he was looking for. Varric would be an asset once he and Anders went looking for him tonight.

"Not even Meredith would go against the Viscount." The blond mage nodded. "The people love Dumar and she is still only the commander of the templars. Dumar holds the true power here."

"Anders, there's something else I need to tell you." Garrett thought that the mage should at least know why he wanted the vigilante alive once they found him.

"What is it Garrett?" the healer stopped off at one of the stalls to buy some health potions for the clinic.

"I met a dwarf named Varric Tethras. He might have a way for me to join the Deep Roads expedition. He told me that a Grey Warden is in the city." Hawke was browsing through the weapon supplies so he didn't see the colour drain from Anders' face.

"W-What?" he gulped, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Varric told me his sources are good. If it's the same person then I need to be sure." Garrett told him. "I just wanted you to know that. If this is the Warden I need then we'll have to think of a way to ask him about the maps."

"You don't think he'll be in a talking mood?" Anders asked while keeping his panic under check. Who in the Maker's name could it be? As far as he knew the other Wardens were in the Free Marches or within the Deep Roads. "When you get really stubborn he'll end up telling you what you want to know."

"It must be the face." Garrett grinned flashing rows of white teeth. "You won't believe the people who just tell me their darkest secrets. Do I have a trustworthy face?"

"You have…something." Anders murmured as Garrett laughed.

"I told Varric we'd meet him at the Hanged Man. We better get moving if we want to find the Warden." Garrett purchased some health potions and regeneration draughts.

He always like being prepared.

* * *

_**Lowtown**_

Jennis hated walking home at night from Hightown.

One of his regulars had turned up at the last minute and Jennis wasn't exactly in a position to say no to a paying client especially with the madam watching him. But he could never say no to Merrik when he came by. He was a templar but he was a good man. He was the only one who was good to him.

Jennis was a young elf who worked at the Blooming Rose for four years. He had a delicate grace about him that all male elves possessed and he wasn't much of a fighter.

It wouldn't be the first time he got robbed on his way home in Lowtown which was why he always tried to leave the Rose early. Pulling the hood over his chestnut hair the elf quickly moved through the dimply lit alleys and out into the empty market.

His home was near the water's edge and so far he hadn't seen anyone on his trek home tonight. Jennis' emerald eyes widened when he heard heavy footsteps along the stone pathway.

Not taking any chances the elf ducked behind the nearest wall and waited for the footsteps to pass him by. He had gotten good at avoiding the guards and gang members around her over the years. He breathed evenly again when the footsteps faded away and he quickly started running back to his home. The gangs wars had been getting worse lately and more violent. Everyone wanted to stake a claim in Kirkwall by controlling the streets. Jennis could feel sheer relief flood his heart when he spotted his house just up ahead.

"And what is a pretty little thing like you doing out at this hour?" a voice spoke from the darkness.

"Ahh!" Jennis instantly grabbed the dagger he carried with him constantly and he held it out to attack. "Stay away from me!"

"Hey I know him…" Jennis felt ice cold fear settle into his stomach when the small gang stepped out from the shadows around him. "He works at the Blooming Rose. Pricey little whore from what I hear."

"It's the only thing elves are good for." The leader grinned and Jennis gulped frightfully. "So how much did you make tonight?"

"STAY AWAY!" Jennis slashed at the nearest man then hurried and ran past them out into the street.

He was always fast on his feet and his wiry frame allowed him to slip past people especially when he felt threatened. Glancing down at the dagger he noticed there was blood there. He felt good that he had cut one of the bastards at least. He tried to scream when someone grabbed his arms and he was thrown to the ground. The dagger flew from his hands.

"You'll pay for that you little bitch!" Jennis screamed when rough hands grabbed his cloak and tore it off.

"Please let me go!" he sobbed. "I'll give you my money but please don't do this!"

"But this way I get my money and fun." The leader flipped Jennis onto his back and started to tear at his tunic.

"Let him go."

The struggling elf stopped when another person spoke but…there was something very different about this voice. He could make out a shape in the distance but it was too dark to tell who the person was. Did a guard actually give a shit about the welfare of an elf? Jennis felt like praising the Maker right there.

"Who the hell are you?" the gang leader growled but he kept a tight grip on the elf beneath him.

"The last thing you're ever going to see if you don't let him go." The man answered.

"Take him out now!" the man barked to his followers who were now grinning and approaching the single man. Jennis tried to break free but the human was too strong for him.

"I warned you."

It all happened so fast. The mystery man reached to his sides and pulled up twin daggers that reminded Jennis of large silver forks. The terrified elf caught a glimpse of red hair and then his savour moved. Daggers flashed and torn instantly through two of the gang, their blood spraying the stone as they fell to the ground. Two more men fell as the single man lashed out and caught them in the back with ease. Now the leader was up and Jennis scrambled to hide behind some crates nearby.

He felt his breath catch in his throat when he finally got a good look at his rescuer. He had pointed ears that gave away his elf heritage. Along with the strange silver daggers he carried he also wore an outfit made from black leather. The simple tunic was held together at the back with thick silver threads crisscrossing over his spine. He had a red sash tied around his waist and a blue sword was now in his hands while his daggers were put back in the scabbards tied to his legs. But it was his face that stilled Jennis' heart.

Half of it was a perfect beautiful snow sculpture and a large wine coloured eye was visible. But on his left side his face had four horrific gash marks that covered his cheek, neck and vanished into his clothing. The gash marks were large and terrible to look at.

The scars cut deep into his flesh and he looked monstrous because of it. He wore a black patch over his left eye. The human was on his back, his arm slashed open and blood pooling beneath him. Jennis didn't even see the elf take the human out.

"You beat me! You don't need to kill me now!" the human pleaded.

"You attacked that elf and threatened him." The red head snarled and Jennis cowered further behind the crates. "I've seen the coldness of this city, nobody care enough to do anything. But I care and this is another message."

"He's just an elf!" the human screamed. "You're going to kill me over an elf whore?"

"No, this isn't murder…" the red head moved and his blue sword came down upon the human's neck severing the head in one clean blow. "This is justice."

Jennis couldn't even find his voice when the red headed elf reached down and grip the severed head by the hair. He stood there for what seemed like years before he turned and left Lowtown behind leaving only the evidence of his carnage. Jennis very slowly stepped out from behind the crates and stared in horror at the bloodshed that had occurred in front of him.

The elf wanted to go home and forget this night ever happened when he heard footsteps coming from up ahead. Two humans and a dwarf came running down to the docks but stopped at the remains of the gang.

"Maker..." a blond man gasped. The other human was taller had a darker shade for his hair colour and he winced at the corpses.

"Hey, there's someone over there." Varric pointed directly to Jennis.

"Are you ok?" the taller human asked. "Did you see what happened here?"

"Are you hurt? I can heal you." The smaller man offered.

"My name is Hawke. We're looking for someone. We think he's a Grey Warden and we need his help." The human, Hawke, said. "Please, did you see anything?"

"H-He...he killed them..." Jennis whispered as the world began to spin. "He just...killed..."

The elf let out a gasp of breath before his eyes slid shut and he fainted dead away.


	9. He's Not Like The Others

**Chapter Nine**

**He's Not Like The Others**

_**It's a Keeper's job to remember things. Even the bad ones. – Merrill **_

_**Lowtown**_

_**Nightfall **_

It was strange meeting Varric again but Anders welcomed the story telling dwarf the moment he heard him speak. He never admitted it but he always liked listening to Varric tell his tales in the tavern when a crowd gathered to listen. He was a natural storyteller and was truly in his element before a crowd of eager listeners. Anders stayed silent while Hawke and Varric discussed their plan to approach the Warden once they found him.

Anders ordered a drink while he waited but the liquor did nothing to calm his shattered nerves since the meeting with Meredith. This was unfamiliar territory. He felt afloat in an ocean with the sharks circling him. Meredith would never ask for the help of mages but the Viscount could be a reasonable man if only he had gotten rid of Meredith when he had the chance.

Dumar was the only one with the power to kick her out of Kirkwall and there was nothing Meredith could do about it without enraging the people.

The only serial killer Anders knew about in Kirkwall was the madman who tried to resurrect his dead wife by stitching pieces of women together. Anders would never forget that night. Leandra Hawke's head had been severed from her body and stitched onto the corpse. He could do nothing for her because of the blood magic being used to keep her alive. She had died in her son's arms with a smile on her face, happy to see her beloved child one more time.

Garrett had been inconsolable for weeks afterwards. He would lock himself away in his mansion and drink until he passed out. It was the first time any of them had seen the normally sarcastic man so broken. But none of them expected him to just bounce back from losing his mother like that.

Eventually he got back on his feet but he was never the same afterwards. His greatest fear of ending up alone was becoming a terrifying reality. He had even said so when he refused to kill Anders the night the world fell apart around him.

For all his strength and power Garrett Hawke was terrified of being alone. Most people would see friendship and companions as a weakness but not Hawke, never him. He would play cards with Isabel and always lose to the pirate much to her pleasure and enjoyment. Garrett often invited everyone to his place for dinner or to just talk to them. To lose his own mother in such a horrific way was beyond comprehension. Anders squeezed the cup he was holding.

He had been keeping an ear to the ground for any mention of that sick bastard Quentin but so far there was nothing he could follow up on. He had even gone to the Foundry to investigate the lair but it was empty. Quentin had still to move his horrific creation to the city but the second Anders knew for sure he was here then he would stop the vile bastard before any more innocent women died. He refused to let Leandra and Garrett go through that hell again.

Finishing up his drink the mage joined up with Garrett and Varric just as they were leaving the Hanged Man. Varric had gotten word back from another source about a gang around the docks intimidating people and stealing their valuables. It was their best shot at finding the vigilante.

"So Hawke tells me you're a healer in Darktown." Varric struck up a conversation as they left the tavern.

"That's right." Anders replied. "Someone needs to help those people."

"That's a pretty dangerous line on work blondie." Varric commented and the mage winced in response. Varric was right but those people had nobody else.

"In Darktown those people are forgotten. The templars and guards don't care about them. They need to know they still matter." Anders replied steadily.

"I didn't say it wasn't admirable." Varric said. "Dangerous but admirable."

Garrett let them talk while he walked towards the water's edge of Lowtown. He hoped Varric's sources were reliable and even if they were he either had a lunatic or a Grey Warden to deal with. With his luck it was probably both. The mage stopped when he heard screaming from up ahead.

The darkness was thick tonight and it was hard to make out anything in front of him but he could hear clearly enough that a fight was happening not far from them. Varric and Anders were ready for a fight as they ran after Garrett into the darkened alleyways. The screaming came to a sudden stop and Garrett swallowed thickly. Once they entered a street lined with crates from the recent ships the trio stopped and stared in horror at the sight that greeted them.

There were bodies cut to pieces all across the ground. Blood was smeared on the walls and crates during the attack and there was one corpse whose head had been sliced clean off. Garrett didn't think anyone could have survived an attack as brutal as this.

"Maker..." Anders pressed his hands against his mouth.

"Hey, there's someone over there." Varric caught the movement from near some crates.

Garrett glanced at the person Varric was pointing to. It was a terrified elf who was even now shaking and his face was incredibly pale. He looked young and his chestnut brown hair was barely covering his bright eyes. The poor elf looked scared out of his mind but Garrett needed to know if he had witnessed anything.

"Are you ok?" Garrett asked the elf. "Did you see what happened here?"

"Are you hurt?" Anders was growing concerned when the elf didn't say anything. Maybe he had been injured. "I can heal you."

"My name is Hawke." Garrett opted for the friendly approach. "We're looking for someone. We think he's a Grey Warden and we need his help." Still the elf said nothing. "Please, did you see anything?"

"H-He...he killed them..." the elf whispered out in a strained voice. "He just...killed..."

"Hey!" Anders dove forward and grabbed the elf when he collapsed. Placing him on his back Anders cast a healing spell and looked the elf over for any injuries.

"Poor kid was scared to death." Varric frowned.

"But he saw who did this." Garrett knelt down next to Anders. "We have to know who he saw."

"He has some bruises and cuts but otherwise he's fine. It was the shock." Anders said.

"Get away from him!" an angry voice yelled.

Garrett whipped his head round to see an angry templar running towards them with his sword unsheathed. There was a murderous aura in his eyes and he didn't even seem to notice the bodies littering the street.

"Oh this is fantastic..." Anders scowled angrily. Did Meredith send this man after them?

"Wait, stay calm." Garrett held up his hands, always the diplomat. "We just found him. He fainted when we got here."

"Like I'm going to believe-Jennis!" the templar pushed past Varric and shoved Anders aside when the elf groaned and woke up. "Jennis, are you ok?"

"M-Merrik?" the elf asked groggily. "What happened? Where did he go?"

"What are you talking about?" the templar helped Jennis to his feet.

"He killed all of them!" the elf buried his face against the templar's chest. "He said they needed to pay because they attacked me."

"Who told you that?" Garrett broke in.

"He's scared enough." Merrik snarled at the mage. "Just leave him alone."

"We're looking for the man he saw. Knight-Commander Meredith wanted us to bring in the vigilante attacking gangs on the street." Anders didn't want to waste anymore time.

"I didn't get his name but he was an elf with red hair and a horrible scar on his face. He had this weird blue sword. I never saw a sword like it." Jennis explained once he calmed down.

"Where did he go?" Varric asked.

"He took the severed head and left Lowtown." Jennis murmured. "B-But he did say something strange."

"Strange?" Varric questioned.

"It's just...nobody really cares about elves." Jennis wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "We get attacked or robbed and nobody really cares about it. But that elf said...he said that he wasn't committing murder. He said it was justice."

"Justice?" Merrik squeezed the elf against him. "Whatever his reasons I'm grateful he was here."

"We might still be able to catch him. Meredith said he takes the body parts back to the Gallows at night." Garrett reached into his pocket and handed the elf some potions. "Take these just in case."

"T-Thank you." Jennis took the bottles while Merrik simply looked stunned.

"You better look after your friend." Garrett suggested as he followed after Anders and Varric who were already running towards the bridge into the Gallows.

"Jennis..." Merrik wrapped an arm around the shaking elf.

"I want to go home." Came the small reply.

The templar simply led Jennis back towards his home. He knew that he should go after those three and learned what in the Maker's name was going on...but Jennis looked so pale and scared.

"Alright..." Merrik sighed as he took the terrified elf home.

Beneath the blanket of darkness across the city Garrett and his friends ran through the empty streets and into the Gallows. The statue lined square was ever more ominous in the dark and without a soul around. Garrett tightened his grip on his staff when he saw a figure walking past the steps and towards the templar headquarters. There was a bright blue sword strapped to his back and he was holding onto a severed head by the hair.

"Stop!" Garrett ordered which in turn caused the stranger to stop. "We need to talk to you."

"Talk? Not likely." The man answered in a gravelly tone. "Did you find those men? You shouldn't feel bad."

"Are you the one who's been attacking the templars and guards?" Garrett questioned him. "I can understand gang members but why are you attacking templars and guards?"

"Everyone is guilty." The man answered in a frigid voice. "Those gangs attack and rape innocent bystanders. The templars abuse mages. The mages turn to blood magic. The guards stand and do nothing." The stranger turned around and walked towards the trio. "They are all guilty of bringing pain to others. And no one cares."

"Hawke," Varric warned him. The strange became clear now and Hawke immediately noticed the scars on his face.

"Maker no!" Anders gasped out as he fell to his knees. "No! It can't be! This isn't happening!"

"Anders!" Garrett's eyes widened at his friend's reaction. "Anders what's wrong?"

"Not him! Justice, why did you take him?" Anders screamed. The red headed elf cocked his head.

"You know of Justice?"

Theron stared at the strange blond mage. Theron Mahariel, his face torn and disfigured and his eyes wild with power stood there with a severed head and blood coating his skin and clothing. This wasn't right! It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Justice didn't have any reason to find a new host once Anders wasn't there. They had bonded because of their desire to bring justice to the mages. Justice should've been free from the influence of mortal feelings and ambitions.

But Theron was the most selfless person he knew. He had only ever helped people, helped to make their lives better and...and give them justice when no one else would. Anders stared up at the elf with shimmering eyes. Oh Maker, what had he done?

"Anders!" Garret grabbed the mage and shook him. "What's wrong with you?"

"You are the first to mention Justice." Theron cocked his head. "But he is not here. Once I find him he will wish for oblivion."

"W-What?" Anders gulped. He could feel Garrett's hands holding on to him and he felt a little safer.

"Justice..." Theron's eyes hardened with utter rage. "He did this to me. This is his fault."

"What are you talking about?" Anders was beyond confused at this point. "But I thought Justice was part of you."

"Do not speak of things you know nothing of! I would gladly tear the Veil asunder to find him!" Theron snarled, his eyes flashing red and wild as dark energy gathered around his hands. Anders and Garrett could feel the very air around them crackling with immense power.

"Now tell me what you want or leave." Theron unsheathed Starfang and waited for an answer.

"Are you a Grey Warden?" Garrett stood directly in front of the elf.

"Of all the things to ask me that wasn't what I imagined your first question to be." Theron snorted but he didn't lower his sword. "Yes, I used to be a Warden."

"Then you are the one we're after." Varric spoke up. "Listen, before you start spilling more blood we want to ask you something."

"What?" Theron muttered. He stepped forward and examined Garrett intently, his wine eyes glowing with an unnatural energy. "What could you possibly ask me?"

"The Knight-Commander hired me to find you." Garrett didn't want to beat about the bush with this man. "She believes you're responsible for the killings here at night."

"There is truth to what she says." Theron replied.

"Why are you doing this?" Anders asked in a choked voice. "Why are you killing these people?"

"They deserve it." Theron snarled. "I hunt and kill these bastards because no one else will. They hurt others, bring pain and misery and no one holds them accountable."

"But you're taking the law into your own hands." Garrett said.

"And now they fear me enough to send you." Theron smirked while he lowered his sword. "I didn't make enemies like this in Ferelden."

"Meredith will kill him if we hand him over." Anders turned to Garrett. "We can't give him up!"

"Anders you've been acting strange since we met him. What's wrong with you?" Garrett demanded but the blond mage simply turned his face away. "Look, I know you have your secrets and that's fine but you're worrying me."

"It's just..." Anders bit his lip. "You were the Hero of Ferelden. You stopped the Blight. But you're killing people without a second thought here."

"I was a hero..." Theron murmured. His eyes flashed again and a dark look passed his features. "And look where it got me. In Ferelden I saw so much pain and injustice all around me but there wasn't any time to help. And now..." Theron laughed but it was hollow. "Now, this is all I have left. People who hurt others deserve nothing less."

"Meredith won't agree with that." Garrett crossed his arms. "And personally I'd love to piss her off even more."

"She'll send more after me." Theron shrugged. "So what are you going to do about this?"

"Wait!" Anders took a step towards the elf. "I want to know about Justice. I want to know what happened to him."

"Why should you care?" Theron eyes the mage but there was nothing but honesty in his amber gaze. There was something very off about him. "You don't even know me or Justice."

"I..." Anders didn't know what to say without giving away his secrets and looking like a complete lunatic in the process. But this was Theron before him...crackling with an energy he had never felt in his life.

"Look, you're still recognized as the Hero of Ferelden right?" Varric broke the heavy tension. "Not even Meredith would do anything to you here. There's still a lot of Fereldens living here and if their hero were suddenly executed then that might make a few tempers snap."

"Your point?" Theron asked.

"Hawke and I are planning an expedition into the Deep Roads. We need to find a way in." Varric finished.

Theron said nothing but he did look surprised at Varric's explanation. Hawke looked nervous but he held himself up and didn't look away. There was strength in the human and Theron could almost see something of himself there. He used to be like that...

"So you need a guide?" he asked.

"We heard Wardens keep maps on the entrances into the Deep Roads." Varric said.

"I've frequented the Deep Roads since I got here." Theron tossed the head he was carrying to the ground. The thing was beginning to stink. "Always a good fight when I need it."

"So you'll help?" Hawke's eyebrows flew up.

"It's been a while since I've heard anything this strange." He stared at Anders who in turn blushed bright red and looked away. The mage had to be watched. He was hiding something that much was clear. He knew something about Justice.

"Tell me about this expedition."

* * *

I wasn't 100% when i wrote this so i'm not sure if the confrontation between Theron and Hawke came out the way I wanted it to. But i hope you liked it all the same.

Once again big hugs and kisses and free cookies to all my readers and reviewers. you guys really inspire me :)

so what did justice do to theron?

can anders keep his secrets for much longer?

stay tuned for that :)


	10. No More Heroes

**Chapter Ten**

**No More Heroes**

_**You remind me of someone I once knew. – Alistair**_

_**Templar Headquarters**_

Cullen didn't have any words to describe his feelings.

Hawke had been a man of his word and he had found Kirkwall's vigilante. Cullen could not believe his eyes when he saw who was responsible for the horrific murders plaguing the city streets for weeks. Theron Mahariel, slayer of the archdemon stood in Meredith's office with little more than a coy smirk adorning his lips.

For a second Cullen didn't even recognize him. He suddenly recalled the elf who came to the Tower and fought with everything he had to save the mages and the templars ensnared by Uldred and the blood mages.

Theron had never once thought about killing the other mages. He wanted to find a peaceful way to end the conflict and somehow he did. He destroyed the demon and Uldred and saved Irving with the other mages. Theron had gone out of his way to protect them from the Rite of Tranquillity and for a long time Cullen resented him for it. Mages were vicious monsters who needed to be locked away.

But now here he stood, the once gentle elf who helped others when they treated him like garbage. His face was a scarred mess and his one visible eye was hardened and cold. He was leaning against the wall while Meredith and Dumar debated on what to do with him.

Hawke had gotten the Viscount involved with he realised the Hero of Ferelden was the culprit. A smart move and also a very dangerous one. Cullen gulped when Theron suddenly stared at him then grinned. The Knight-Captain still couldn't believe that this was the same elf. Theron had tried to explain his actions but Cullen refused to listen. What right did a Dalish elf have in coming to the Tower and saving mages who weren't worth it? Gregior saw something in the Warden then and he had promised to fight alongside him when the time came.

"He has murdered my men!" Meredith slammed her fist into the desk. "I want justice done!"

"The men I killed had raped and beaten mages and people in Lowtown." Theron answered. He crossed his arms defensively. "Someone had to stop them."

"I would have handled it?" Meredith hissed.

"By doing what? Smacking their wrists and not giving them supper before bedtime?" Theron laughed coldly.

"How dare you speak to me like that." Meredith felt her blood boil.

"Like what? A commander who can't keep control of her men?" Theron rolled his eye. "Or is it you just don't give a shit?"

"Cullen!" Meredith barked. "Arrest him now!"

"Stop it now!" Dumar yelled causing both of them to comply. "Knight-Commander, this is a dangerous situation. We can't do anything rash with him."

"He is a killer!" the blond woman couldn't believe her ears. "He has killed templars and your guards. Will you not do anything about that?"

"I want to see justice done but he is Ferelden's saviour." Dumar said as calmly as he could. "Or do you wish to tell the king we executed him?"

"Ferelden law and politics have no place here." Meredith narrowed her ice cold eyes. "Mahariel will be subjected to our laws and he will pay for his crimes."

"He's still a Grey Warden." Anders said. He had to do something to help Theron. He couldn't let Meredith have him. "Wardens don't answer to you or any king."

"Stay out of this apostate." Meredith snarled.

"I am the Viscount." Dumar's voice was raised. "I will send a letter to the king-"

"No!" Theron's yell caused the people in the room to go silent. "Don't tell Alistair anything."

"Why not?" Hawke asked. "Can't he help you?"

"Not with this..." Theron whispered. He turned his eye to Dumar. "Look, either hand me over to her or make a decision by yourself. I don't care what you decide."

"You should care!" Anders snapped at him. "This is your life."

"Exactly..." Theron waved his hand. Why did this mage care so much anyway? "And I don't care what happens."

Anders gaped at the elf but nothing came out. He had so much he wanted to say and explain. He had never been like this before. Theron had always lived his life the best way he knew how. What happened to him? What did Justice do? This was all wrong and Anders was gripped with panic.

He had thought that once Justice didn't need a host then nothing would happen. He had lived a year of relative bliss in Kirkwall. He had even contacted Karl and after a long series of letters he convinced him to return home to Ferelden. Hawke had his family back and Karl was safe but why did this have to happen?

"Hawke," Dumar stood up straight. "I need to ask a favour of you."

"Whatever I can do to help." Hawke replied.

"You stopped him and brought him in. I will not risk our already fragile relations with Ferelden." Dumar took a breath. "Mahariel can go but he must stay with you."

"What?" Hawke's ears hurt when Meredith let out that yell. "This is an outrage!"

"If he stays within Kirkwall and under Hawke's supervision then we needn't worry about upsetting the Fereldens." Dumar answered.

"But I'm not a noble." Garrett pointed out. "And I think if he wanted to Mahariel could leave whenever he wanted."

"Smart boy." Theron smirked at him.

"But you are a Ferelden and you're making a name here." Dumar said. "More than that Hawke you seem like a good man to me. But if Mahariel steps out of line then he will be brought to the Gallows."

"You can't be serious." Meredith pushed away from the desk. "You're letting him walk free around the city? He is dangerous."

"Only to people who deserve it." Theron placed his hands on the desk. "And if anymore of your men step out of line around me I'll just send the heads back. It takes forever to get the blood off my armour."

"Mahariel!" Dumar snapped. "Either stay with Hawke or go to the Gallows. Make your choice."

"I've got nothing better to do." Theron shrugged. "Besides staying with Hawke might be fun."

"Then you can go." Dumar felt a vicious headache coming on. Once they left her office Meredith turned her rage on the Viscount.

"This is insanity." She walked around the desk. "Mahariel is too dangerous-"

"Exactly." Dumar stopped her. "Mahariel is dangerous and powerful. I have friends in Ferelden, some of whom where in Denerim when the Blight came."

"What are you saying?" Meredith muttered.

"Mahariel killed the archdemon, united Ferelden and ruled Amaranthine at the behest of the king. He stopped the Mother's darkspawn from talking the north coast." Dumar placed his hand on the door but stopped and looked back at the Knight-Commander. "Do you really want someone like that as your enemy?"

Meredith said nothing as Dumar left. She had heard the stories of the Grey Warden who accomplished all those feats but she didn't think someone was truly capable of it. But even she could admit that being in his presence was unsettling. His scars more than told the story of the pain he went through.

"Your orders ma'am?" Cullen asked gently. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of her rage, not after that.

"Watch Hawke..." she said in a voice that was surprisingly calm. "Mahariel is too dangerous to approach."

"And what about Hawke?" Cullen asked.

"Just watch him for now. I will not let Mahariel get away with what he has done." Meredith vowed. "Viscount Dumar may not wish to upset his friendship with Ferelden but I will not let anything harm this city."

"Yes ma'am..." Cullen left the office.

He agreed that Mahariel had to answer for his crimes but he did what he did for a reason. The elf had never once been malicious or hateful towards anyone. Cullen didn't know him that long but he had to believe that a shred of the Warden was still there.

The last thing he wanted to do in this life was take on Theron Mahariel in battle.

* * *

_**Hanged Man**_

_**Three days later**_

Theron downed another whiskey then immediately called for another. If there was one thing he liked about the humans it was their ability to create excellent booze. Isabela had wanted a drinking contest with the elf but he smirked and told he'd never last against him. It had been three days since he met Hawke in the Gallows and the human was already getting everything ready for the Deep Roads expedition.

He still needed a lot more coin but the Viscount had been generous when Theron went to visit him the morning after he killed the gang in Lowtown. Hawke didn't want to risk taking Theron to Meredith, not when the elf could provide a way into the Deep Roads. The red headed elf preferred to remain out of the public's eye and he had succeeded for months but there was something about Hawke that made him take an interest again after so long.

Varric was an elaborate storyteller and the group had met Isabela the day after Theron offered to help. The pirate was being chased by a former partner when she lost a valuable relic along with a ship full of slaves she freed. Theron had been surprised to see the woman he beat in Denerim at cards but she hadn't changed one bit since their last meeting.

And of course there was that bizarre mage Anders. He was a really good healer and his friendship with Garrett made Theron think about what the mages were up to behind closed doors. But then the mage would look at him and a haunted look would cross his face. He didn't know what his problem was but Theron would wait and then he would get the answers from him when he didn't see it coming.

Justice...even now he continued to poison and hurt him. He had thought that leaving Ferelden behind would free him in some way and for a little while he had escaped him. The Spirit hadn't been able to reach him through the Fade.

Just thinking about him filled Theron with bile and a smouldering hatred. He hadn't asked for this. A small part of him knew that Justice was trying to help but to be ripped away from that blissful warmth and happiness...no, he couldn't forgive Justice.

Now he was stuck here with a face people stared at and possessing abilities that would make the First Enchanter insanely jealous. After Justice brought him back Theron was able to use powers that only a mage had access to. He had seen the Keeper use magic very rarely but it never repulsed or frightened him.

The elf looked down at his gloved hand and clenched his fist. It was like there was an energy building up within him and only when he was angry did that energy come blasting out in waves. It was partly for this reason he kept away from people and stayed a loner.

He had left Vigil's Keep behind soon after the incident in the Mother's Lair. He had just gathered what supplies he could and left with only a letter for Nathaniel asking him to be the new Commander of Amaranthine.

Theron wondered how they were all doing now. Vigil's Keep had been saved and Amaranthine stood after the assault by the Children and their Mother. The Grey Wardens were revered again. Theron was snapped from his dark thoughts when he heard Isabela let out a victorious yell. And another poor sod was about to lose all his money and clothes depending on Isabela's mood.

"What the hell?" Theron groused when someone bumped against his back.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The dark haired human moved back. Theron looked him up and down. The human was dressed like a noble with spiky dark hair and bright blue eyes. He looked entirely out of place here.

"It's fine." Theron waved him off. "You here to get piss drunk?"

"N-Not really..." the human stammered. "I-I was just curious...about you."

"Oh?" Theron cocked his eyebrow.

"I overheard my father talking about you. I..." the human suddenly turned red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea."

"What, you wanted to see the hero?" Theron finished his next drink quickly. "Or were you curious about the kind of man who cuts people into bits for shits and giggles?"

"N-No!" the dark haired man yelped but he suddenly looked guilty. "W-Well...maybe I was curious."

"What's your name?" Theron felt a little sorry for the man.

"S-Seamus Dumar." He replied.

"Well Seamus," Theron pushed a cup over to him. "You're in a tavern so drink up."

"Ahh..." Seamus was obviously flustered. "Thank you."

"You don't get out much do you?" Theron grinned as Seamus choked on the drink.

"Is it that obvious?" he groaned.

"Well walking in here looking the way you do...yeah, you're too obvious." Theron motioned for another drink. "Then again you're the Viscount's son."

"Theron?" the elf turned and waved his hand at Hawke. "What are you doing?"

"Making friends." He motioned to Seamus. "But I don't think your father would appreciate you talking to me."

"..." Seamus frowned into his drink.

"Listen, I need to go to Sundermount to repay a favour. There's a Dalish camp there. I was wondering if you'd like to come along." Theron stared up at the mage then laughed a little.

"Dalish camp, huh?" Theron stood up despite feeling a little light headed. "It's probably not even mine."

"The Viscount also wants me to keep an eye on you." Hawke pointed out. "Besides won't you like being around your own people for a little while?"

"You're really persistent." Theron tossed his hands up. "Alright, I'll come with you."

"Let me get Anders from his clinic and we'll go." Hawke called for Varric and they left the tavern again.

"That's my cue." Theron stared at Seamus who was still staring into his drink. "You better head home. Being around this place doesn't suit you."

"Were you really the Hero of Ferelden?" Seamus blurted out. Theron smiled but it was full of sadness that Seamus regretted opening his mouth.

"I guess I was..." Theron ran a hand through his hair. "See you around Seamus."

Seamus watched as the elf left the tavern and he let out the breath he had been holding. When he overheard his father talking about the hero being in Kirkwall his natural curiosity had caused him to seek him out at the Hanged Man. Hawke always came here and Aveline from the guards had been seen around here keeping an eye on the elf. Theron Mahariel wasn't anything like he thought he would be.

Finishing up his drink Seamus left the Hanged Man and began his trek to the Wounded Coast.

He needed to clear his head.


	11. Goodbye Utopia

**Chapter Eleven**

**Goodbye Utopia **

_**Don't dig Mahariel's grave just yet. – Merrill **_

_**Sundermount **_

The Dalish clan hadn't been that hard to find once the group made their way to the mountain just outside Kirkwall. Sundermount was known to be a hunting ground for elves in the past and the templars opted to stay clear of the place. Garrett was a little curious about the mountain and its history but he hoped that Mahariel might find his clan once they reached the Dalish. It had been a nightmare explaining everything to his family. Carver resented the fact that more attention was being brought to them while Bethany was more concerned for her brother's safety.

Leandra wanted to petition the Viscount to find another 'babysitter' for Theron but Garrett refused to he wanted to let the matter go. Theron was turning out to be quite the addition to the team though. While he carried Starfang with him everywhere Theron's weapons of choice were his specially made daggers. He was fast and brutal in his attacks but there was a majestic beauty to him, something primal and enchanting when he moved.

They had been attacked by raiders and wild dogs on the way to the mountain but it had been nothing to worry about once Theron started attacking. Bethany and Carver were sick of being trapped in the city and they demanded that Garrett take them with him to see the Dalish. Garrett honestly couldn't blame them for being frustrated and after promising his mother he would look out for them the Hawke siblings left Kirkwall. Anders came along with them while Varric stayed behind.

He wanted to try and dig up more leads on finding a good entrance into the Deep Roads and Isabela had some contacts in the city already that might be able to help. Anders seemed to be back to normal now or at least he looked fine to Garrett. He hadn't confronted the mage about the thing he said about justice but now was a good a time as any. Theron was walking just a little behind them while Carver and Bethany were just enjoying the freedom of being out of Kirkwall. Aveline had wanted to come with them but mostly to see what Theron would do once he was out of the city walls.

"Anders?" Garrett murmured to the mage. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" the blond sounded better anyway.

"It's about Theron and what you said at the Gallows." Garrett frowned when Anders' gaze became guarded. What was he afraid of? "What did you mean about justice? Justice for what?"

"Oh that..." Anders ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about that."

"I just wanted to know if you're ok. You weren't acting like yourself." Garrett said. "I was worried."

"I appreciate it." Anders smiled sadly. "

"It's just...I knew someone," Anders had to pick his words carefully. "He was a mage and a Spirit of the Fade made him his host."

"A Fade Spirit?" Garrett knew all about abominations but he had never heard of a Spirit taking a host before. He didn't believe it was possible.

"My friend became twisted." Anders said. "Justice was affected by his hatred for the templars and became Vengeance."

"So what does this have to do with Theron?" Garrett didn't really understand what Anders was telling him.

"When I saw his eye glow like that and the way he talked..." Anders stared into Garrett's face, his own marred with pain. "I could only see my friend and what happened to him. Theron is a hero, a symbol to any Ferelden. Some like that shouldn't be corrupted."

"What happened to your friend?" Garrett stepped over some rocks on the road.

"There was nothing left once Vengeance was finished." Anders answered. "He died."

"Anders, I'm so sorry." Garrett felt like an idiot for asking.

"Don't." Anders said forcefully startling Garrett. "He...he wasn't the same man anymore. He'd lost everything. His friends, the man he loved more than life..." Anders bit his lip as the memories came to him, so fresh and raw.

"Anders," Garrett reached out and gripped his hand. "I'm really sorry you went through that. But do you really think Theron's possessed?"

"I honestly don't know." Anders slumped his shoulders. "It just bought back a lot of memories."

"If you ever need to talk I'll listen." Garrett offered him. "I'm always here."

"Careful what you offer." Anders replied with a small genuine smile. "I might take you up on that offer." The mage felt his heart speed up when Garrett blushed and squeezed his hand.

"Garrett!" Bethany ran to her brother causing the two men to look away. "Look what I found."

"Elfroot?" the eldest Hawke took the plant from his sister. "We can make potions with this."

"I can brew up something. We need to save money." Bethany looked pleased with herself. "Anders, can you make potions?"

"Potion making was never my area of expertise." He admitted with a blush. "I have to keep stocking up on them for the clinic."

"You never charge anyone for the potions." Bethany kicked a small stone. "You're a good person Anders. Don't ever doubt that."

"You and Garrett give me too much credit." The blond mage sighed. "I'm not a good man Bethany. I've done things I'm not proud of."

"There's no such thing as an innocent person Anders, not in the age we live in." Bethany said. "The point is you're taking care of people who truly need it. You're doing something good...something I wish I could do."

"You're a good healer Bethany." Anders assured the girl.

"Not nearly as good as you and Carver is always telling me to stay in the house." Bethany sounded resentful. "I hate being locked up in that house. I know he wants to keep me safe but I need to get out once in a while."

"I can understand that." Anders thought about his time in the Circle. "Freedom was all I could think about in Ferelden."

"I know Carver and Mother had to sacrifice a lot for use but I Garrett has been taking care of his since Father died. He does his best but sometimes I don't think Carver believed that." Bethany glanced ahead at her elder brother. "I don't know where we'd be without him."

"He is something." Anders mused and he missed the grin now adorning Bethany's face.

"You should just tell him." she said suddenly. "It's obvious he likes you. Why not take the leap?"

"I-I couldn't do that!" Anders was flustered. "I mean he's always hitting on someone else."

"Only because he's too nervous to ask you." Bethany laughed gently. "Look, Garrett had to move a lot because of the magic and he was always afraid to get attached to anyone."

"That's understandable." the blond mage nodded.

"But there was this one time when he did get too attached." Bethany spoke in a sad tone. "We were living in a village near the north coast. Garrett was 18 at the time and there was this one boy he grew fond of."

"Really?" during their time together Garrett had never once told him this.

"Hadrian was a sweet boy but he never knew Garrett was a mage. They did everything together." Bethany smiled wistfully. "Father was always worried about him. The templars were never far behind no matter how many times we moved."

"I get the feeling this story doesn't have a happy ending." Anders tried to keep his voice light but it came out a pained whisper.

"Garrett wanted to stay. I think he truly loved Hadrian but bandits attacked the village and Garrett ended up using his magic to protect everyone." Bethany looked at her brother as he patted Cerberus' head affectionately. "Hadrian wouldn't understand. He tried to get the templars involved but we were already gone."

"I-I didn't know." Anders stared at Garrett's back. Why hadn't he ever told him about that? Then again Anders had been suffering through mood swings and was wrapped up on how to destroy the Chantry. It was a miracle Garrett stayed with him for as long as he did.

"It broke Garrett's heart." Bethany said. "He thought Hadrian was different. But with you I think he might have a better chance."

"I'm sorry Garrett went through that." Anders said sincerely. "He doesn't deserve that."

"He flirts all the time but Garrett is terrified of being betrayed again. I think that's why he doesn't want to rush into things." The young mage said.

"I'm not a good person Bethany, but I care about your brother." Anders finally admitted which caused the dark haired woman to smile brightly. "He's trying his best to make a better life for you, Carver and your mother. He's something else."

"Anders, if you do care about him then please take it slow." Bethany squeezed his arm. "I couldn't bear it if Garrett got his heart broken again."

Anders swallowed thickly but he managed to nod. Garrett had always seemed so carefree when he flirted with him, like nothing bothered him or got under his skin. He felt sick to his stomach that Garrett had been betrayed like that by someone he loved. Anders knew just how passionate and loyal Garrett could be.

A boiling hot wave of anger swept through him when he thought of Hadrian and what the bastard did to Garrett. He had only ever tried to help people with his magic and he was stabbed in the back for it. Anders felt sick when he recalled Garrett's face the night the Chantry exploded. What must have gone through his mind when Anders did what he did?

"We're almost there I think." Garrett's voice called to them. "I can see another path from here."

"Is this a good idea?" Carver crossed his arms. "We have no idea what the amulet is for. We really don't know what they witch wanted."

"So why come along?" Theron asked the younger brother.

"I needed to get out of that house. There's only so much mouldy cheese I can smell before I think about burning the place down." Carver stretched his arms over his head.

"Your brother seems competent enough." Theron responded. "He reminds me a little of myself."

"Maker..." Carver groaned.

"You don't sound like you get along with him." Theron observed.

"You noticed?" Carver said bitterly. "Even now he's taking the lead and making a name for himself. He should be home out of sight."

"And you really think he'll agree with that?" Theron scoffed. "I've only known him a few days but he's stubborn."

"You don't need to tell me that." Carver groaned. "He's going to bring the templars down on us one of these days."

"Templars aren't so bad." Theron grinned. "Not when they're dead anyway."

"Maker, is there anyone you get along with?" Carver stomped ahead.

Theron smirked as je continued to follow Garrett along the path into Sundermount's grounds. If this was his clan then it would be the first time he saw them since Tamlen was taken by that mirror and he was poisoned. Theron knew that he should feel apprehensive or even nervous but there was nothing.

Like everything since Justice the former Warden-Commander didn't feel connected to anything around him except when he was punishing people who deserved it. Ever since the Mother's Lair it felt like a part of him was missing. There was nothing positive left anymore and he just couldn't care about meeting his clan again. But there was one constant in his life now...his hatred for Justice.

The Spirit had never contacted him in the Fade after what he did. Theron had wanted to find him but unless Justice came to him he would never track him down in the Fade. He was still just a rogue and magic took some time to get used to. The worst part about this was in a way Theron could understand why Justice did what he did.

Now here he was, feeling only half alive and stuck with a babysitter and with a face his own mother would have screamed at. Everything would have been fine if Justice had just left him. He had been at peace, warm and happy and finally resting after saving the world again. He had been so very tired. And to be ripped away from that warmth and happiness had left him cold and detached from the world around him.

"Theron, we're here!" Hawke called to him.

"Fine." Theron muttered but he walked ahead of Hawke and the others anyway.

"Halt!" a voice demanded. Just ahead were two elves with bows. "No shems are permitted here."

"Do I look like a shem to you?" Theron growled.

"Who are you?" the male asked. "Are you another city elf? Did a shem do that to your face?"

"Oh that's a good one." Theron laughed. "And here I thought you at least had some sense among the clan Darel. Or was Tamlen the only sensible one?"

"By the Creators!" the female's hands flew to her face. "I know that voice."

"Wait," the male, Darel, approached Theron and stared into his face for the longest time then disbelief clouded his eyes as he backed away. "Mahariel..."

"Surprise." The elf held up his hands. "Can we go through now?"

"You're back." The female whispered. "We never thought it was possible."

"My friend here needs to see the Keeper." Theron cocked his head in Hawke's direction. "Can you get her?"

"Y-Yes!" the female ran into the camp.

"Is that it?" Bethany asked. She stood alongside Theron. "Is that all you have to say?"

"What should I do? Get drunk, make merry and smile?" Theron crossed his arms. "This isn't my world anymore."

"But this was your home once." Bethany replied. "Aren't you even the slightest bit happy to be back?"

"I can't remember what that feels like." Theron whispered but Bethany heard it all the same.

"The Keeper will see you." The hunter returned and the group moved into the camp while Theron stood rooted outside.

He didn't feel anything being back here. Even the pain of Tamlen's death was just a distant memory now. He saw Hawke in conversation with the Keeper but Theron made no move to approach her. He saw people he grew up with, men and women he knew since childhood but there was nothing akin to happiness at seeing them.

Scowling he stared at his opened hand and watched as black and red energy swirled around his palm and formed into a sphere. Being dragged back from the dead was one thing, but to be brought back with magic was something he doubted even the Keeper would understand.

"Theron," Hawke called him over. The elf quickly called the energy back within him. "We need to take the amulet to the mountain's summit. Do you want to come with us?"

The red headed elf turned his eyes to the mountain and simply stared at it for a few moment.

"Sure." Theron shrugged as he walked towards Hawke and his group.

Right now he had nothing better to do.


	12. Smiling On The Inside

**Chapter Twelve **

**Smiling On The Inside **

_**It never ends. – Fenris **_

_**Sundermount**_

Merrill could think of nothing to say.

She had thought about what she wanted to say to Mahariel if she ever found him but now here he was in front of her and nothing was coming to mind. She had been waiting for this moment for a year, to finally see her friend again but something in his expression stopped her from hugging him like she wanted to and dreamed of doing. He looked like he had been through so much with the scars and the cold look in his one visible eye.

Even the way he was dressed now disturbed her but Merrill put on a brave face and introduced herself to the band of humans and the dwarf the Keeper had sent to her. She had only ever met one human, the Warden Duncan who took Mahariel away from his clan but it wasn't as if he had any other choice in the matter. Garrett Hawke was a nice man from the first impression she got of him. Bethany was curious about the Dalish while the third one, Carver simply looked uncomfortable.

Anders felt his heart constrict when he saw the innocence in Merrill's eyes. She had been so sure that the demon she summoned would have been able to help her bring back a piece of her clan's history. In all the years Anders knew her Merrill never once became a soulless murderer with the blood magic she used. She was a good and innocent woman who didn't deserve what happened to her.

He had been consumed by Vengeance that he never once thought about what she had went through, what she had suffered for entirely selfless reasons. Her clan despised her, the Keeper saw her as a disappointment and it looked like Theron wasn't in a talking mood with anyone in the clan. Anders winced when he saw the indifferent look on the elf's face whenever one of the clan tried to talk to him. He honestly didn't care about being here.

Anders followed Merrill and Garrett up the pathway of the mountain where the cave was located. The blond mage was more than a little worried about the potential meeting with Flemeth. Theron hadn't been here the first time round and neither was Bethany. Being in the presence of the old witch unnerved Anders more than he cared to admit but he had to see this through. The trek up the pathway and into the cave wasn't that bad.

Large spiders and corpses tried to kill them but it was no problem taking them out. Soon they reached the magical barrier separating the group from the ancient shrine. As expected Merrill used her blood magic to destroy the barrier which resulted in Garrett demanding to know what in the Maker's name was she thinking. Bethany had gone pale and Carver looked even more annoyed if that was possible.

Anders was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear Theron step behind him. When a cool hand grabbed his wrist Anders almost let out a scream but he managed to hold it in barely. Theron's single wine eye was narrowed but a tiny smirk played at his lips. He wondered when the mage would want to talk to him.

"Garrett, I'll stay here and watch for way more stragglers." Anders suggested. "There's still dark magic at work here."

"I'll stay with him." Theron offered while Anders gulped loudly.

"Alright, but be careful." Hawke asked then he followed after Merrill towards the altar.

"Something on your mind?" the elf asked. "I know you've been dying to ask me something since we met."

"You're right." Anders nodded but his nervousness wouldn't go away. "It's about Justice."

"What about it?" Theron stood defensively.

"What happened to him?" Anders asked quietly. "What did he do to you?"

"You know..." Theron strode up to the mage causing him to back against the sharp rocky wall behind him. "You're asking a lot of weird questions. Why should you even care about a Fade Spirit this much?"

"I..." Anders stopped. How could he even begin to explain this? "I can't tell you just yet. Please, tell me what happened."

"Justice tried to do a good thing." Theron frowned as he mentioned the Spirit. "He screwed it up and here I am."

"What?" Anders didn't understand what the elf was saying.

"I was in Amaranthine not long ago. I fought a creature that killed me." Theron explained.

"Maker..." Anders was sure his heart has stopped. Theron had been killed? But...but that wasn't possible!

"The Mother was a tough bitch to kill." Theron glided his fingers against the scars on his face. "She left me with a memento though. Long story short the potions weren't enough to save me."

"B-But didn't you have a healer?" Anders felt bile rising in his throat.

"There was a mage with me but she wasn't good with healing spells." The elf didn't look bothered at that. "Justice...I don't know what it was exactly but he saved me."

"So why are you so angry?" Anders asked. "he saved you and you hate him for it? Why?"

"So curious..." Theron leaned in until his breath blew against Anders' face. "Don't you know what curiosity did to the cat?"

"I never liked that saying. I love cats." Anders could have kicked himself after saying that. His former commander was standing too close for comfort and that didn't help matters at all. Theron simply looked amused.

"There's something about you Anders." Theron stared at him. "Something in your eyes...like you've seen things no one else has. You're hiding things."

"Everyone has secrets." Anders snapped back.

"And until I get to know you a little I'm going to keep mine." Theron cocked his head. "But what about Hawke?"

"He has nothing to do with this." Anders narrowed his eyes.

"Now that is a lie." Theron's lips curled into a smile. "What exactly is he to you?"

"That's none of your business." Anders averted his eyes. "And Hawke has nothing to do with me."

"From the moment we met you've wanted to know about Justice and what he did to me." The red headed elf surmised. "It's like you knew even before we met."

"What are you two doing?" Garrett's irritated voice spoke out. Anders praised the Maker for Hawke's arrival.

"Nothing!" Anders shoved past Theron and stalked back down the path.

"I like him." Theron sauntered up to Hawke. "He's feisty."

"Yes he is and now that you know you can stop pestering him." Garrett was practically seething with jealousy.

"Even you have to admit there's something wrong with him." Theron walked past him. "He lies through his teeth. I can see it clearly."

"Did it occur to you that he might have a reason?" Garrett asked angrily.

"True but I couldn't help it." He grinned. "I'm just naturally curious."

"We met with Flemeth. Let's go." Garrett ignored the elf as he followed after Anders.

"Whatever you say boss." Theron walked behind the others whole Merrill kept close to Garrett.

Once they reached the bottom of the mountain the Keeper was there waiting for them and with a request to take Merrill with them. Theron quickly moved away from the Keeper even when she tried to talk to him. The rest of the clan were deathly silent as Theron passed by.

No one approached him while others simply looked stunned at his appearance. Darel was at the entrance to the camp and he silently moved away when Theron walked to the small ruins. He heard Hawke and the others running to catch up while Anders was already outside the camp completely. He sounded like he was out of breath after running down the mountain.

"Once we get back to Kirkwall I'll take you to the alienage." Garrett said to Merrill. "My family lives in Lowtown so if you need someone to talk to you can come see us."

"That's very sweet of you." Merrill smiled shyly.

"Theron, once we get back to the city I want to have a word." Garrett said.

"I need a drink." Theron announced. "We'll talk in the Hanged Man."

"What's wrong brother?" Carver knew something was up whenever Garrett got that look on his face.

"It's probably nothing." Garrett shrugged but he looked worried. "Let's go home."

"Garrett," Anders looked relieved when the mage approached him. "Sorry about going off like that."

"We're heading back to Kirkwall." He said. "We got what we came for."

"What are you staring at?" Theron scowled at Merrill who looked sheepish at being caught.

"It's just…I never thought I'd see you again Mahariel." Merrill said nervously. "But you seem so different."

"Building an army to kill an insane old god will do that to you." The red head ran his fingers against the daggers at his sides. "So what have you been up to? I heard what the Keeper said."

"A lot has changed since you left." Merrill replied. "Not all of it was good."

"And you never came off as this innocent." Theron had been surprised when she used blood magic but he wasn't about to lecture her on the evils of that magic. He knew more than most what you had to resort to when there was no other option.

The group arrived back into the city without any incidents to which Anders was grateful. He couldn't concentrate right now not after what Theron had said to him on the mountain. What could Justice gave done to him? Theron had never been that flippant or detached in all the time Anders knew him.

"I'll take Merrill to the alienage." Carver said once they entered Lowtown.

"You will?" Garrett's eyebrows shot up.

"That's very kind of you Carver." Merrill smiled brightly.

"Thanks Carver." Garrett nodded to his brother. "But why the sudden generosity?"

"You said you needed to talk to Theron. It's already getting dark." Carver pointed out. "Besides I don't feel like going back to that hovel right now."

"Can't say I blame you." Garrett scratched his head. "I'll see you both later. Goodbye Merrill."

"I'll be at the Hanged Man if you need me." Garrett waved to his brother and sister as they headed towards the alienage.

"How was the trip boys?" Isabela greeted them once they entered the tavern. "Find any treasure to plunder?"

"Not today Isabela." Anders remarked.

"Well, care for a game of Wicked Grace?" the pirate suggested with a coy smile.

"Not after last time." Hawke shuddered at the memory.

"So what's on your mind?" Theron ordered whiskey.

"Look, I know I agreed to watch you on the Viscount's behalf but I don't want you making my friends uncomfortable." Garrett glared at him.

"Friends or just that cute mage?" Theron downed his drink.

"Leave him alone Mahariel." Hawke warned him.

"No need to get jealous. He's not my type anyway." Theron waved the man off. "But he is intriguing."

"Anders aside I want you to find a way into the Deep Roads." Garrett changed the topic before his anger got the better of him.

"I don't have any maps for the Free Marches but I'll see what I can do." Theron responded.

"Just like that?" Hawke said with suspicion. "You don't want anything in return?"

"Just take me with you into the Roads once you go. I need a good battle." The elf replied.

"You have a deal. Just find an entrance soon." Hawke crossed his arms. "Whatever spoils we find down there you can have a percentage."

"I'm not going down there for the money." The elf said sharply. "I don't need money."

"Then what are you looking for?" Garrett asked.

"Something to get my blood going again." Theron drank another cup of whiskey. "Thanks for the talk but I really want to drink right now."

"Brother!" Garrett was distracted from the elf with his sister's arrival to the tavern. "A letter came for you from our former employer."

"Now what?" Garrett groaned as he took the letter from Bethany. He had paid off his debt long ago. "She wants me to meet a dwarf at night in Lowtown?"

"Are you going to go?" Bethany asked.

"There's good money here. It might be worth investigating." Garrett replied while Bethany didn't look convinced.

"Oh and Aveline wanted to see you once you have a free moment." Bethany told him.

"Alright…" Garrett was on his way out when he spotted Anders sitting at a table alone, his gaze fixed on the drink he had ordered. "I'll be home soon Beth."

"Oh, hello Garrett." Anders murmured when his friend approached him. "Sorry, I'm just distracted."

"Are you alright Anders? You've been distracted since Mahariel turned up." Garrett hoped that the other mage didn't pick up on the jealous tone in his voice.

"Just seeing him made me think of things, decisions I've made." Anders gripped his cup with both hands. "I wanted to have a normal life s badly but…I never thought this would happen."

"Hey," Garrett reached out and placed his fingers against Anders' hand. "You know you can talk to me. Whatever it is I can help."

"You're so kind." Anders choked out. He hated that he couldn't tell Garrett. He hated not being able to just sit like this with him. "I want to tell you but…but give me time, please? I need to figure some things out first."

"I'll learn your secrets yet." Garrett joked. "I have a trustworthy face after all. The amount of people who tell me their darkest secrets is staggering. The Chantry must be losing business."

"You certainly have something." Anders laughed with him. Being like this felt so natural. Anders felt better, he could breathe a little easier and Garrett was sitting there smiling at him. Just for him.

"But if you need to talk you know where to find me. I'm not going anywhere." Garrett said with a smile. He stood up to leave when he felt warm fingers wrap around his wrist.

"Garrett, do you want to have dinner with me?"


	13. Two Steps Forward

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Two Steps Forward**

_**We can all stand in a circle and hold hands. - Alistair  
**_

Theron groaned thanks to the throbbing in his skull. The bottle of whiskey was empty along with the various cups he had taken that night but still he was conscious. No matter how much he drank Theron just couldn't get piss drunk like a normal person would. The tavern was empty now and the bartender had long ago cut him off. Hawke had left with the mage, both of the blushing like young maidens. Theron scoffed but it wasn't his place to interfere. It wasn't like he even cared about them anyway. The elf stood up and staggered towards the door.

Hawke had offered to let him stay at his place but he doubted the mage would want him turning up like this. Theron felt a little better when the cool night air brushed against his face. He had always loved the night air. It was the only time he felt somewhat at peace now.

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath of the night air. Theron was beginning to feel better when he opened his eyes and he immediately went on guard. He hadn't been in Kirkwall a long time but the city was not prone to thick fog banks. Theron stared as the fog covered the city obscuring everything from view. He had only closed his eyes for a moment, no way could a fog bank settle in this quickly.

He strained to hear anyone else in the thickness but there wasn't a single voice around him. The night shift would be here as the dock workers brought in cargo for the morning market. There was also someone wandering around the city. It was far too quiet and Theron could feel uneasiness settle firmly in his belly.

"What?" Theron frowned when he heard footsteps running away. "Who's there?"

"Poor little elf lost all at sea." A voice sang. "The fog rolls in now."

"I am not in the mood." Theron growled as the footsteps started running away. "Who is that?"

"Follow me into the dark lost little elf." The voice answered airily.

"Wait! Who are you? What's going on?" Theron demanded angrily.

"The fog obscures the truth." The voice answered. "Can you see your way through? Can you reach the truth little elf?"

"Now you're pissing me off." Theron took out his daggers as he took off after the voice.

Whoever owned that voice was going to give him the answers he was after. It sounded like the owner knew about the fog and what was going on around here. Theron ran down the stone steps and onto the pathway along the water's edge. The voice laughed again leading him to the alienage. Theron could make out the large tree in the centre of the alienage but the fog was only getting thicker. The footsteps seemed to be coming from all around him.

"Can you see me?" the voice asked from directly in front of him. "Can you peer into the depths and find me?"

"Alright, I'm not in the mood for your games. Tell me what is going on here?" Theron took a battle stance.

"Fight me if you can." The voice challenged. "But allow me a small moment to grant you something."

"I don't think so." Theron gripped his daggers.

"Hawke seeks fortune for his family does he not?" the voice asked causing Theron to pause. "I know of a way into the Deep Roads, a way that will grant him the fame he seeks."

"How do you know about Hawke?" Theron suddenly felt light headed.

"Tell him about the entrance here." The voice replied.

Before Theron could question him again a sharp pain tore into his skull and drove him to his knees. The red head clamped his fingers into his hair to try and cope with the searing pain while the voice simply hummed nearby. Theron was assaulted with images of a large tunnel leading into the Deep Roads from one specific location outside Kirkwall. The former Warden tried to stand up but it was as if his body refused to budge.

All he knew, all he could think about now was that entrance into the Roads. The fog began to dissipate around him until he could finally see the alienage again. His head was throbbing and his ears could hardly pick up any sound at all. It was like being underwater.

"There's an elf!" someone's voice yelled.

"We need to take him alive." A woman said. "And I wanted to actually fight him. How pathetic."

Theron felt so sluggish and his hands refused to grasp hold of the daggers he had dropped. His vision was blurred and he could taste blood on his lips. Theron realised his nose was bleeding and he could hear swords being unsheathed. Theron planted his hands on the ground and pushed up, his legs shaking with the effort.

The elf breathed harshly as the energy began to gather within him. He needed to get away from here, he had to find Hawke and talk to him. Theron turned around and scowled at the approaching figures.

He clenched his fists as the red and black energy started to burst around his arms and hands. The figures coming towards him began to stop and back away slightly out of fear. Good, let them be afraid. Theron used up all his remaining strength to blast his would be attackers with his magic.

He hardly used this ability because of the templars and mages in the city but using like was as easy as breathing for him. Black energy hit the group of attackers while red lightning tore through their bodies leaving them writhing on the ground in agony. Theron smirked as the screaming of his attackers rang into the night filling him with a sense of satisfaction.

"Get back!" one of the survivors screamed as Theron staggered towards him. "What in the Maker's name is he?"

"Stand your ground!" a man yelled from the steps nearby. "We need to take him alive now!"

"Give up now elf." Theron cocked his head as another group of slavers emerged from an abandoned house.

"Bad move..." Theron growled as he raised his arm and sent a fork of red lightning towards the small group of slavers advancing on him.

"Lieutenant I want everyone else in the clearing now!" the man on the steps ordered.

"C-Captain..." a voice gurgled.

Theron's vision had finally cleared even if the killer headache remained. He watched as a man fell onto his face, blood pouring from the gaping wound in his back. Theron stared openly at the figure descending the steps. Tall, barefoot and long legs caught his attention then he saw a lithe body covered in green and silver armour. Tan skin and white hair stood out in stark contrast and the strangest set of tattoos were visible on the white haired stranger.

"Your men are dead and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can." A voice that sent shivers down Theron's spine.

"You're coming back with me slave." The man grabbed the elf's shoulder. Theron watched in stunned silence as the white haired elf began to glow blue and he shoved his arm directly through the human's chest.

"I am not a slave." The elf growled as he tore his arm free. Theron was met with a cold green gaze that was now observing him with an eerie intensity.

"I think I'm in love." He remarked.

"I saw what you did to them." The white haired elf said. "You used magic but it is not like anything I have seen. What manner of mage are you?"

"Not even a proper introduction?" Theron smirked. This only seemed to anger the other elf.

"Answer my questions mage." He held his greatsword in one hand. The elf was evidently incredibly strong. "Before I put an end to your miserable existence."

"I'd like to see you try it." Theron gripped Starfang and pulled the blade from its scabbard. "But I don't go down easy."

"So I noticed." The elf advanced on Theron. "I wanted Anso to find a good distraction but you proved to be more than capable."

"Anso? What are you talking about?" Theron cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you not Hawke?" the elf asked.

"Not last time I checked. The name's Theron Mahariel." The former Warden said which caused the other elf to stop. "What do you want with Hawke?"

"You know him?" green eyes narrowed.

"I owe him a favour." Theron got ready to attack the moment the other elf made any moves. "How about we put the swords down at talk?"

"Unlikely mage." Green eyes flashed.

"It's Theron and I'm not a mage." The Warden snapped.

"You used magic." His opponent argued. "There is little argument to be had about what you are."

"It's going to take an entire day to explain what I am." Theron decided to play peacemaker for once and he put his blade away. "Look, you came here looking for Hawke. What did you need him for?"

"I wanted a distraction to draw out the hunters after me. When you came to the alienage I assumed you were the man sent to me." The elf answered. "I was given the name Garrett Hawke."

"He really gets around." Theron shook his head. "I'm not your enemy and those people were slavers right? They deserved what they got."

"Hmm..." Fenris didn't take his sword down. "You did kill them easily enough. I've seen Tevinter magic but nothing like yours."

"You don't have to lower the sword but I'll take you to Hawke." Theron offered.

"Why would you do that?" the elf asked cautiously.

"I'm in a nice mood tonight. Just be grateful." Theron crossed his arms. "So what'll it be?"

"Very well. One false move and I'll kill you." The white haired elf muttered. "My name is Fenris."

"That wasn't so hard." Theron remarked as the other elf approached the house the slavers had emerged from. "What are you doing now?"

"There's something I need to check." Fenris didn't bother looking back. "My old master never could stop chasing me."

"Note to self, stop picking up strays." Theron muttered as he followed after the elf.

* * *

_**Lowtown – Night**_

Bethany couldn't stop grinning at her big brother.

When he came back to the house some hours ago he was positively glowing. Even Carver picked up on it and her twin was as sharp as a rose petal when it came to matters of the heart. Garrett had a faint blush to his face but the smile wouldn't leave his lips. If their mother noticed it she didn't say anything while Gamlen spent his time at the Blooming Rose. She was glad that her brother was thinking about his own happiness for a change. Bethany had always watched as Garrett put everything on hold to keep his family safe despite his own status as a mage.

He would sooner die than break his promise to their father and sometimes Bethany wished that he would slow down a little to have his own fun. Garrett was a selfless person by nature but it could also be his greatest fault.

After what happened with Hadrian Bethany was afraid her brother would never open his heart like that again to someone who wasn't family. But from the moment they met there was a spark between Garrett and Anders. The young woman didn't see the harm in fanning the flames a little and she told her twin brother as much.

Carver simply shuddered and told her to leave Garrett alone. Bethany wouldn't be put off though. She had managed to help the family save money especially now that their mother was petitioning the Viscount for the right to buy back their family estate. While Garrett worked jobs for money she and Carver had learned about the family will and had snuck into the estate cellar to find it.

Their mother had been so happy to learn that her own parents had forgiven her long ago for marrying Malcolm Hawke. It meant a lot to Bethany when her mother smiled so serenely like that. Even Carver looked a little happier after finding the will. After a year spent in the city things were finally beginning to look up for everyone.

It was already well after dark but Garrett had received a letter from their old employer and he wanted to put their business to an end before the next day. Bethany and Carver were now accompanying heir older brother into Lowtown to find the dwarf Anso.

It didn't take them long to track him down and he was the most skittish dwarf Bethany had met so far. Varric was simply amused by the entire spectacle. The group were sent to the alienage to find Anso's stolen goods when a rather gruesome sight greeted them upon arrival. Bodies were scattered across the alienage. Some had been sliced up while others looked like they had exploded from within.

"What happened here?" Carver grimaced at the scene.

"Look!" Bethany pointed to two figures emerging from a nearby house. "That's Theron."

"And he's made a friend." Garrett approached them. "Theron, what happened here?"

"Nice to see you too Hawke." The elf greeted with a salute. "This is Fenris. He has some business with you."

"Fenris?" Garrett noticed the elf next to Theron. He was indeed eye catching from his hair to the strange marks on his skin. "I'm sorry but were you looking for me?"

"I was but your...friend here has proven to be adequate." Fenris replied.

"I think you better explain what happened here." Garrett crossed his arms.

"So you need to find your master before he comes after you again?" the Ferelden mage surmised once Fenris told him why he needed a distraction for the slavers.

"I apologize for not telling you my true intentions but I need to find my former master before he leaves the city." Fenris' eyes burned with rage. "He will not stop until he gets his investment back."

"You don't need to explain further. Slavers are the lowest scum. If it means taking more of them out then I'll help you." Garrett declared.

Bethany smiled sadly as her brother offered to help an elf he didn't even know. He couldn't stand to see people suffer or persecuted simply because of their existence. Fenris looked surprised at his readily acceptance of the situation but the white haired elf told him where to go in Hightown during the night. She only hoped her brother wasn't getting into more trouble. Or maybe he just couldn't say no to a pretty face.

"Hawke, when this is over I need to talk to you." Theron said as the group started walking to the bridge. "I think I can help you with that problem of yours."

"Oh...alright. We'll talk tomorrow at the Hanged Man. Come to Varric's room." Garrett answered.

Theron averted his eyes away from Hawke as a look of gratitude swept across the mage's features. He was still immensely troubled by the voice he had heard. And where had that fog bank come from? Theron still felt cold and he absently rubbed his arms to keep warm. The entrance into the Deep Roads had been burned into his mind now and he was possessed with a strong pull to find the entrance now.

He had been the Commander once and he knew that something was incredibly wrong with him. Theron was taken aback when he was filled with a sudden urge to see Alistair again. He wanted to see that carefree smile and hear his jokes. He wanted to see his face and hear Alistair telling him everything would be fine. Theron scowled angrily.

What was wrong with him? He was an idiot for pining away like this for a man he'd never have.

He would go into the Deep Roads and maybe there he would find an end to his miserable existence.

* * *

fenris has arrived :)

the deep roads will be coming up soon and theron has some issues concerning another warden ;)

and who is the voice in the fog? stay tuned wonderful readers.


	14. Blowing In The Wind

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Blowing In The Wind**

_**Do not hesitate to leap. - Flemeth**_

_**Hanged Man**_

Hawke had to wonder what it was that caused him to end up with this many companions.

There was Isabela and Varric who were once again playing Wicked Grace while taking various cups of booze in between games. Merrill had joined them to try and fit in to her new surroundings. She was still incredibly shy about being around so many humans but she managed to not use her magic in public. Bethany liked being around the Dalish elf girl and even Carver started staying around the tavern whenever Merrill came by.

Aveline was busy with the guards after her captain had been stripped of his rank. The red headed warrior often came by whenever she could and Hawke was always glad to see her. Fenris had offered his services to Hawke after the mage helped him to clear our Danarius' old mansion in Hightown. The ex-slave was brutal and single minded in his hatred for mages but he didn't openly attack Hawke. Instead he often got into barbed arguments with Anders while the blond mage simply took it.

Anders was back in his clinic tending to patients leaving Hawke with some time to have a conversation with Theron about the Deep Roads. Garrett felt his heart beat faster and a feeling of giddiness filled him when he thought about the dinner date Anders had planned for them. The trouble in the city was beginning to die down a little giving Garrett and his friends some time to relax and have some fun. The Ferelden mage couldn't wait for tomorrow night and he strongly suspected that his sister had some part to play in this.

Garrett was now drinking in Varric's private room while waiting for Theron to arrive. The Warden had wanted some time to gather supplies and Garrett wanted to show some good faith and let him go without an escort. He hadn't known Theron long but he seemed like a decent man and Anders vouched for him.

Garrett had no doubt that Theron was hiding things but everybody had secrets and the former commander was entitled to his privacy. The elf in question suddenly came into the room just as Garrett's thoughts began to wander back to Anders. Theron sat on the nearest chair and grabbed the bottle of whiskey Varric always kept nearby. Garrett frowned when he took in the rogue's appearance. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked incredibly pale.

Since that night when they met Fenris in Lowtown Theron had regressed and stopped being social. Garrett wanted to broach the subject but he didn't know how without making the elf angry. Instead he sat and waited for Theron to start talking.

"I have a way into the Deep Roads." The red head announced.

"You do?" Garrett's eyes widened. "Do you have a map?"

"It's not on a map." Theron answered as he drank the whiskey. "But I know of an entrance in the Free Marches. Being Warden-Commander has its perks."

"That's great news." Garrett breathed easily. It felt like a weight had been lifted from him now. "I have enough money saved up for the expedition. If all goes well we should be heading out within the next week."

"Fame and fortune at last." Theron smirked.

"Theron, are you sure you want to come?" Garrett asked the elf. "I know you want to find a good fight but I plan on living to tell the tale."

"You don't need to worry." Theron replied. "You'll get out of the Deep Roads in one piece."

"How can you be so sure?" the mage frowned.

"Grey Warden remember?" his one good eye ran over Hawke. "I can sense the darkspawn so if you're going to be eaten you'll be warned about it first."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." Garrett gulped a little. "I fought darkspawn before but Anders told me about the Roads. I don't want to go down there Theron but I don't have any choice."

"You always have a choice Hawke." The elf responded. "Sometimes there are no easy ones. That's the problem."

"And what about you?" Hawke asked. "Do you want to die that badly?"

"No..." the former Warden whispered. "I want to find an answer."

"To what?" Hawke was curious.

"Why I'm here." the elf responded dryly. "Why was I brought back. I did my part you know. I helped to stop the Blight and save Amaranthine. I wanted to rest."

"But you're the Hero of Ferelden." Garrett held his cup with both hands.

"It wasn't just me." Theron snapped harshly. "Leliana, Wynne, Shale, Morrigan, Zevran, Oghren and...and Alistair. They were all there to help me. I have that title because I was the one to put my blade in the archdemon's head."

"So why aren't you with your friends?" Garrett asked.

"None of your business." the elf scowled and Garrett decided to leave the matter alone.

"Hawke!" Varric entered the room just as the silence became too heavy between them. "Have you found any leads into the Roads?"

"Theron found one." Garrett responded. "And he wants to come with us."

"Seriously? Well, not even my brother would have the balls to say no to the Hero of Ferelden." Varric rubbed his hands together. "This will be an adventure worthy of the bards."

"Is he always like this?" Theron scoffed.

"When he has a decent crowd around him then you better run." Garrett laughed in response. "Only last week I mud wrestled a dragon while rescuing a group of maidens from bandits trying to sell them into slavery."

"Maker help us." Theron rubbed his head. "I need to get some supplies. You coming Hawke?"

"Varric, let your brother know we have the money and a way inside. I'll settle everything tomorrow morning." Hawke said and Varric nodded in the affirmative.

"So...who was Alistair?" Garrett was really too curious for his own good.

"What is with you and my private life?" Theron said but it was without any bite. He sounded more amused than anything now.

"Well you sounded sad when you mentioned his name. I know he's Ferelden's new king but who was he to you?" Garrett walked alongside the former Warden.

"He was my best friend." Theron said. "When I was taken from my clan Alistair was the first true friend I made. The burden we were both under brought us close."

"Oh! So were you both...you know?" Garrett made a motion with his hands.

"No...never like that." The elf said sadly. "I would have died so many times without my friends there with me. Despite what you think I miss them."

"I don't doubt that." Garrett meant it. "And I think despite what happened to you they'll want to see you again."

"You're too optimistic." Theron grunted.

Garrett sighed heavily. He wasn't getting anywhere with this. Theron had issues, many of which prevented him from getting into contact with his old friends. They went into the Hightown market in silence and purchased some potions and a new staff for Hawke. He wanted to be fully prepared before his venture into the Deep Roads. He still had to tell his family about it but he didn't know how to bring up the subject when they talked.

He pushed the thought out of his mind. Right now he had a dinner date to plan for and he was going to enjoy himself with Anders. Theron left once he got some more supplies for applying poison to his daggers then he left for the tavern. He wanted to go over the expedition with Varric in more detail.

"Garrett," the mage felt his face heat up when Anders said his name.

"Anders, is everything alright?" Garrett asked as the blond man reached him.

"The patients have stopped coming for the day. I was actually looking for you." Anders smiled shyly. "That is if you're free now."

"For you, absolutely." Garrett smiled as Anders face turned red. "But there's something I want to tell you first. Theron knows a way into the Deep Roads. If everything goes right the expedition will be underway soon."

"Have you told your family?" Anders asked.

"Not yet. I thought about leaving a note but my mother would nail my balls to the wall if I did that." Garrett admitted while Anders burst out laughing.

"Oh Maker! The visual!" Anders was holding his stomach now.

"I like it when you laugh." Garrett murmured as they took the street leading towards the Chantry. "It's like you're whole face lights up."

"Handsome and a flatterer." Anders brushed a lock of hair from his eyes. "How did I get this lucky?"

"The Maker must love you." Garrett teased.

Both mages continued making small talk as they walked out into the Chantry courtyard. Garrett glanced up in time to see some commotion going on at the Chantry board. A man wearing white and gold armour was pinning a letter to the board while a woman wearing the Chantry robes was trying to talk him out of it.

Garret watched the exchange with interest as the man walked off only to fire an arrow back effectively pinning the letter back onto the board after the woman had torn it off. Garrett could make out a distinct accent from the man as he passed him by while carrying his longbow in one hand.

"I wonder who that was." Garrett's eyes followed after the man. "He's cute."

"It's the accent isn't it?" Anders teased while Garrett held up his hands. "You love men with exotic accents."

"I'm a weak, weak man." Garrett moaned dramatically. "But I wonder what that was all about. The Chantry usually let people put up their requests without complaints."

"Let's have a look." Anders suggested. Both mages approached the board and looked for his letter. it wasn't hard to find thanks to the arrow.

"Maker, his family was murdered." Anders read the letter.

The mage watched as Garrett's teeth gritted and a hard glint appeared in his eyes. It had been just like the first time when Garrett looked at Sebastian's request to find his family's killers. Garrett knew the pain of losing family and he wanted Sebastian to find peace.

"The Flint Company...three patrols in and around Kirkwall." Garrett murmured as he read the letter. "He's the only one left..."

Anders wasn't surprised when Hawke said he wanted to help Sebastian Vael with his task. Anders agreed to come along and the two left for Fenris' mansion. Garrett wanted to bring the elf with him on this one to see what else he could do and to give him some freedom outside the city. Varric was also coming along in case they encountered any traps or locked chests.

"I'll just drop these supplies off at the clinic then I'll meet you at the Gallows." Anders had gotten bandages and come cloth for his patients. Some of them had taken to sleeping at the clinic because they were nowhere else to rest peacefully.

"We'll get this done quickly." Garrett said.

Anders smiled then turned and left for Darktown. He had always felt guilty about Sebastian and the line that had been drawn between the archer and Hawke. The Prince of Starkhaven was going to bring an army to find the murderer of the Grand Cleric and Anders knew that Hawke would have been caught right in the middle of the fight.

Sebastian had respected and even liked Hawke but when the mage defended Anders the royal archer couldn't forgive it. Anders had seen how much it had broken Garrett's heart to see Sebastian leave with such anger towards him. This time all that pain could be avoided.

Anders was alone when he reached the clinic. He started sorting out the supplies he bought and placing them in their designated crates to help the patients find things easily. The mage finished quickly and he got ready to meet Garrett at the Gallows. Once the Flint Company was taken care of Anders was taking his fellow apostate out. Bethany had helped to arrange the entire thing with keen enthusiasm. She was such a sweet girl and talented with her magic.

While she could heal Bethany preferred using her destructive magic alongside her big brother. Bethany adored Garrett and wanted nothing more than to see him happy. Anders was hit with a feeling of sadness and regret. He had only hard about Bethany from Garrett but to actually meet her...he could understand why her death had been so very hard to handle.

Anders made sure the crates were laid out with the medical supplies when he heard footsteps running into the clinic. The mage was instantly ready for a fight but he never got a chance to turn around and face his assailant. An arm wrapped around his neck and dragged him to the middle of the room.

Anders dropped his staff when the arm squeezed and started to cut off his breathing. Anders could feel hot breath against his ear then he felt a scream tear from his throat. Metal had sliced into his back, white hot pain tore through his body and blood began to soak his clothing. The dagger was retracted and Anders was released. He crumpled to the floor and fell onto his stomach. He tried to cast a healing spell but he couldn't concentrate because of the agony searing across his back.

"You changed the world once Anders." a voice, so cold and empty of all emotion spoke. "For that you have my thanks."

"G-Garr..." Anders coughed up blood. He couldn't think, couldn't even breathe because of the pain.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Who was that voice? It didn't sound human. He couldn't die here, not when things were finally getting better with Garrett. He wanted to see that beautiful face again. Those unearthly blue eyes and the soft ash blond hair.

Where was Garrett?

Where...?

The memory of Garrett's lips against his own was a comfort as darkness overcame him.

* * *

forgive me Anders! :(

next chapter will be up before my Liar story. i highly doubt you guys want me to leave the cliffhanger like this.

will garrett rescue him in time? who stabbed him?

till next time readers :)


	15. Ripples In A Pond

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Ripples In A Pond**

_**I know how much you sacrificed to keep me safe - Bethany**_

There was something up with Garrett.

For weeks Bethany had noticed that her big brother had changed in his demeanour and not just from having Anders around. She knew when he kept secrets and planned something alone without telling the rest of them. Growing up Garrett got good at keeping secrets but he also became easy to read. Bethany never pressed her brother about his private life but he seemed to be worried about something and it was weighing him down. Even Carver began to notice and he rarely took heed of his elder brother.

The female mage decided to visit Anders and learn if he knew anything about Garrett and what he was so worried about. All his life he had protected his family along with their father Malcolm and Bethany wondered how much of a strain it always put her brother under. Leandra was busy trying to get their family home back and she never had to worry about Garrett's wellbeing. Bethany thought differently.

The young woman was heading into Darktown to find Anders and ask him some questions. Their money problems were finally lessening up but they still didn't have enough to buy a place in Hightown. Carver was beyond irritated with living in Lowtown but he was at least being reasonable about helping out his family. He had even thought about joining the City Guards to help give the family back their lost noble name.

Her twin had decided to come with her into Darktown. Lately the templars had increased their activities in the city and Meredith seemed to be tightening her iron grip on the mages. Carver would do whatever it took to protect his twin sister from the templars and Bethany had gotten a bit more adventurous during her time in Kirkwall. She was tired of always being protected by Garrett and Carver.

"Why exactly are we here again Bethany?" Carver groaned irritably.

"There's something going on with Garrett." She replied evenly. "He won't tell us so I want to ask Anders about it."

"Did it ever occur to you that Garrett wants to keep his secrets?" Carver followed after her.

"Normally I'd agree with you but something has been bothering him for a while." Bethany said.

"And you think Anders can help?" her twin frowned.

"What if Garrett has been telling him things that he can't tell us?" Bethany climbed down the steps into a narrow alleyway. "He needs to talk to somebody."

"He talks to us." Carver muttered.

"Not if what he has to say will worry us." His twin answered. "Garrett has always done whatever he could to give us a better life. He's always been like that Carver."

"You're right." Carver hated to admit it.

"Carver," Bethany stopped in her tracks. "You've noticed it haven't you? Garrett's been working so hard to bring money into the house but I'm worried he'll exhaust himself. And since Theron turned up it's like he's been working even harder."

"He's stubborn." Carver said by way of an explanation. "Garrett's always been like that. If he doesn't want to tell us then he won't."

"But don't you think we should just ask him outright?" Carver suggested.

"And do you honestly believe he'll give us a straight answer?" Bethany asked sceptically.

"Garrett won't like it if he finds out." Carver pointed out.

"He's not going to find out." Bethany smiled.

Her twin realised that there was no reasoning with her and he followed after his sister deeper into Darktown. He hated coming to this place. The last time he dared walk down here was when he helped Bethany enter the Amell family house through the basement to find the will their grandfather had written. Darktown was a terrible place full of people without hope for a future and others who had given up entirely.

Carver didn't want to stay any longer than necessary but he followed after his twin sister towards the clinic. He had to admit that if anyone knew what was going on with Garrett then it would be Anders. Bethany climbed the steps then entered the clinic. Carver almost bumped into his sister when she suddenly stopped.

"Maker!" she gasped as she ran towards a figure lying on the ground. "Anders! Anders, answer me!"

"What happened to him?" Carver stared in horror at the mage lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Oh Maker, he's been stabbed." Bethany's knees were beginning to stain from the blood spread out on the floor.

"Come on Anders, wake up!" Bethany immediately placed her hands against the wound in his back and healing magic glowed from her skin. "Carver, get me some bandages now!"

"Is he alive?" Carver was going through the nearby crates to look for someone that could help.

"He's barely breathing." Bethany choked out. "We need to get Garrett."

"Bethany?" Carver knelt down next to his sister as he pressed the bandage against Anders' wound.

"Go and get Garrett. He said he'll be at the Gallows." Bethany grabbed her brother's arm. "Bring him back now Carver!"

Her twin didn't argue and he ran out of the clinic. He ran back through the alleys and onto the platform that would take him up to the surface. Garrett had wanted to head out to the Wounded Coast today and Carver pumped his arms for speed when he reached Lowtown. He had gotten a good look at Anders.

His skin looked so pale and his lips had lost their colour. His jacket had been soaked in blood. Finally Carver reached the bridge leading into the Gallows Courtyard and he thanked the Maker when he spotted his brother at one of the stalls talking to Varric and Fenris.

"Garrett!" the younger man yelled.

"Carver? What's wrong?" Garrett put down the item he had been inspecting.

"It's Anders. Someone attacked him in his clinic. It's bad Garrett."

Carver watched as his big brother tore back across the Gallows and started running towards Darktown. Varric looked concerned while Fenris simple crossed his arms and looked passive. Carver had only spoken to the elf a few times but frankly he chilled his blood with a single look most times.

Garrett kept running, not caring that he banged into people as he frantically tried to reach Darktown. All he could think about was that someone had attacked Anders, someone had hurt him in his own sanctuary and Garrett's hadn't been there to help him. Panic and anger drove him forward and when he reached the entrance into Darktown he burst into the clinic.

"Thank the Maker." Bethany breathed when her brother came into the clinic. "Garrett, I didn't know who else to ask for."

"What happened?" Garrett took hold of the mage. Bethany had managed to turned him over when she healed the wound as best she could.

"He was stabbed in the back." Bethany's clothing was red with blood now, her legs stained with the crimson liquid. "Garrett..."

"Help me get him onto the bed." Garrett said, his eyes never leaving Anders' pale face.

There was so much blood...it was everywhere. Anders' coat was drenched in it, he felt so light in Garrett's arms as he pulled him up. Garrett barely glimpsed his sister's horrified face. His own robes were probably stained red now.

"A-Alright..." Bethany complied. The last time she heard her brother speak with that voice was when their father died.

"Anders?" Garrett placed a hand on Anders' face and flinched at the chill he felt. "Anders, wake up."

"Garrett, someone did this to him. I'm going to get Aveline." Bethany stared at her big brother, her heart constricting in her chest. She left while she could still hold in the tears.

"Don't do this to me Anders." Garrett whispered once his sister had left. "You can't leave me now."

"Anders, please..." Garrett couldn't say anymore. His throat was in so much pain. He wanted to scream and rage. He wanted to know who would do this to a healer, to Anders.

"Garr..." the blond mage stirred gently and Garrett felt his heart jump.

"I'm here Anders, I'm right here." Garrett squeezed his hand. "Bethany's gone to get help."

"Ahh..." the mage moaned in pain.

"Stay with me Anders." Bright blue eyes flashed with power and fear. "Just stay awake."

"H-Hurts..." the mage breathed out as his eyes fluttered shut.

"Please Maker, please let this work." Garrett whispered harshly.

The mage wasn't a healer. He had always excelled in destructive magic but Bethany had taught him some basic healing spells. Anders felt so cold to the touch. Gathering up all the energy he could Garrett channelled it into Anders' body.

The gentle blue glow of the healing magic felt so warm but Anders didn't stir once. Garrett stopped when his mana starting running out and he needed to rest. Anders was breathing a little better but he had lost so much blood already. Garrett couldn't look at the large pool next to him. Instead he stroked Anders' hair and waited.

"You'll get through this. You still owe me that date, right?" Garrett tried to smile but he couldn't do it anymore.

Why did this happen? Everything had been going so well. Looking at Anders like this, so helpless and cold Garrett was filled with a burning desire to protect him from everything. Along with that protectiveness came white hot rage. He had never hated someone as fiercely as the one who had done this to Anders.

"I swear I'll find out who did this." Garrett promised.

He continued to stroke Anders' soft blond hair even after Bethany came back with Aveline.

* * *

_**Viscount's Keep**_

_**Guard's Barracks**_

She wasn't the captain yet but Aveline was practically treated like one by the men and women at the barracks. With Hawke's help she had brought justice against the corrupt captain Jevan and saved more innocent guards from getting killed. She owed Hawke and she was going to pay him back.

It would be nearly impossible for her to keep this a secret from the templars but she doubted anyone else would try to find the person responsible for the attack on a mage in Darktown. The Viscount knew about Anders thanks to Hawke and he was doing the best he could to keep Meredith out of the picture. Aveline had started her investigation but so far there was nothing solid she could follow up on.

Nobody had seen the attacker enter the clinic and both Bethany and Carver had already given their statements. Hawke didn't want to risk moving Anders because of the wound but the healing magic was beginning to work on him now. Hawke had refused to leave Anders' side in the last two days since he was found.

Aveline was greatly worried for the mage she had befriended in Ferelden. He had always been the strong one, always the one to keep going forward no matter how bad things got. To see him so desolate was disturbing.

"Still no luck huh?" a voice asked.

"Nothing." Aveline slumped in her chair. "I wish I could do more Varric but there's just nothing there to find."

"Yeah and Hawke's been going crazy waiting for news." Varric rubbed his chin. "But on the bright side Anders is coming round."

"How's Hawke holding up?" Aveline asked the dwarf. "Has he been keeping busy?"

"You know Hawke, always there when you need him." Varric replied.

"And what about your expedition?" Aveline questioned him. "Will Hawke still be going?"

"The man's got his mind made up." Varric shrugged. "He still has to break it to the family."

"I'll do what I can to find Anders' attacker but it doesn't look promising." Aveline rubbed her eyes. "Let Hawke know that for me."

"Of course." Varric nodded.

Aveline resumed looking over reports while Varric left the office. He had talked to Bartrand this morning about Hawke's involvement and the dwarf agreed to stall his trip for another day at the most. It was the best Varric was going to get out of him at this time.

Theron was ready to go and he had drawn a map leading to the Deep Roads entrance he talked about. Varric was curious about how the Warden knew about it but Theron wouldn't tell him anything. Pity, now he'll just have to make something up for his stories. But still he hoped that the mage would be alright. Varric hadn't known Anders very long but Varric had grown fond of the man.

"Varric," Theron was waiting for him outside the Keep. "Hawke wants to see you at the clinic."

"Is Blondie alright?" the dwarf asked.

"He's getting better but he won't be walking anytime soon." Theron replied.

"Yeah, getting a knife in the back does that to you." Varric shuddered.

Theron said nothing as he and Varric made the trip back to Darktown. When Theron left Hawke was explaining to his family about the Deep Roads expedition and that he was going there. That was one conversation Theron was glad he missed. As he passed the Chantry board something caught his eye.

He had heard that Hawke planned on helping someone from the board with a request but when Anders was attacked he never got round to it. Varric went on ahead while Theron looked over the request from Sebastian Vael. Hawke had stuck his neck out for the Warden a few times already, maybe he would repay the favour somehow.

"He owes me one after this." Theron looked over the note once more then left for the Wounded Coast.


	16. Bring On The Rain

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Bring On The Rain**

_**You remind me a little of someone I once knew. - Alistair **_

_**Darktown**_

_**Anders' clinic**_

If there was one thing Anders hated it was sitting around helpless while being seen to by others. All his life he had taken care of others or himself and the thought of being utterly helpless was unbearable to him. Bethany often came by to check his wound while Aveline was working on finding the attacker. The blond mage felt his face heat up when Garrett entered the clinic with some food he had bought at the market. Ever since the attack Hawke had been taking care of him in any way he could.

Anders wasn't blind to the anger in the man's eyes but he did whatever he could to let Hawke know that he was fine. But he couldn't deny that being treated like this by Garrett felt good. it made him feel special again. For Garrett he could always make an exception. Anders smiled gently as he remembered a time when he had taken care of Garrett after he defeated the Arishok in single combat. His power had been beautiful and terrible and no one could look away as Hawke waved his spells with grace and deadly accuracy.

Even though he had won the battle the Arishok had left his mark on the Ferelden mage. His ribs had been broken, his nose shattered and he had walked with a limp for days afterwards when the Arishok had sliced his lower leg with the axe he carried. Anders had taken care of him constantly, never once stopping until Hawke was back on his feet and healthy again.

To be the one stuck in a bed while the love of his life took care of him was different but none the less wonderful. Anders didn't feel the peace for long though.

Garrett had told him that the expedition was going within the next day but the dagger wound prevented Anders from coming with them. He knew Hawke and Varric could handle themselves down there and with Theron going they were in no danger of running blindly into any darkspawn. It was the threat of that idol that caused Anders to freeze up in fear. Theron had provided another entrance into the Deep Roads but Anders was afraid that the small chance of finding that chamber still existed.

The loss of blood had left Anders incredibly weak and unable to cast a simple spell. It took all of his energy just to withstand the throbbing pain as his body began the healing process. He was still confined to a bed in his own clinic and attempting to move was too painful.

He prayed to the Maker that Garrett wouldn't take his brother or sister into the Deep Roads with him. As long as Theron was there then he should be safe. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice when Garrett had taken a seat next to his bed.

"Anders?" Garrett squeezed his shoulder gently. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Sorry...I was just thinking." the mage jumped a little. "Garrett, you need to take care of yourself. I'll be fine now."

"But are you in nay pain now?" Hawke asked.

"I'm still a little sore." Anders admitted when he tried to sit up. "You don't have to do this Garrett. I feel fine."

"You lost so much blood Anders." Garrett said sharply. "If Bethany hadn't come here you would have been..."

"Hey," Anders reached up and placed his hand on Garrett's pale cheek. "Garrett, I promise you I feel fine. Bethany saved my life."

"Thank the Maker." Bright blue eyes watered but Garret refused to shed another tear.

"Just promise me you'll be careful." Anders pleaded with him.

"Don't think you're getting out of this date." Garrett joked and his heart fluttered when Anders smiled. "I've waited too long for this."

"You have?" Anders asked softly.

"Yes." The other mage said as his eyes glowed with his inner power. "I've wanted this more than anything."

Anders was sure his face was on fire when Garrett stared at him with such open affection. How could he have missed this the first time around? He and Justice had both been poisoned by their single minded vendetta against the templars that he had missed when Garrett would look at him like this.

"I-I'm sorry..." Garrett stammered when Anders didn't say anything.

"Don't you dare apologize." Anders said fiercely taking Garrett by surprise.

"There's something I want to say Anders..." Garrett lowered his eyes. He looked so haunted when he spoke. "I promise I'll find out who did this to you."

"Aveline is working on that." Anders refused to let Garrett sidetrack himself any longer. "She'll find out who did this. Garrett, you need to help your family first."

"I know but..." the mage knew that Anders was right but he had been attacked. Garrett couldn't just leave Anders alone.

"If it'll make you feel better I'll ask Bethany and Carver to help me here." Anders wanted to put the other man's mind at ease. "Please Garrett, you need to do this for them."

"Alright." The mage breathed out with a heavy sigh. "Varric told me that Bartrand is leaving tomorrow. I need to tell my family tonight."

"I don't envy you." Anders winced.

"I want you to have something." Garrett reached into his robe pocket and the held out his hand to Anders. "I want you to hold onto this. When I come back from the Deep Roads I'll take it back. I'm giving this to you because I'll have to come home for it."

"Garrett..." Anders reached up to take the object Garrett was showing him. Sitting in the palm of his hand was a familiar golden ring.

"It was my father's. I kept it, a good luck charm I guess. But this is my most treasured possession." Garrett handed him the ring. "I'm coming back for this."

"I'll take care of it." Anders whispered fiercely as his fingers closed over the ring.

"I better get going." Garrett went to stand up when Anders suddenly reached out and pulled the mage down to him.

Garrett felt a hot mouth press firmly against his own. His opened his mouth and Anders took the chance to press his tongue against Garrett's. Blue eyes fluttered shut as Garrett placed his hands on Anders' shoulders and pressed him against the bed. Heat spread from his belly as Garrett felt Anders become more aggressive. Finally they pulled apart and Garrett moaned in protest. He felt weak in the knees and his head was light. No kiss had ever left him feeling like this before.

"I didn't want to let you leave without doing that." Anders pressed his forehead against Garrett's. "W-Was it too soon?"

"I've wanted to do that since we first met." Hawke admitted. "The way you looked, the power you have. I've never met anyone like you."

"I'm sorry I never did this sooner." Anders sighed happily when Garrett buried his face against his neck.

"It was worth waiting for." Even though Anders couldn't see it he knew that Garrett's smile was blinding. "You were always worth it."

* * *

It hadn't been difficult for Theron to track down the Flint Company mercenaries and he was now on his way to the Chantry to find Sebastian Vael. The Chantry building was quiet as always, people kneeling in prayer asking for guidance from their Maker.

Theron walked along the red carpeted floor, his one good eye staring up at the statue of Andraste. He had never been religious even among his own people. All he knew was that the Creators were gone and the Maker had gone silent with his own children.

It was never the Maker who intervened and stopped the Blights. Men and women conscripted into a war and a fate they could never escape from were the ones who brought peace back. Sneering at the statue he turned and spotted a man in white and golden armour carrying a bow on his back.

"Are you Sebastian Vael?" Theron approached him.

"Yes?" the brunet asked. "Do I know you?"

"No but those mercenaries are dead." Theron replied as he handed Sebastian the letter. "I hope it gives you some peace of mind."

"Wait!" Sebastian was stunned. "Who are you? Why would you help me?"

"A friend wanted to help you but he got caught up in something. I owed him a favour." Theron explained.

"A friend?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "But who are you?"

"Theron Mahariel." The elf answered. "I need to go."

"But isn't there anything I can do as a thank you?" Sebastian followed the red head. "I can't let you go without some sort of reward."

"I didn't do it for money." Theron didn't glance behind him. "It was just a favour."

"Well who is your friend?" Sebastian asked.

"Garrett Hawke." Theron stopped and glanced at the brunet behind him. "He wanted to help avenge your family I suppose."

"The Grand Cleric was furious when I posted my letter. I honestly didn't think anyone would answer it." Sebastian smiled sadly. "But thank you all the same."

"You're welcome." Theron murmured in response. "They needed to be punished. I've seen enough of their crimes in Ferelden."

"So you're from the southern continent then?" Sebastian asked. "Wait...Mahariel? The Grey Warden Mahariel?"

"Good guess." The elf muttered.

"I've heard tales of the hero being in the city." The archer said. "And you certainly look like you've been through a Blight. I've always wanted to meet a Warden in person."

"Sounds like you're interested in the Wardens." Theron observed.

"I'm sorry." Sebastian smiled sheepishly. "You have things to do I'm sure. Thank you again for what you did."

"Like I said, thank Hawke for that." Theron replied. "Last I heard he was visiting a friend in Darktown."

"Then I hope to see your friend sometime." Sebastian nodded then he returned back to the inner part of the Chantry.

Theron's eyes followed the archer for a few moments then he left the Chantry to find Hawke. With Anders unable to come along they would need to stock up on potions. Bethany was a good healer but nowhere near the level of skill Anders possessed. Still as long as they stayed away from any large groups of darkspawn Hawke and the others would be safe. He met up with Merrill who was on her way into Darktown.

She was a powerful battle mage and Hawke needed someone else there to cast spells in case his mana ran out. Fenris and Varric were coming along too. Theron reached Hightown market when he suddenly felt incredibly dizzy. The elf leaned heavily against one of the walls to clear his head but the pressure in his skull only seemed to increase.

"Ugg..." Theron groaned out.

"Open that eye of yours." a voice whispered in his ear.

Theron stiffened but he opened his good eye and stared in shock at his surroundings. The elf was no longer in the market. Instead he was in a graveyard. Tombstones were laid out in rows on either side of him. An iron gate was at the other end of the graveyard and a large stone door was right next to the stunned elf.

Fog had rolled in across the graveyard he was kneeling in. Icy coldness seeped across his exposed skin and he started rubbing his arms to keep warm. Where was he? Where did that voice come from?

"It's a fitting setting isn't it?" the voice sounded amused. "You should feel right at home."

"Where is this place? What the hell are you?" Theron staggered to his feet.

"This is a place of your own making Theron." the fog swirled and danced around him. "A hell of your own choosing."

"I swear I'm going to kill you." Theron was on his feet now and he drew out his daggers.

"Go into the Deep Roads and bring back the idol." the voice answered. "You're getting so close to the truth now Theron. And that peace you so desperately crave..."

"Come out and face me!" Theron yelled into the thick fog but the voice merely laughed softly.

The elf kept a tight grip on his daggers as he started to walk across the graveyard towards the iron gates. He needed to find a way out of here fast and catch up to whoever was in here with him. The former commander gingerly stepped over the tombstones and he breathed out in relief when he reached the gates. He glanced back to the large stone door.

There was an image of a person etched into the stone with their arms splayed out to either side of the body. It almost looked like the image on the stone was trying to keep something from getting out. Not wanting to spend another second in this place Theron ran through the gates only to be blinded by light.

"Are you alright?" a frantic voice asked him.

"Ahh!" he lunged forward but strong hands gripped his wrists and pinned them.

"Mahariel, stop!" a familiar voice demanded. "It's me, Sebastian!"

"Sebastian?" Theron groaned despite the pain coursing through his head. The man from the Chantry? What was he doing here?

"I was heading into the market. I saw you here." Sebastian explained. "Are you alright?"

"W-What?" Theron was shaky as Sebastian help him up. It was only now he realised that the sun was setting.

"It's dark..." he whispered.

"I went to find Hawke after you left. He's been looking for you all day." Sebastian said.

"Now long has it been since we last talked?" Theron demanded the archer.

"Six hours at most." Sebastian answered with a confused frown marring his features. "Mahariel, are you sure you're alright?"

"No..." the elf choked out. "No, I'm not alright. Something's wrong with me. I-I need to see Hawke."

"Come with me to the Chantry." the archer kept a firm grip on Theron's arms. "You look exhausted. I'll bring Hawke to see you if you want."

"Thank you." Theron allowed the human to take him back to the Chantry.

What had happened to him? Where had those six hours gone to? He couldn't ignore this anymore. He needed help and he could only hope that Hawke would listen to him. He glanced at the archer taking him back to the Chantry. Theron made a note to thank him once he talked to Hawke.

It had been a long time since he felt genuine gratitude for anyone.

* * *

See aren't I nice?

Anders and Garrett are moving along nicely I hope and Sebastian has arrived.

I like his character plus the accent just turns me to jelly.

When I wrote this chapter I was watching videos on YouTube for DA2 and found a video posting of the guy doing M!Hawke's voice recording romance lines for Sebastian. BioWare you bastards! I could've had my rogue m!hawke going after Sebastian :(

Oh man the images I had after hearing that ;)

Well the next chapter is coming soon and we finally enter the Deep Roads.


	17. Staring Death In The Face

**Chapter Seventeen **

**Staring Death In The Face**

_**We cannot choose out fate. We simply are. - Sten **_

_**Hightown**_

The conversation with his family had been a total nightmare. Leandra had ended up in tears while Bethany berated him and Carver was furious about not getting to come along. Garrett had done his best to explain his motivations but they wouldn't hear him out aside from Bethany but only because she wanted to hear his reasoning for doing something so insane. It had taken him all night but he managed to convince them that this was their only chance at getting out of Lowtown permanently.

Leandra didn't want her eldest child going anywhere near the Deep Roads but Garrett had inherited his father's stubborn nature. Leandra refused to let her other children leave, not when she would be worrying about her eldest every day until he returned. Garrett had left his family with a plea to take care of Anders while he was gone. Aveline was still investigating the attack and Bethany wanted to help her. Carver was adamant about coming with Garrett but Leandra had put her foot down about this and refused to let him go too.

Garrett hated having to give Carver anymore reason to resent him but he loved his little brother and sister too much to put them in harm's way. Varric and Fenris were already waiting with Bartrand and the dwarf had run out of patience. Hawke felt tension coil in his stomach along with no small amount of fear. He was heading into a realm were Grey Wardens went to battle darkspawn and were the archdemon's slept.

Theron took a little longer to arrive but when he did he was accompanied along with the archer from before. Hawke recognized him from the argument in front of the Chantry. The mage was surprised indeed to hear about Theron taking care of the man's request. Sebastian had given the mage what money he had as a reward. Garrett didn't want to take the money and instead told Sebastian to donate it to the Chantry for the Ferelden refugees. The archer appeared to be impressed and promised to do so.

When Sebastian left with the promise of meeting again one day Theron approached Garrett with a promise that he would take them into the Roads and keep them away from the darkspawn. The elf looked a little ragged and there was something in his eyes that wasn't there before. Garrett wondered why Theron had been talking to a Chantry priest of all people but the elf had his own reason for doing things. Garrett would wait until Theron wanted to talk to him. Bartrand was more than ready to leave now but he had more than voiced his objections about having a former Warden-Commander leading them into the unknown.

"One thing I always hated about being a Warden is going into the blighted Roads." Theron ran a hand through his hair.

"I have heard tales of the Deep Roads in Tevinter. It is a place even the magisters fear to tread." Fenris commented.

"With good reason." Theron said. "The things down there...darkspawn, monsters, the Broodmothers. Trust me; I hope we don't run into one of those."

"Fenris, are you sure about coming along? You don't have to come." Garrett barely knew the white haired elf and he didn't want to put him in harm's way especially since he was on the run.

"I can either go with you or stay here and wait for Danarius to find me." Fenris snarled out the name. "At least if I die in the Deep Roads I can choose how I die."

"That's...a really morbid way of looking at it." Garrett swallowed. "But I plan on living to tell this tale. Maker knows Varric will just make everything up."

"I'm hurt Hawke." Varric pressed a hand to his chest. The mage simple smiled in response.

"Bartrand isn't happy about you leading the group but I'd rather it be you than him." Varric said. "At least you have the experience. And a really big sword."

"As long as I'm with you then we'll avoid any large scouting parties." Theron explained. "If we're lucky it'll just be large monsters to deal with."

"Alright, enough talking! We've wasted enough time. Let's move out!" Bartrand shoved past them.

"Such a charming fellow your brother." Garrett smirked down at Varric.

"You have no idea Hawke." Varric shook his head then followed after his brother.

"Garrett!" Bethany called to her brother as she ran up the steps from the marketplace. Leandra was following right after her.

"Beth? What's wrong?" his sister threw her arms around her brother and squeezed.

"Come back safe ok?" she pleaded with him. "We can't lose you, not after all this."

"I'll come home Beth. You can't get rid of me that easily." Garrett smiled against his sister's hair. "And tell Carver I'm sorry."

"He's an idiot. I know he wants to help but I wish he'd stop blaming you all the time." Bethany released her brother.

"Be careful Garrett." Leandra stroked her son's cheek. "You're so much like your father right now. You've always had his courage and conviction."

"I'm going to come back mother and we'll have our home again." Garrett promised her. "Take care of yourselves and Anders for me."

Bethany gave him a watery smile while Leandra hugged her daughter. Giving his family one last smile Garrett ran after the others. The group began their trek out of Kirkwall and past Sundermount. According to Theron's information the entrance into the Roads would lie just beyond the mountain and in the heart of a thick marshland.

The journey would take them at least three days to reach the entrance and then another five days going into the Deep Roads. They reached the entrance within the two days Theron predicted and spent the night at a camp. As soon as morning broke the expedition started their long trek into the Deep Roads.

Being down here was just as Theron remembered from his previous excursions into the long abandoned hallways. The tunnels twisted and turned deep into the earth as the feeling of suppression settled across the ancient corridors. For three days the group travelled down the passageways with no sign of any darkspawn.

Giant spiders roamed the hallways but they were easily dispatched. Theron led the group alongside Bartrand who seemed to have a slight inkling about where he was going. After five days of travel the group finally stopped within a dark chamber when the passageway ahead was blocked off. The scouts Bartrand sent ahead could only find another way through but Theron sensed darkspawn ahead.

Garrett let the elf led them deeper into the narrow passages until they reached another large chamber. Here the small group of darkspawn attacked them. Theron moved on instinct, three years of battling the beasts honed him into a killing machine against them. Garrett attacked from a distance with his spells while Varric and Fenris took out the ogre that came along with the small group.

Theron finished the hurlocks off with little effort then he proceeded into a tunnel full of large blue crystals. Garrett kept to the back as they travelled past more chambers and then a large room containing a beast Garrett thought he'd seen the last of.

"Is that a dragon?" Varric's eyes widened. "Existing down here?"

"The Old Gods have slumbered down here for centuries." Fenris charged up his lyrium markings. "Why not dragons?"

"Hawke, distract it while I get behind it." Theron ordered him.

"Right!" Garrett started casting fireball spells at the beast while Varric and Fenris also diverted its attention away from Theron.

The red headed elf managed to get behind the large winged dragon until he started dodging the thrashing tail. Theron put all his strength into his legs as he jumped up onto the dragon's back and stabbed his daggers into the spine. The dragon roared in agony but Theron continued to climb up the dragon using his blades as leverage.

Garrett used Winter's Grasp and he breathed in relief when the dragon froze in place. Theron reached its head and he wrapped his legs around the thick neck then drove his daggers right into the skull. Blood erupted from the wound and the dragon howled as it thrashed its head about wildly trying to get Theron off.

"That was impressive." Fenris shouldered his sword. "Is it a habit of yours to kill dragons?"

"Only the ones that get in my way." Theron shrugged but there was a sense of triumph in his face.

"Well he did kill the archdemon." Garrett took a lyrium potion.

"Let's go back and tell my brother about this." Varric said.

Upon returning to the camp Bartrand was already getting everyone ready to move out again. The news that a new passageway had been opened seemed to renew the spirits of the men and they continued down the hallway.

It took them another day to reach the next chamber and it was here Theron realised that this section of the Deep Roads was entirely different from the ones he had travelled before. The structure and architecture was different and thick veins of lyrium pulsed against the rocks. A large staircase led up to a flat platform against the rock. It looked like the front of a temple.

"What is this place?" Varric looked around the chamber.

"I've never seen anything like it." Theron admitted. The fortresses beneath Orzammar looked nothing like this."

"There are countless thaigs down here. Chances are most of them have been lost all this time." Fenris suggested.

"No, this is something else." Bartrand interrupted them. "If there's one thing I know about dwarves it's that we're steeped in tradition. Even the language is different."

"Then whatever is down here might be worth a fortune." Varric sounded excited. "You might get your family house back yet Hawke."

"I can't sense any darkspawn." Theron walked down the steps. "I'm curious about this place myself."

"Alright, the rest of you stay here." Garrett told the expedition. "We'll make sure the way is clear."

Bartrand didn't bother arguing with that. Garrett followed after Theron as he climbed up the stairs leading onto the platform. There was a small opening in the wall and a pathway stopped at another door. Fenris examined the lyrium growing out of the stones as he passed by. He had never seen so much lyrium in his life not even when he was still a slave in Tevinter. If the magisters ever found out about this place they would strip the place barren. Even the templars would send their own expedition into this place for the raw lyrium.

"Is there no end to this place?" Garrett cursed when they entered another long passageway.

"There's another room down there." Fenris pointed down the hallway.

"More of those symbols..." Theron brushed his fingers against the writing etched within the stone pillars.

"Look here." Varric reached the top of the platform. "What is it?"

"An idol?" Theron cocked an eyebrow.

"It's pure lyrium." Fenris remarked but he was impressed by the idol itself. He had never seen anything like it before. "I wonder who made it."

"Bartrand!" Varric called to his brother. "Look what we found. It has to be worth a fortune."

"Oh it's much more than that." Theron's voice had changed somewhat, becoming deeper.

"Theron?" Garrett turned to the elf.

Fenris, Varric and Garrett immediately drew up their weapons and backed away from the former Warden. Theron raised his head and smiled chillingly at them. His one eye was glowing an unnatural red and the scars on his body also began to glow red. A smile spread across his face as red and black energy crackled around his body.

"What in the Maker's name?" Varric backed away with the idol in his hands.

"That doesn't belong to you." Theron raised a hand and the idol flew out of Varric's grasp.

"Theron, what are you doing?" Garrett yelled at him.

"Hawke, that is not your friend anymore." Fenris snarled.

"So sharp elf." Theron laughed. He glanced down at the idol. "Finally I have what I need to finish my work."

"It can't be..." Garrett refused to believe it. "Theron was possessed?"

"Abomination." Fenris hissed.

"I am not some pathetic little demon seeking a fix." The red eye glowed harshly. "In fact Justice is to thank for my existence."

"The Fade Spirit?" Garrett gripped his staff.

"Bartrand, get everyone away from here now!" Varric screamed when his brother came into the chamber.

"Let him come into this chamber. It's going to be your tomb." Theron laughed.

Gripping the idol which was now glowing intensely he clenched his free hand and charged up the magic he could use. Garrett shoved Varric and Fenris down the steps while Bartrand yelled at his men to back off into the previous chamber. Theron blasted red energy into the ceiling and the chamber began to shake. Garrett narrowly avoided being hit by falling rocks but he managed to get behind the altar where the idol had been placed. The idol was glowing brighter in Theron's grasp.

"Gahh!" Theron cried out as the idol lost is glow. He staggered back, one hand pressed against his head. "W-What happened? What's going on?"

"Theron?" Garrett stood up defensively.

"Hawke?" the elf frowned as he looked around the chamber. "Did you hear that voice?"

"Voice?" Hawke asked. "Theron, you're trying to kill us!"

"What?" the red head sounded genuinely shocked. "No! No, that wasn't me!"

"That's the demon talking." Fenris gripped his sword in both hands. "We can't trust anything he says."

"Hawke listen to me!" Theron pleaded as the idol pulsed with energy again. "It's the idol! He wants the idol!"

"We need to get that idol away from him." Garrett said when Theron fell to his knees as he screamed against whatever was trying to take control of him again. "Whatever that idol is it's affecting Theron like this."

"He needs to die. That thing is no longer your friend." Fenris snarled.

"We're not going to kill him!" Garrett yelled back. "Varric, I'm sorry but we need to take out that idol."

"You don't need to tell me twice." the dwarf readied Bianca.

"Are you insane?" Fenris narrowly dodged falling rocks. "He's trying to kill us. We need to take him out now."

"Gahh!" Garrett screamed as he tossed a fireball at his possessed friend.

Theron flew off his feet and landed on his back, the idol now out of his grasp. He scrambled for the lyrium artefact, his one eye red and ablaze with an inner madness. Varric spotted the idol and he aimed Bianca with precision gained from years of experience. The arrows flew into the idol, lodging the arrowheads deep into the lyrium while Garrett gathered the rest of his magic to fend off a now enraged Theron. He used one of his daggers and stabbed Garrett in the leg.

The mage fell as he cried out in pain while Varric was thrown across the room when Theron used his magic against him. Fenris attacked the elf and managed to slice his arm with the blade he carried. Theron was now armed with his daggers as he lunged at the ex-slave while Garrett limped towards the idol. He grabbed it in his hand and used the last of his magic to create a crushing prison spell.

"Theron!" the mage called to the possessed man who backhanded Fenris across the room.

"No..." his red eye glowed brightly.

"No!" Theron screamed as Garrett simply smirked and crushed the idol in his hand.

The idol had been destroyed, the pieces strewn across the ground and Theron was free of the madness that had gripped him.

Fog swirled around a solitary figure standing in as graveyard, his hands brushing against the large stone door as a happy sigh escaped him. He didn't need the complete idol. All he would need was a single sliver of the lyrium. The whole idol didn't matter to him.

For now Hawke was convinced he had saved Theron Mahariel from a madness brought on by the idol. That lunatic Meredith would never taste the power now. The woman was a menace and unworthy of it. He would need to wait now, ait for Hawke and his friends to trust Theron again. The Warden could no longer hide his own doubts. But waiting was no problem for him.

In all his existence there was one thing he had mastered and that was patience.

Staring up at the door the figure smiled serenely.

"Everything is going according to plan."

* * *

Now the true plot begins to unfold.

Next up Hawke returns to Kirkwall and Theron is forced to confront his own personal demons.

See you all soon dear readers and I hope you enjoyed this :)


	18. A Beautiful Friendship

**Chapter Eighteen**

**A Beautiful Friendship **

**_I knew an Amell once. Never met her like again. - Cullen_  
**

_**Kirkwall**_

It had been almost a month since the expedition had left for the Deep Roads and Anders was about ready to tear his hair out from sheer frustration. Thanks to Bethany's help he had gotten back on his feet after week and he was back working in the clinic. Aveline had never caught the one responsible but Anders was taking extra precautions now. Whenever he was alone in the clinic he cast an Arcane Shield around his body. It would help to lessen any attacks made against him and Bethany said that she felt better knowing he was being careful.

Carver had taken to helping Merrill around the city so she could blend in with the rest of the elves. Anders had decided to keep an eye on Meredith and Orsino now that Hawke had gone into the Roads. He knew without a doubt that Meredith had to go. She would drive the city into the ground with her insanity and vendetta against all mages. But Anders, free of the influence of Vengeance could see that even the mages were a threat to Kirkwall.

He was still haunted by nightmares of the thing Orsino transformed into when he resorted to blood magic for survival. Right now he could only hope that Hawke hadn't found that accursed idol. At least it would buy him some time against Meredith and her fanatical pursuit of the mages. Anders didn't want to think about that right now. He wouldn't become wrapped up in the pursuit of justice or vengeance like before. He had missed out on so much because of it.

It was worth it all to feel Garrett's fingers against his skin and his hot mouth pressing hard against his own lips. Garrett was worth anything in the world. To keep her spirits up Bethany had taken to working at the clinic alongside Anders. She wanted to adapt her healing skills so she would be better suited on a battlefield when her brother needed her there.

She was a bright girl and willing to learn but she did see the necessity of the Circle and the dangers of free mages resorting to madness. Bethany was a kind soul and Anders was glad more than ever that she had been saved. Leandra often came by to talk to Anders but he had a feeling it was more to do with his intentions towards her eldest son. Leandra absolutely refused to believe that Garrett wouldn't make it out of the Roads and she kept her time occupied.

She was a wise lady but carried a deep sadness within her heart. Losing her husband had been a pain she had never gotten over and Anders wouldn't blame her for that. He had felt the agony of losing Garrett once before and the pain had driven him into this second chance. The mage finished taking stock of his inventory when Bethany came into the clinic looking troubled.

"What's wrong Bethany?" Anders placed the quill and parchment down.

"I ran into a lady outside the Chantry. She said her brother has vanished." Bethany leaned against the wall. "The templars are refusing to help her."

"What happened to her brother?" Anders asked.

"He just disappeared. He always wrote to her but the letters stopped coming and Knight-Commander Meredith told the poor girl to stop asking questions." Bethany glared angrily. "How can anyone be told to stop worrying about their own brother?"

"I want to help her find Keran." Bethany crossed her arms. "Garrett would help her if he were here, I know that without a doubt."

"Keran..." Anders murmured then he remembered where he had heard that name before. The poor boy had almost been possessed by a demon summoned by a blood mage in the city.

"I was going to ask Carver and Merrill to come with me." Bethany pushed away from the wall. "I know you have a lot of work to do here Anders."

"Bethany, if you ever need my help just ask." The mage smiled at her. "And I think it'll be good for your brother if you take him with you. It just might remove that stick lodged up his ass."

"Oh Maker!" Bethany burst out laughing. When she stopping her dark eyes took on a saddened look. "I want to make Garrett proud of me, that he did right by protecting us."

"He's always known that Bethany." Anders said gently. "You don't need to prove anything but this girl needs help. If anyone can find her brother it'll be you."

"Thanks Anders." The dark haired woman smiled. "Macha told me to ask some templar recruits in the Gallows about Keran. I'll see you later if I find out anything."

"Be careful." Anders replied as Bethany left the clinic.

Carver and Merrill were easy to locate in Lowtown and after a few minutes of debate Bethany convinced her brother to help her find Keran. Carver voiced his objections all the way to the Gallows but he still agreed to help when Merrill thought it was a good idea.

Bethany had to bite her lip to contain her laughter. Back in Ferelden her brother was often chasing after the pretty tavern girls and he had a reputation for being a heartbreaker. Since meeting Merrill her twin had started following the elf mage around and offered to help her out when she got lost. Bethany took them to the Gallows and found the recruits Macha had mentioned.

It didn't take long for Bethany to get the information she was looking for from the recruits. They were just as concerned about the missing Keran and his friends. Bethany was chilled to the bone when they even suggested that Meredith had something to do with it. The recruits pointed them in the direction of the mountain pathway leading directly out of the city. Bethany followed the path until she came to a small section of land with stone ruins littering the pathway.

Drawing her staff she motioned for Carver and Merrill to follow her as she walked up the slope towards the source of shouting voices. Carver took the lead once they reached the top of the slope. He was the warrior and as such he could take more of a beating in case they got into a fight.

"So help me I will have my answers!" a voice yelled angrily.

"Please ser, please don't hurt me!" a terrified voice pleaded.

"Tell me where Keran is now." The sound of a face being hit rang out. "Tell me or you die here."

"We need to stop this." Bethany got up and charged over the slope.

"Bethany!" Carver cried but his sister refused to listen.

"Are both your siblings like this all the time?" Merrill cocked her head.

"Maker I wish they weren't." Carver groused.

"Hey!" Bethany yelled at the templar standing over the terrified recruit. "Leave him alone right now."

"This is none of your business." The tall blond man snarled. "This is a templar matter."

"So beating this boy senseless is your idea of templar business?" Bethany challenged him.

"I won't tell you again." The blond glared at her. "Leave now!"

"Stupid little human." The templar on the ground was now laughing and on his feet. "You have no idea what you're with dealing. You can never hope to understand magic."

"Maker preserve us." The blond templar raised his shield.

"I knew this was a bad idea." Carver moaned as the templar transformed into an abomination before them.

"Merrill, don't use the blood magic." Bethany hissed to her. Merrill nodded in response moments before the abomination summoned other demons nearby.

"Mages?" the blond man gasped when Bethany used her magic against the demon.

Carver sliced through them with precision while Merrill stuck to using her primal spells. Bethany used her firestorm spell to destroy the less powerful demons while the templar and Carver took out the one who summoned them into existence. The battle was over fairly quickly and Bethany watched as the possessed man died from his wounds.

"I knew it." The templar whispered. "I knew there was something wrong with him."

"If you knew he was a demon the challenging him openly was a stupid idea." Bethany berated the man.

"This was none of your business mage." The man snapped at her.

"I have a name." Bethany narrowed her eyes. "Now that a templar would be interested in a name."

"And now I have two apostates on my hands." The man rubbed his head.

"We're not apostates!" Merrill waved her hands. "W-Well I guess we are but we're here to help."

"Let me start with the pleasantries then. I'm Bethany Hawke." The mage said.

"Hawke?" the templar frowned. "Related to Garrett Hawke?"

"That's our brother." Carver spoke up.

"I've had dealings with your brother before. My name is Cullen." The templar said. "I heard your brother went into the Deep Roads."

"He has." Bethany muttered. "But we heard about the recruits going missing."

"What happened to that man?" Carver for once managed to direct the conversation away from his sister. "Have demons infiltrated the Order?"

"Recruits have been vanishing for some days now." Cullen answered. "I knew there was some sort of dark magic involved but I never imagined demonic possession."

"So your own ranks have been compromised." Bethany found some twisted funny irony in that. "Do you have any leads?"

"Keran and the others were last seen at the Blooming Rose." Cullen answered as his face turned slightly red. "But I haven't had any luck interrogating the young ladies there."

"You can battle demons without a second thought but you turn red at the thought of talking to women?" Bethany stifled a grin.

"Let's go back to Kirkwall." Carver really didn't want to start a fight between the two. "We can ask around the Blooming Rose for you."

"Really?" Cullen didn't look convinced.

"Garrett would help you if he were still here." Bethany said. "And Kirkwall is our home now. We just want to make the city a little safer."

"I can understand that." Cullen amended. "And your brother has helped us in the past. I'll be in the Gallows if you find out anything."

"Well that was certainly new." Bethany watched him walk away.

"You didn't have to goad him." Carver groaned at her.

"But what else are templars good for?" his twin sister replied airily.

"He seemed nice enough for a mage hunter I suppose." Merrill remarked.

"Let's get back to Kirkwall and find the trial." Bethany said.

The trio made their way back to the city for the Blooming Rose establishment. She may not like the templars very much but Bethany didn't want to witness the repercussions if it ever got out that the Order had been infiltrated by demons. Blood magic might be the cause of it though but it would take a lot of power and lyrium to bring a demon into a host especially when the host wasn't a mage. The Blooming Rose turned out to be quite productive.

A young woman named Idunna was the culprit behind the recruit's disappearances and after a sound beating from Bethany the woman confessed about the use of blood magic. Idunna was taken by the templars when Bethany spared her life then she, Carver and Merrill followed the trail to Darktown.

She hoped that Keran was still alive and without any new passengers.

* * *

_**The Deep Roads**_

_**Ancient Thaig **_

Garrett didn't move for the longest time after he destroyed the idol. Fenris and Varric were trying to dig their way out of the chamber but there was too much rubble blocking the way. Theron was slumped heavily against the wall, his breathing erratic and his body was shaking.

Garrett dropped the remaining pieces of the idol then limped over to the elf. Theron was staring straight ahead, his eye widened in total shock. Fenris and Varric stopped their digging but neither approached Garrett as he reached out to touch the red headed elf.

"Theron?" he spoke gently. "Theron, the idol is gone. Talk to me."

"He is gone." Fenris stood next to the elf, his green eyes flashing with anger. "Why do you insist on keeping him alive?"

"Because whatever that was it wasn't Theron." Garrett snapped at the ex-slave. "I can understand your hatred for magic, I really do but he needs our help."

"Why? Because he is the Hero of Ferelden?" Fenris sneered. "Because of him we're trapped in here."

"There's another door over there. If we press on we might find another exit." Varric interrupted. "We can't stay here and wait for Bartrand to dig us out."

"Hawke?" Theron rasped out. The mage glanced down at the elf. "W-What happened? My head hurts..."

"You trapped us in here." Fenris snarled.

"Fenris!" Hawke yelled at him.

"I...I remember..." Theron's one eye became clouded with sadness. "Oh Maker what have I done?"

"Theron we need to get out of here." Hawke pulled the elf to his feet. "Just stay with me until we get out of here."

"What did I do Hawke?" the Warden gasped. "I...I can't remember."

"When you touched the idol it was like you were possessed." Hawke explained as best he could. "That thing did something to you."

"Let's just get out of here." Varric ran to the other doorway.

Fenris was hot on his feels while Theron supported the injured Hawke. His leg was still bleeding despite using health potions. He was incredibly low on magic and his exhaustion was catching up to him already. They entered another tunnel which led into a large chamber occupied by creatures made of stone. Red light glowed from among the stones and rocks and another passageway was illuminated thanks to the red glow.

"Gah!" Garrett cried out when he moved his leg. He fell against Theron.

"Hawke, let me see that." Theron grasped the robes and tore it so he could see the wound. The cut was jagged and large and blood continued to ooze out. "Maker...the acid."

"What acid?" Fenris demanded.

"I coat my daggers in acid and posions. "Makes fighting darkspawn or bandits easier for me."

"And now Hawke is sick because of it." Fenris snarled.

"Just keep moving." Garrett broke in harshly. "I'll use potions when I can. We'll make it out of here."

"But the poison?" Fenris said but Garrett cut him off.

"I'm not going to let a cut finish me." the mage retorted. "Come om, we're wasting time here."

"We'll get home Hawke." Theron glanced at the sick mage. "I promise."

He wouldn't let Hawke die because of him. He wouldn't let a kind soul die in this hellhole. Theron gripped onto Hawke and helped him into the passageway alongside Varric and Fenris. He owed them all an explanation. Someone was depending on him to make it out of here alive. For the first time in what felt like a lifetime Theron felt like the Warden-Commander he used to be.


	19. The Walls That Talk

**Chapter Nineteen**

**The Walls That Talk**

_**Anger will not free us. Revenge will not free us. - Statue of Peace  
**_

_**The Deep Roads**_

_**Ancient Thaig**_

Garrett gritted his teeth against the pain that was coursing through his leg but Theron's help was more than welcome. Fenris and Varric fought their way through the creatures that lived this far below the earth. Bizarre beasts made entirely of rock but were in fact lyrium devouring entities. Varric had thought their existence the stuff of fairytales and bedtime stories. Rock Wraiths they were called but thankfully the beasts could be easily defeated.

Garrett could feel his magic replenishing and he stuck to using basic healing spells to keep the poison from spreading throughout his body. It didn't matter how much magic he used, he could still feel it burning inside him. Theron had explained that the poison he used for his blades had been designed to take down darkspawn almost instantly. Garrett noticed that the wound on his leg had yet to begin closing up and his leg was now caked in his own blood.

The mage limped after Fenris and Varric as they cut a path into the chamber housing many of the Rock Wraiths. It was here the group met a talking one. No matter what it looked like it was still a demon that devoured lyrium and was now attacking any living creature. The Wraith had explained that it would offer them help in exchange for killing something at the end of the next chamber. Garrett could practically sense the demon and just looking at the rock creature gave him a headache.

He refused the offer and Fenris made short work of the rock while Varric ran ahead to check out the chamber. Garrett couldn't help but notice the strange carvings in the pillars but the language wasn't one he recognized. His father had a large collection of books on ancient languages and Garrett had often studied the books growing up. The place reeked of magic but there was nothing here to suggest anyone other than dwarves had ever been down this deep.

Garrett suddenly felt light headed and he slumped against Theron. He was getting worse the longer the poison was in his system and the wound was still bleeding. Theron gulped as he took in the sight of the mage next to him. Garrett was incredibly pale and sickly, his breathing was ragged and he was sweating profusely. The elf had several anti-toxins stored up during his travels but he had never thought to bring any of them with him.

He had never once attacked his own friends and had never seen the need for the anti-toxins but it was at Alistair's insistence that he keep something around to counteract the poison. He knew some of the vendors in Kirkwall who sold the anti-toxin but it was all up to how long Garrett would survive. He was getting weaker every hour.

"Hawke, there's something in here." Varric called back to him.

"Can you see a way out?" Theron kept a tight grip on Garrett's arm.

"I can't tell." Varric replied. "Wait here for a minute. I'll check it out."

"How is he doing?" Fenris knelt down next to Hawke who was finding it harder to stay awake.

"He's getting worse." Theron tore off a piece of Garrett's robes and used it to further bind the wound. "If we don't find a way out of here soon he won't make it."

"Then we'll find a way out." Fenris said firmly. "Just keep him alive."

"Come on Hawke..." Theron growled as he tied the robe around his leg. "This is nothing. You're stronger than this."

"Ahh..." Garrett's head rolled to one side. It was so hard to think, to stay awake. His leg throbbed, his body was on fire and he just wanted to sleep.

"Don't fall asleep on me." Theron slapped his face harshly. The mage gasped in response. "What about Anders? He's waiting for you too."

"A-Anders..." Garrett breathed out the name. His eyes rolled and he collapsed against the rock.

"You can't leave your family like this." Theron grabbed Hawke's face between his hands. "You need to fight it. You promised them you'd come home right? You never break a promise."

"Oh crap!" Varric's yell tore Theron away from the sick mage. "We've got problems here!"

"Well this is new." Fenris stared up at the rocks that were now forming into one giant body.

"Theron we need you over here!" Varric yelled as the giant Rock Wraith still continued to form.

"Alright!" Theron pulled Garrett behind some rocks and shielded him as best he could. "Maker please keep him safe."

The elf now drew out Starfang for the battle, the blue sword resting comfortably in both hands as he stood next to Fenris and Varric. The Rock Wraith had finally stopped building itself and now stood towering above them. Red eyes shone out from the stone head, long arms rested against a body made entirely of rock while a glowing red heart pulsed within the rocks. Theron didn't waste any time and he charged up the magic through his hand and blasted it towards the Wraith. Varric stayed back to fire his arrows into the pulsing heart while Fenris charged directly at the creature, his sword piercing into the rocks with ease.

Theron charged up his magical attacks while slashing at the Wraith's thick legs with Starfang. Pieces of stone flew in all directions but the Wraith jumped into the air and curled into itself. Red energy started to gather around it and an ominous sound gathered around them. Fenris pulled his sword free and motioned for Theron to get behind one of the pillars. Theron's eye widened then he grabbed Varric buy the coat and pulled him behind a pillar nearby.

Red energy erupted from the Wraith and for a moment Theron could sure that he had gone deaf. The pillars shook under the attack and he saw several small Wraiths forming around the larger one. Theron dashed out from the pillar once the attack stopped and he slashed at the small Wraiths. Starfang tore through them until the former Warden reached the Ancient Wraith and he jumped up onto its back thanks to Fenris' distraction.

Varric dodged an incoming projectile and destroyed more small rock creatures thanks to Bianca. He had to see if Hawke was still safe after that blast. Varric found the mage slumped against the ground, his body covered in pieces of stones and dust. He was barely breathing and Varric began to feel panic settle in. He was distracted when Theron yelled at him to move. The dwarf was hit in the back when a Wraith attacked him. Fenris pulled his sword free from the larger Wraith and went to finish off the smaller ones that were now pouring in from the adjoining chamber. Theron concentrated all his power on defeating the Ancient Wraith.

While the trio fought against the possessed beast none of them noticed Hawke began to twitch.

* * *

_**The Fade**_

His body felt light and the pain was gone.

Garrett opened his eyes but he didn't recognize the room he was in. He sat up and glanced down to see a large bed and the bedroom was quite lavish. He had a feeling that he should know where he was but nothing came to him. The last thing he remembered was falling to the ground because of the poison in his body.

Theron got off the bed and walked out into a large garden. His heart lurched when he realised that it was the same garden his father took care of when they lived in a small village when Garrett was still a child. Malcolm would always let Garrett help out when he wanted to plant vegetables for the harvest. The mage frowned as he took in the surreal and unearthly feel to the place.

It was like a soft green mist has settled across his vision. Garrett wrapped his arms around his body as he backed out of the garden. He was in the Fade. Mages entered the Fade through their dreams or during a ritual involving a lot of lyrium. His father had told him about it once his powers began to manifest for the first time. The one thing he always remembered was that this place was the home of demons ad spirits but his will as a person was always his to control. Now he had to figure out how to get back to the world of the living.

"Do not be afraid." A gentle voice spoke behind him.

"Who are you?" the mage demanded.

"I am a Spirit of the Fade. My name is Justice and I need your help." The spirit was dressed in battle armour and he was simply a ghostly visage before Hawke.

"Wait, did you say Justice?" Garrett asked. The spirit took a step forward while Garrett held his ground. "A friend of mine mentioned you."

"You know about Theron Mahariel. You know of his hatred for me." Justice explained.

"Please, what's going on?" Garrett pleaded with the spirit. "I...I think I was injured badly. My head feels light."

"Concentrate Hawke." Justice approached him. "This is the only chance I have to fix my mistake. I need you help to make that better."

"What mistake? I don't understand. Mahariel won't say anything and even Anders is secretive about you." Garrett was frustrated now.

"I know you have questions." Justice raised his hands. "But time is limited. Your friends are battling an Ancient Rock Wraith and the cavern is collapsing as we speak."

"What?" Garrett looked panicked. "Then I have to go back now! I have to help them."

"And you shall but only if you accept my help." Justice answered. "I am sorry but there is no other way."

"What would you have me do?" Hawke asked.

Justice took a moment to just look at the talented mage before him. He was a Fade Spirit, something that existed outside the mortal world and as such was not bound to their perceptions. After the battle with the Mother he had been sent back into the Fade and here he remained as new memories and images came to him. He knew of Anders and the creation of Vengeance, the abomination he had been twisted into.

Trapped within Anders' body had reduced him to little more than a demon taking lives around him. He in turn had corrupted Anders and Justice had never truly understood why the mage had loved Garrett Hawke so passionately.

Now here he stood ready to go back and help his friends against a creature that would surely kill him because of his weakened state. Hawke would never hesitate to put his life on the line for his friends and loved ones. Justice or Vengeance had never wanted to see the man for who he was but Anders saw him and the possessed mage had known one thing about Garrett Hawke. He was the rarest soul in all of Thedas.

He was incorruptible.

"I can help you to awaken but you are near death now and your strength will be all but gone."Justice placed his hands on Garrett's shoulders. "There is one option left for you."

"Tell me." Hawke said with conviction.

* * *

_**Ancient Chamber**_

"Gahh!" Fenris cried out as he was slammed back against the wall.

"I'm running out of arrows here." Varric slammed Bianca against a small Wraith.

Theron had managed to get a grip on the creature's head and was now pushing his sword deep into its skull as the Wraith thrashed around. The elf kept a firm grip but he was beginning to lose his energy. He was worried about Hawke and Varric was surrounded by more of the creatures.

Theron was about to unleash his magic again when blinding blue light slammed into the Ancient Wraith and it howled as the rocks began to tear apart. Footsteps pounded against the ground and the creatures around Varric were now rubble around the startled dwarf. Fenris fixed his green eyes on the blue light that now tore a hole directly into the red energy keeping the Wraith alive. It let out one last violent scream before falling apart completely.

"Andraste's flaming sword..." Varric whispered in awe. "What was that?"

"I believe it was him." Fenris cocked his head.

"Maker..." Theron breathed.

Garrett was back on his feet. His hands were clenched and magic energies danced around his body. But it was his eyes that drew Theron's attention. His eyes were now glowing so brightly energy seemed to flow from his eyes. He looks shocked at his own power and he just stood there breathing heavily until Varric made the first move.

"Hawke?" the dwarf put a hang on his arm.

"Varric...are you alright?" the mage asked. The light in his eyes faded away now.

"I should be asking you that." Varric stared at the mage's blood caked leg. "Now that I'm not grateful for the rescue but why are you even up and walking around?"

"Good question." Fenris agreed. He narrowed his gaze at the mage who still looked a little stunned.

"Garrett, what happened to you?" Theron gulped. "The poison..."

"It's gone Theron." The human mage shook his head. "He saved my life."

"Who saved you?" Varric asked but it was Theron who answered him.

"Justice. I can smell him on you. He's part of you now isn't he?" the elf whispered with barely suppressed rage.

Garrett could only nod in reply.


	20. Somewhere In Between

**Chapter Twenty**

**Somewhere In Between**

_**I can hear the lyrium singing. But it is different here. It sounds sad. - Justice **_

_**The Deep Roads**_

_**Ancient Thaig**_

It was the strangest sensation.

When Justice melded with him Garrett felt as if he were being enveloped in total warmth and with a feeling that nothing could harm him anymore. He could feel Justice at the back of his mind, like he was a source of comfort. Even now the mage could hear the spirit whispering to him but it wasn't distracting or irritating. Garrett was unaware of anyone else for the moment but he was brought out of his thoughts when Theron grasped his arms and stared into his eyes.

The elf looked so angry and disgusted that it twisted Garrett's heart painfully. Varric and Fenris wisely chose to stay out of the explosion that was going to happen. Since meet Theron all Garrett had heard about Justice was that he had ruined the Warden's life.

But when they melded Garrett had not only felt the warmth Justice provided he had also been crippled by the guilt the spirit felt. He wanted to make amends with Theron but Garrett had a feeling that the elf wouldn't hear him out.

"What's going on?" Fenris asked. He was tired after the recent battle but he would defend himself if need be.

"I think Hawke came back with another passenger." Varric replied.

"Justice?" Fenris stared at the mage who looked more saddened than anything else. "That is a spirit?"

"I don't know all the facts broody." Varric answered. "But we can go over them once we get back to the surface, yeah?"

"For once I agree." The elf nodded. "I do not wish to die trapped down here with you."

"Ahh, I'm touched." Varric smirked.

"Please listen to him Theron." Garrett's voice cut in.

"You just have to poison everything don't you?" Theron squeezed Garrett's arms painfully. "You can't leave me alone!"

"He wants to help us Theron." Garrett tore his arms out of the steel grip they were in. "He saved my life."

"Don't believe that for a second Hawke." Theron spat out. "He'll destroy you. He's only good for that."

"He feels so much guilt Theron." The mage yelled back. "He saved me. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Look, can we put this on hold for now?" Varric stepped in between them. "We still need to find a way out of here."

"Come over here." Fenris called to them. "I found something."

"Oh Maker..." Varric's mouth fell open while Theron and Garrett looked equally shocked.

"I believe you found your fortune." Fenris crossed his arms.

Lying in a small alcove were treasure chests and a large pile of gold and jewels. Garrett had never seen so much money in all his life. This would give him more than enough sovereigns to buy his own mansion or maybe even fix of them. His family would finally be able to live in Hightown the way they deserved. There was a door nearby but Varric had already tried picking the lock. They would need a key to get out of here.

Fenris started to rummage through the chests and he found a single old key buried under more gold. He tossed the key to Garrett who quickly opened the door and the group ran out into the tunnel. Theron wouldn't sense any darkspawn around and he was immensely thankful for that. He felt sick to his stomach that Garrett was now Justice's new host. Garrett looked through the gold and took what he could carry out of here now. Even a handful of this gold would set him up for life in Hightown.

Varric and Theron also took what they could carry back through the tunnels. Garrett wondered about letting other people know about this treasure chamber so others might be able to excavate the temples down here. Aside from the gold and jewels the real treasure would be those temples carved by either the dwarves or something else entirely. The lyrium veins would be worth so much to either the Chantry or the Circle of Magi. The Wraiths and darkspawn had been taken care of and hopefully this place would remain empty now.

Theron couldn't look at Garrett now without feeling nauseous. He had only even known one other spirit possessed mage but Wynne had her age and experience working for her. The Spirit of Faith as she called it had increased her healing capabilities exceptionally and the spirit existed to help her fulfil her last purpose before she could rest. No matter how good a person he was Garrett would only end up hurt by Justice. The spirit would only bring him misery.

The new tunnel spread out in a single pathway and Varric could only hope that the tunnels were to intersect again. Theron stayed away from the mage but Garrett didn't put up a fight about it. He was lost in his own thoughts and with these new feelings of guilt and shame that he was trying to sort through.

For five days they travelled through the tunnels. Their food was low and they had to ration everything but Garrett conjured water and bread for extra rations. Finally they reached the chamber were they battled the dragon but there was no sign of Bartrand's expedition.

Varric hoped that his brother had gone back to the surface. He may not get along with Bartrand but he would never wish this fate on him, to be trapped down here with no hope of seeing the sunlight again.

They moved deeper into the chambers again retracing their steps until they reached the large entrance hall. Garrett couldn't wait to get back to the surface, to feel the cool air and sunlight against his skin again. Now that the Deep Roads had been mapped out and cleared by them Garrett would be able to let others know about this place.

"We're almost out." Garrett ran ahead of them and up the dark tunnel.

"It feels like a lifetime since I've seen the surface." Fenris sounded relieved. "I wonder if your brother left the Roads."

"Bartrand isn't stupid enough to stay down here." Varric answered but he sounded a little unsure. "Besides even he knows that not having a Warden around is a bad idea."

"We'll make sure he got out Varric." Garrett promised him.

"My eyes." Theron put his arm up to block out the harsh daylight. "I can see the exit."

"Oh now that feels so good." Varric felt cold air hit his face as the group stumbled out of the cave.

"I can't believe we're back." Garrett breathed in the fresh air deeply. "Never thought I'd be happy to see the Free Marches again."

"Let's get back to Kirkwall then." Theron said. "You're family will want to see you."

"He's right." Varric smiled up at Hawke. "Go see your family Hawke. It's been a while since you left after all."

The mage glanced over to Theron but the elf was already making his way back towards Kirkwall along with Fenris. Varric looked like he wanted to say something but Garrett simply smiled and patted the dwarf on the shoulder. He was happy to be out of that hellhole and with the money he had sought. It was worth going down there if it meant his family would be happy now. He felt Justice in the back of his mind and the spirit was now uneasy. Garrett followed Varric and they reached Kirkwall before the sun set for the day.

The city looked like a Maker sent gift to the mage and he practically ran through the gates into the Gallows Courtyard. His family would hopefully be in Lowtown at Gamlen's place but there was one person he wanted to see badly.

Garrett parted ways with Varric in Lowtown he made quickly took off for the bridge into Darktown. The city streets were almost empty at this hour but Garrett had one goal in mind now. He reached Darktown and the Anders' clinic was just up ahead. Garrett felt his heart beating faster the closer he got to the clinic and the memory of their first kiss made his blood boil. He stopped at the doorway and just stared at the mage inside.

He was sorting out bottles of potions for his patients then writing down something at his desk he kept in the corner. His face looked so warm as he chewed his lower lip. His eyes were fixed on the list before him as he brushed a lock of hair from his face. For what seemed like an eternity Garrett just watched him then he couldn't contain himself anymore.

Anders placed his quill down and rubbed his sore eyes. He would finish up his list tomorrow when he could think again. The mage stood up and stretched his aching limbs when he heard footsteps enter the clinic. Panic gripped him and he took hold of his staff and faced whoever came into the room.

Anders felt his eyes widen when Garrett Hawke smiled at him. He looked like he had been through the Void and back. His hair was dirty, his clothing torn and covered in blood, dirt and grime but he was still the most beautiful man in all of Thedas.

"Garrett..." he breathed out the name.

"Did you miss me?" Garrett teased but was soon rewarded with an armful of mage.

No words were needed as Anders kissed Garrett hungrily and the taller man reacted on instinct. He ate at Anders sweet, sweet mouth then he pressed Anders against the nearest wall as the kissing intensified. Anders couldn't help it as he pulled at Garrett's robes and he pulled the torn material off the beautifully built man in his arms. Garrett moaned into the kiss and he could feel himself harden as Anders weaved his fingers into his hair. Garrett groaned in pleasure at the sensation of those long fingers caressing his head.

Hawke wanted this man so badly. He wanted him more than anything else in his life. It took every last bit of his willpower to think clearly. He didn't want his first time with Anders to be against a wall in his clinic. Garrett seemed to regain control of his senses as he pulled away from the gorgeous mage who was breathing heavily, his face flushed and his lips wet and red.

"I guess that's a yes." He murmured as he ran his fingers down Anders' cheek.

"I-I sorry..." Anders' voice was raspy. "I just...I'm so glad you're safe."

"Didn't I promise you I'd come back?" Garrett smiled serenely. His heart was ready to burst open and his belly was fluttering from the giddiness he was experiencing.

"Yes you did." Anders felt utter happiness blossom in his chest. Maker he had missed this. "Is everyone else alright?"

"Varric and Fenris are fine. Theron made it back too." Garrett sat down next to Anders when the healer led him to the cot. "If I can I'll avoid the Deep Roads for the rest of my life."

"Garrett?" Anders was worried when the mage slumped heavily against him.

"Haven't slept properly in days." Garrett yawned.

"You're exhausted." Anders pushed the mage gently onto the cot. "Sleep here tonight. Have you seen you family yet?"

"No." Garrett curled up on his side. "I wanted to see you first."

"I'll tell them you're safe." Anders felt his face redden and his heart quicken when Garrett said that. "Just sleep now."

"Stay with me?" Hawke opened his tired eyes and started up at the blond mage. "Please Anders..."

"Alright." he placed his staff against the wall then slid in next to Garrett.

"There...something I...need to tell you." Garrett fought to stay awake but he was losing the battle.

"Tell me tomorrow." Anders whispered. "Just sleep now."

Anders wrapped his arm around Garrett's waist and tangled his hand in the grimy chestnut hair. he had been so worried about Garrett and the waiting had almost driven Anders insane. But he was safe and his family was still together.

All that mattered to Anders was keeping Garrett from the heartbreak he experienced the first time. Anders smiled gently at the slumbering mage then he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

As he drifted off to sleep Anders wondered what Garrett wanted to tell him.

* * *

Aren't I a total cock tease?

I thought about letting Hawke have his way with Anders right there but I changed it for two reasons. For one he just got back from the Deep Roads and also I want to develop their relationship more. But fret not dear readers. Our two boys will have their happy time eventually.

Also people are asking me about who attracts our dear Warden's attention.

So far it's a tossup between Fenris and Carver.

I'm really surprised and happy about how much input I'm getting from you guys so I shall have a poll if that's alright.

Who would you like to see with Theron? Let me know when you next review.

There is one conditions though. Hawke can't be included because he only has eyes for our favourite healer. And Anders just might attack Theron if the Warden goes after his man ;)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next will deal with Garrett's new condition.

See you all soon.


	21. Boys Don't Cry

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Boys Don't Cry**

_**We can never predict the outcome of our actions. We can only make them with a true heart. – Garrett Hawke **_

_**Darktown**_

_**Anders' Clinic**_

Garrett slowly stirred from his slumber and he became acutely aware of the warmth around him, holding him in a gentle embrace. The mage had slept like the dead and he now felt a lot better after resting up. He still needed a bath badly and a new set of robes but for the moment he was perfectly content to just stay lying in that amazing warmth. When his vision cleared Garrett realised he was lying nose to nose with Anders who was still asleep.

The blond man had his arms around Garrett and his leg was thrown over Hawke's, wrapping him in a cocoon of warmth. Garrett couldn't help but feel so incredibly lucky that his fellow apostate actually had feelings for him. He wasn't lying when he said that he had wanted to kiss Anders from the moment they met. There was something about him that just made Garrett watch him all the time, something about the power Anders had that made him so powerful with a dark and sexy aura.

Garrett leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Anders' plump ones. He tasted so very sweet especially with the feeling of magic on his skin. Garrett pulled back when he felt Justice stir in his mind and the spirit felt incredibly restless. Garrett frowned as he heard Justice whisper in his mind that he needed to talk to Anders once the mage was awake.

Hawke was still trying to get use to the sensation of being bonded to a spirit but Justice had explained he would never take control of Garrett against his will. But if the mage granted his permission then Justice would take momentary control once he fell asleep. He knew that he would have to tell Andes about his condition and he was worried about how the mage would take it. But he needed to get everything out in the open now.

"Good morning." Anders murmured when he opened his eyes.

"You're a sight for sore eyes. If I had to wake up against Varric one more time I think I'd go mad." Garrett grinned as Anders let out a soft laugh.

"I feel sorry for you." The healer smiled. "But I really am glad you're safe."

"I've never seen anything like it." Garrett ran his fingers down Anders' arm. "All that darkness and the monsters. For a moment I never thought I'd see the sunlight again."

"I...I've heard tales of the Deep Roads." Anders reached up to place his fingers against Garrett's cheek. "I would never have wished that on you or anyone."

"But it was worth it." The mage replied. "I found more than enough money for my family. Varric and the others are safe too. That's all that matters."

"You should head home. They'll want to see you." Anders murmured just as Garrett pressed his mouth against the healer. He really did love to kiss him.

"I know." He moaned and the sound caused Anders to harden. He had to shift his legs away from Garrett. As much as he wanted to be with Hawke he wouldn't move this along so fast. He wanted to get it right this time.

"Anders, before I go there's something you need to know." Garrett pulled on his dirtied robe as both mages got off the cot. "When I was in the Deep Roads something happened to Theron."

"Is he alright?" the healer asked worriedly.

"He's fine now but we found this strange idol. When he touched it he...it was like he was possessed." Garrett explained.

"I-Idol?" Anders felt his mouth go completely dry. It couldn't be the same one. They couldn't have found that Maker forsaken idol again. It was because of that thing Meredith went insane and Bartrand ended up in the sanatorium.

"I destroyed it. Theron went back to normal." Garrett said and Anders felt an immense weight lift from his heart. "But during the fight I was injured. I...Anders, it was a bad wound."

"What happened Garrett?" the mage demanded.

"I was poisoned. I can't remember much but I was in the Fade and I met a spirit there." Garrett sighed as he heard Justice talk to him again, whispering with an urgency to talk to Anders. The spirit had saved him and his friends. He owed him this.

Garrett agreed to let Justice take temporary control to better explain things to Anders. He felt like he was being consumed in warmth and light as Justice took over. He was scared at first, the alien feeling taking over completely but he had experienced this in the Deep Roads. Garrett hoped to the Maker that Anders would understand why he agreed to let Justice help him.

"Garrett!" Anders grabbed his arms, fear and panic beginning to take hold. "Tell me what happened now!"

"He allowed me to save him."

Anders felt as if the world had stopped as he arms fell limply to his sides. He knew that voice, he had heard it in his head a thousand times before he corrupted him. Garrett was standing there but his beautiful eyes were now shining with powerful energies from the Fade. There was a calm serenity about his posture but Anders backed away from him, his lips trying to form words but the agony in his heart prevented it.

"He was dying Anders. I gave him a choice." Justice said. "Would you rather he had perished?"

"No..." he whimpered. He backed into the wall. "No! It can't be you! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"But it has happened and this time you cannot undo it." Justice approached him.

"W-What are you talking about?" Anders felt hot tears roll down his cheeks.

"Spirits have different perceptions to that of mortals. When you altered your own history the spirits remained aware of it." Justice explained. "I know what happened to me and to you."

"Justice, please let him go." Anders begged. "You were never meant to be part of a human! You'll only be corrupted."

"Not all souls possess the anger you had." Justice shook his head. "Garrett is a soul so very rare in this world. His one goal is the protection of his loved ones. He has no grand desire or scheme to change the world."

"That still doesn't make this right." Anders gasped through his tears. "Not him! Please Justice, I-I can't bear it if I lost him."

"You are not the only one with regrets Anders." Justice looked away, sorrow clear in his features. "Vengeance has done unforgivable things and I will always live with the memory of that. But there is one person I have to atone for."

"Let him go!" Anders grabbed the mage by the arms and squeezed them painfully hard. "Please let him go. I...I can't watch this happen!"

"Listen to me Anders!" Justice took hold of the mage. "I did not have these memories before I was rejoined with the Fade. When I was still part of Kristoff I helped Theron destroy the Mother in Amaranthine. He died in that battle Anders."

"What?" the healer whispered in horror.

"He died, his soul had gone beyond the Fade to rest. But...but I had grown attached to him. He was my friend, always there to listen to me when I needed to talk. At that moment I wasn't Justice anymore." Justice turned his back to Anders. "I reached beyond the Fade to find him and bring him back."

"You brought him back to life?" Anders could only stare at the spirit.

"Yes." Justice whispered in response. "A spirit had never done something like that before, I upset the order of life and death. But in that one moment of madness I ruined my friend and I must atone for that."

"Theron's hatred for you...?" Anders gulped.

"It is entirely justified. When he came back it was as if a piece of him had been left behind. And that is why I must help him." Justice turned back to the mage. "Something came back with him."

"What do you mean?" Anders asked. "What something?"

"I do not know but it possesses immense power and it will not relinquish Theron without a fight. But his hatred for me coupled with the entity's power has prevented me from reaching him. Hawke was my last option." Justice sighed heavily.

"Justice, find someone else. I don't care who but don't use Garrett." Anders wiped his eyes. "I know the burden of living with a spirit."

"Have you no faith in him?" Justice crossed his arms. "Have you so little faith that Garrett will not succumb to hatred and vengeance?"

"I trust him with my life!" Anders yelled in rage. "I love him so much. He went through so much pain but he was always trying to help me...help us! Please Justice..." the mage couldn't speak as he fell to his knees before the spirit. "Please let him go. I-I can't lose him Justice. Not after everything."

"I have to make this right Anders. Theron deserves to be granted the peace I took away from him." Justice said calmly. "I have to do this, for both our sakes."

Anders couldn't handle this. After everything he had done to be free of Justice and his own choices here was the spirit in possession of the one person, the only person Anders had truly fallen in love with. It wasn't that he didn't trust Garrett. He was the strongest mage Anders had ever met, an archmage without pier. But it was never his strength that drew Anders. Garrett's capacity for good and his soul that never wavered or lost its purpose had drawn him in completely.

The healer didn't wipe away the tears as he sobbed for Justice and for Garrett. The Maker was punishing him, He had to be. Nothing else could be a crueller fate for him. If Garrett experienced one moment of rage or the need for bloody vengeance then Justice would be corrupted again.

"Anders!" Garrett's voice was worried and he felt hands touch his wet face. "Anders, what's wrong? What happened? Did Justice do something to you?"

"I'm so sorry Garrett. I'm so sorry." Ander sobbed as Garrett pulled him into his arms and hugged him. "It's all my fault. I-I should've gone with you!"

"Anders, please don't do this." Garrett stroked his hair. "I made the choice. I allowed Justice to bond with me."

"But you don't know what it'll do to you." Anders pulled back to look into familiar blue eyes. "I know he's a Spirit of Justice but...but what is he changes you? I-I don't want that to happen."

"Anders, look at me." Garrett waited for the mage to look at him, his honey eyes wet and red. "I can't promise that something won't happen but as long as you and my family are safe then I'll be fine."

"Garrett..." Anders whimpered as he clutched at the torn robes.

"Please trust me Anders." Bright blue eyes sparkled. "And if I can help Theron then I'll do what I can for him."

Anders said nothing. What else could he say? He had spent so much of his time trying to keep Garrett safe from his mistakes but here Justice was staring him in the face. He would never be free of the spirit or his own demons. Now Garrett was going to suffer because of him.

"Anders, please say something." Garrett pleaded, his eyes begging the other mage to say even one thing now. "I can't do this by myself."

"Alright..." he whispered brokenly. If what Justice said was true then Garrett would be a far better host to him than Anders ever was. But he would watch and listen and if a time came when Garrett would lose control Anders swore he would be there to pull him back. "I'll help you."

"Thank you." Hawke sighed with relief.

Anders' response was to wrap his arms around Garrett and just hold onto him. At that moment he made a choice. Garrett was the new host and as much as Anders wanted to believe he would never corrupt Justice there was always a small chance it would happen again. He would protect Garrett no matter what. All the things that defined him still had to happen. The Qunari attack was coming within the next three years and Meredith was still out there gathering power but the idol was gone forever now. Some good had come out of all this.

Anders pressed his face against Garrett's neck. Theron still needed their help and Justice wanted atonement for it. Anders had been a Grey Warden once, Theron had been his closest friend in another life. It was time he started getting that friendship back. He would always have the memories of his time with Vengeance but it was gone now. Anders was through just sitting in his clinic and watching everything happening around him as it should happen.

If it were possible he would be the person he was as a Warden. Garrett needed him and he would die before letting his love down again. And he was so tired of living with the memories and the guilt. He was simply Anders now, a mage with a loose tongue and a feisty attitude. That was how Theron always described him anyway. Maybe that Anders was still around.

"Alright, now that you've told me about Justice, do you fancy a drink?" Anders pulled back and smiled at Garrett's surprised expression. "I could use a drink after all that."

"Anders..." Garrett couldn't stop the laugh that came out. "Yes, yes I'd love a drink.

"It'll be fine Garrett." The healer murmured once they stood up and walked to the clinic entrance. "We'll help Theron. I won't let you down."

"I know." Garrett laced his fingers with Anders'. "That's why I like you so much."

Anders smiled at that. It wasn't love yet on Garrett's part but he was worth the wait. And it had felt liberating in a way to be the person he once was before the possession. It seemed like another lifetime since he last said something like that. Garrett had told him once that he wished he could've met Anders before Justice was part of him.

That was one promise Anders was ready to keep.

* * *

So the votes are in and the winner is Fenris!

Carver missed out by two votes which I was surprised at but TheEmptyMind actually made a really good suggestion.

I will still write Theron/Fenris if you wonderful readers will have it but TheEmptyMind made an excellent suggestion of Sebastian/Theron with the idea that Sebastian is facing a crisis of faith when he begins to desire Theron and no amount of praying is going to make the temptation go away. Add to the fact Theron is possessed it would make a lovely plot I think.

Well let me know and I'll get right on. Theron needs to get plaid badly in my opinion hehe.

Also I hope I did alright with Anders finding out about Justice. They may not be bonded anymore but the memories will always be there and I think Anders needed a good kick in the pants to really start making a difference.

What better way than to have you future lover possessed by the very thing that ruined your life? So expect to see a little more Awakening Anders in the future. But to be honest I prefer DA2 Anders. One reviewer Kaassie said that I don't distinct between the two considering Anders is hated on the forums. DA2 really fleshed him out as a character while as much as I liked him in Awakening he came off as an Alistair clone to me.

Oh and said reviewer wanted to know why Theron refers to the Maker instead of his own gods. That isn't poor dialogue on my part but rather a plot point. I can't say anything else without giving it away but Theron says what he says for a reason. You'll have to wait to find out.

And that is enough ranting from me for today.

I love you guys very much and I'll see you soon.


	22. Make Myself Believe

**Chapter Twenty Two**

**Make Myself Believe**

**_I don't see oppression here. I see fear and danger. - Fenris_****  
**

_**Lowtown**_

_**Gamlen's House**_

It had been quite an eventful month.

Since their brother went to the Deep Roads the Hawke twins had taken to doing jobs around Kirkwall for extra money and they were beginning to make a reputation of their own. Bethany, Carver, Merrill and Isabela were often seen together taking on jobs for decent money.

They had won respect from the Viscount when they saved his son Seamus from the Winters and their vicious leader Ginnus. Bethany had come close to bringing the templars down upon her family and friends when she helped out a group of mages to flee the Circle.

Merrill had helped a young half Dalish mage flee to her clan so he could better control his growing powers. Carver often voiced his opinions of the matter of mages and as usual Bethany ignored him. She had recently been told by a dwarf that he needed help with the Qunari and their explosive powder. She was a little reluctant to get involved with the large horned warriors but Carver was all for it.

Bethany was currently in Gamlen's house going through the supplies she kept in the storage chest. She always had a stash of lyrium and health potions for missions that involved any battles which was practically all the time. Leandra was out buying something for dinner tonight and Carver was off looking for a new sword to purchase. His last one had been broken and the man had not stopped ranting about it since. Bethany eventually got sick of it and she kicked him out to buy a new one. She didn't look up when the door creaked open.

"Carver, if you need more money forget it!" Bethany yelled as she went through the bottles of potions.

"Now that is quite a hello." a voice laughed and Bethany felt her body freeze up.

"Garrett?" she breathed out.

The young woman stood up and turned to see if she wasn't heating things. It wouldn't be the first time that she thought she had heard Garrett's voice. But there he stood wearing a dirty robe and Anders was at his side with a relieved smile on his face.

Bethany felt her throat tighten up and she couldn't get her feet to move. Instead Garrett came forward and pulled Bethany into a tight hug. The dark haired woman finally let her tears come and she wrapped her arms around her big brother. She sobbed against his shoulder as he placed his hand against her head.

"Thank the Maker you're home." she cried against him.

"Did I promise I'd come home? I missed you so much." Garrett smiled.

"Mother and Carver will be so happy to see you." Bethany laughed through her tears. "They've missed you terribly Garrett."

"Carver missed me? Now I know you're joking." Garrett sighed.

"He did." Bethany murmured as she pulled away to look at her brother. "He was so worried about you. We all were."

"Beth, I found treasure." Garrett smiled brightly. "I found enough to buy back our house."

"Oh Maker..." the girl gasped but the sheer happiness on her face had made everything worth it. "it didn't matter if you found treasure Garrett. Having you home is more than enough. Stay here! I 'm going to find mother and Carver."

"I can't wait to see them." Garrett sat in a nearby chair. "There's something else I need to tell you but I want mother and Carver here."

"Garrett?" Bethany knew that look. He was being weighed down by something. He was worried.

"Please Beth." he pleaded softly. "I'll explain everything when Carver and mother come home."

"Alright." Bethany stood up but not before hugging her brother once more. "I'm so glad you're home. I have so much to tell you."

"I can't wait." Garrett watched as she ran out of the house. "It's so good to be home."

"I never thought you'd say that about Gamlen's place." Anders looked around the hovel.

"But there's a bed here. It may as well be a palace compared to the Deep Roads." Garrett leaned back in the chair.

_Can't argue with that. _Anders smiled faintly. He reached into his pocket and felt the ring against his skin. Garrett would want this back. When he was in the Deep Roads Anders would slip the ring onto his finger and stare at it, amazed at how perfect the fit was.

"Here," Anders held out his hand. Maybe one day he could have that ring for himself. "You kept your word Garrett."

"Father's ring..." Garrett took the golden ring from Anders. "Thank you Anders."

"You did promise to come back for it." The healer replied. His brow furrowed in concern. "Are you going to tell them about Justice?"

"They have a right to know." Blue eyes became clouded with concern. "But being here is bad enough with the templars and Meredith breathing down our necks. If the templars found out about Justice they won't listen to me. I won't put my family in harm's why like that."

"I won't let them take you." Anders promised, his eyes determined. "You mean too much to your friends and family."

"But I'm glad you're looking out for me Anders." Garrett said. The mage looked at the healer with gratitude in his expression. Anders felt his heart quicken under the gaze.

"I'll leave you alone." The healer placed his hand on the door. "You need to rest up and have a bath."

"I could soak in the tub for a week." Garrett ran a hand through his grimy hair.

"I'll go talk to Theron." Anders had turned away from the other mage. "He's probably at the Hanged Man with Varric getting drunk."

"Wait," Garrett gripped his hand. "Before anything else happens I'm taking you out tomorrow night. Just you and me."

"But you're just back-" Anders said but Garrett shook his head fiercely.

"After everything that's happened I want to do this." Garrett said firmly. "Besides didn't you promise?"

"I can't wait." Anders smiled as he pulled Garrett to his feet. He knew there would be no changing the man's mind. He could be so incredibly stubborn. "But please take a bath. I think your family will appreciate it."

Garrett pouted but he started stripping off and made his way to where Gamlen kept the wooden tub. Anders felt his blood rush south at the sight of that glorious naked back. He quickly left the house before he did something they would both regret. Besides Leandra and Carver would want to see him. The mage wasn't going to head back to the clinic right away. Justice wanted to help Theron but the elf could be incredibly stubborn.

Anders decided to stop by and see how Theron was doing.

* * *

_**Hightown**_

_**The Chantry**_

Theron didn't know what compelled him to come here but he didn't want to be around Varric or Hawke right now. The moment they arrived back in the city Bartrand had been the first to greet them or scream until his face turned blue. After the cave collapsed Bartrand had turned around and taken his expedition back to the surface. Varric didn't want to handle an argument with his brother right after getting out of the Deep Roads so he handed over what treasure he carried out of the cave.

Needless to say Bartrand had been stunned speechless allowing Varric, Theron and Fenris to slip away. Fenris had immediately gone to the mansion he stayed in while Varric made a beeline for the Hanged Man. He was already chattering away about what he was going to tell the crowds in the tavern.

Theron thought about looking for Hawke but he was afraid of his reaction to see him again especially with Justice there now. instead the elf slipped away from Varric and quietly made his way to Hightown. He didn't want to be around Isabela, Merrill or Hawke's twin siblings right now. He wanted to be around someone that didn't know him.

And here he was sitting in the quiet Chantry staring up at the statue of Andraste. looking at the statue made him think back to when he found the Urn of Sacred Ashes. He was a Dalish elf and he held no love for the human religions but there was something calming and serene when he glanced at the ashes of the prophet. Leliana and Alistair had been so grateful to him when he brought them along while Shale simply stated that it was unusual to store one's remains in a pot.

Theron felt a smile tug his lips as he delved into memories of his friends. He wondered how they were doing, if they were safe and living good lives. The elf was jolted from his thoughts when he heard footsteps slapping against the marble floor and he saw the archer from before coming towards him. The man looked surprised when he saw Theron sitting on the floor.

"Theron?" Sebastian asked.

"So you remember me." the elf grinned.

"You're hard to forget." Sebastian smiled in response. "Don't take this the wrong way but why are you here?"

"I just...I needed to find some place peaceful." the red head replied and that wasn't entirely a lie. "I just got back from the Deep Roads."

"Maker, I've heard stories of that place." the archer winced.

"It wasn't a fun trip." Theron muttered and his tone of voice told Sebastian not to ask any more questions.

"What about the others?" Sebastian questioned the elf.

"Varric and Fenris are fine." Theron was back on his feet now. "Hawke...I don't know what to think about him."

"What do you mean?" the priest asked. "Is he alright?"

"I don't know." the red head shrugged but there was so much pain in his eyes that Sebastian felt pity tug his heart. "I don't even know why I came here."

"Maybe you wanted to find peace." Sebastian suggested.

"There's no such thing." Theron groused while he refused to look Sebastian in the eyes. "But...thanks for saying that."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Sebastian approached the elf. "You look...sad."

"You can see that?" Theron scoffed. He didn't want to look weak or in need of help. He wasn't going to be someone's charity case. "How perceptive of you."

"Your reasons are your own." Sebastian nodded. "I can understand your need for privacy."

"Yeah..." Theron rubbed his face. "Listen, I'm sorry for getting down your throat but I have problems talking to people. It's got nothing to do with you personally."

"That's good to know." Sebastian smirked.

"Someone I hate has come back into my life and all I want to do is tear something apart until I feel better." Theron blurted out in a rush.

"Oh." Sebastian could have kicked himself when Theron stared at him. "I-I mean, who is this person?"

"You really don't want to know." The elf waved his hand. "But he hurt me and I've never gotten over that. I thought I'd left all of this behind me."

"The past has a way of catching up to you." Sebastian said as he followed Theron out of the Chantry. "It always comes back to haunt us."

"The worst thing about it," Theron squinted his eye against the bright sunlight. "Hawke is caught right in the middle."

"Hawke? Is he alright?" the priest questioned him.

"He's tough." Theron smiled wistfully. "He reminds me a little of how I used to be. I suppose that's why I'm worried about him."

"That makes you a good friend." Sebastian reassured him. "You wouldn't be this upset if you didn't care."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Theron stopped walking at the entrance to the Viscount's Keep. "I forgot what it was like to care. Hawke...he gets under your skin. It pisses me off."

"Theron," Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder but the elf shrugged him off.

"Thanks for listening." The red head didn't turn around as he walked down the steps.

"So you're seeking answers from the Maker now?" Theron's head whipped up at the sound of Fenris' voice.

"What do you want?" the red head snarled.

"You truly are distracted. I've been standing here since you came out of the Chantry." Fenris crossed his arms. "I heard what you said about Hawke. Why would you be worried for him?"

"You wouldn't understand." Theron sighed. He didn't want to argue with the ex-slave. "I need a drink."

"Hmmm..." Fenris observed the other elf closely. He looked drained and so weary. Why should he even worry about an abomination? "You can have the bottles in the mansion."

"What?" Theron's wine eye narrowed suspiciously.

"I won't offer it again." Fenris groused.

"I can't figure you out." Theron smirked a little. "You don't even like me and now you're inviting me for a drink?"

"You can drink all you like. I have work to do." Fenris replied icily. "But I understand when a person need to be alone."

"I..." the red head wanted to say something but he was grateful that Fenris could grant him the privacy he wanted. "Thanks."

"Just leave a bottle for me." Fenris walked away from the Warden.

Theron watched him until the white haired elf vanished from his sight. He had thought Fenris' hatred for magic would never be swayed but it seemed that the ex-slave could be reasonable when it mattered. Theron wasn't about to push his luck though.

He entered Danarius' mansion with the intent to get thoroughly shit faced. Maybe if Fenris came back he'd offer what was left of the wine to the warrior.

He could actually be nice when he wasn't scowling and wishing death on all mages.

* * *

So my wisdom teeth have decided to say hello and my dentist put me on a course of pills while the tooth pushes its way out of my gum. It took me forever to get this chapter started because of it.

But writing actually makes me feel better so I won't be on sick leave :)

After going through all the fantastic feedback I'm getting from you guys I'll write out a Carver/Merrill subplot. Looking back over the chapters I wrote I actually like the idea of those two together.

But I've dug a hole here. I love the idea of Sebastian/Theron, I cannot lie about that. And Fenris/Theron would make a great plot too. Hate sex FTW!

I'll see how it pans out as I write the story but coming up next is the date I've been dying to write. And I will be putting in the three year time skip along with a Varric interlude with Cassandra. I hope you look forward to that dear readers.

Much love from me!


	23. To Love A Hawke

**Chapter Twenty Three**

**To Love A Hawke**

_**Being near you makes me crazy. But I don't want to be apart from you, not ever. - Alistair**_

_**Hightown **_

Garrett was nervous.

He had felt nervous before in his life but it was never this bad. Bethany had bought an outfit for him while Carver was out with Merrill again for the night. Garrett was more than happy for his brother. Ever since he met Merrill the youngest twin had stopped resenting his older brother and actually helped out when the templars got too close. Merrill was a very sweet girl but Garrett was worried about her use of blood magic. In a fight she rarely used it but that didn't mean the urge would vanish.

Garrett trusted her all the same and Carver was going out of his way to help her fit in. Bethany would tease her brothers that they were having all the fun and she would end up a lonely old spinster. Despite what he said to Anders about telling his family of Justice the mage didn't bring it up when he was reunited with his mother and brother.

Leandra had broken down in tears as she hugged her son. Even Carver had hugged his big brother in an unusual show of affection. Garrett didn't say anything to spoil the moment, he simply smiled as he was reunited with his family. He spent the next few hours telling them of the treasure he had found and that they could finally buy back the Amell estate. For the first time since coming to Kirkwall the Hawke family looked completely happy and at peace.

Garrett listened as Bethany told him what she and Carver had been doing in his absence. He was very proud of them for helping people out in the city and for making their own names among Kirkwall. Carver was more than happy now that people spoke his name instead of his brother's all the time.

Garrett was pulled from his thoughts when Bethany started tugging at his clothing again to make sure everything was fine. She had always been a perfectionist when it came to her appearance and now she was applying that same attitude to her brother.

Garrett cast a pleading glance to his mother who simply laughed. It was good to see her looking so happy after everything she had been through. Losing her husband and then fleeing Ferelden had took a toll on her. At least now she could go back to the house she grew up in. Finally Bethany released her brother as she stood before him with her hands on her hips and examined him.

"Bethany for the Maker's sake I look fine." Garrett tried to move past her only to have two hands press against his chest.

"This is the date you've been waiting for Garrett. You have to look your best." Bethany had somehow gotten a comb and was now bringing it to his hair.

"Oh no!" Garrett dodged her and quickly went to the front door. "I look fine Beth now I have to go."

"Alright." His sister sighed but she had a smile all the same. "Have a good time Garrett. You more than deserve this."

"Have you gotten an audience with the Viscount?" Garrett asked while he fixed his collar.

"Word has already reached him about the treasure you found in the Deep Roads. Varric must have told him quite the story." Leandra replied.

Garrett hadn't decided to let the people know of the ruins deep within the Roads. He knew that the dwarves at least deserved to know about the temples but after fighting the Ancient Rock Wraith and those possessed rocks proved that the place was still dangerous.

There was ancient history buried down there along with the raw lyrium. Varric had wanted to let the Viscount know of the success of the trip and Garrett was more than happy to let him tell the tale. He could only hope Varric didn't spin too big a story. Then again this was Varric. Garrett wouldn't be surprised if a rumour started going round the city that he slew a dragon with a dagger while fending off a legion of darkspawn.

"Don't worry about this Garrett." Leandra warned him. "I don't want you to worry about us tonight. Enjoy your evening with Anders." His mother smirked.

"Mother..." Garrett felt his face flush with embarrassment. He did not want to talk about this with his mother of all people.

"Have fun dear." Leandra smiled at him.

Garrett made sure his coat was fixed before leaving the house. Anders had left a letter that morning saying that he would be at the clinic for most of the day. He hadn't been able to find Theron but if the elf wanted to be alone then Garrett would have Anders respect that privacy.

The healer had agreed and went back to work at the clinic. Garrett tried to calm the butterflies in his belly but the closer he got to Darktown the worse it became. He had everything planned out for tonight and he went over his plans in his head one more time. He wanted things to go perfectly tonight. Finally he reached the clinic and he simply stared at the healer standing inside. Anders was wearing a simple turquoise blue coat and black breeches. His hair wasn't tied back and instead framed his face.

"H-Hi." Garrett felt his mouth go dry at the sight before him.

"Garrett," Anders smiled brightly. "You look handsome in that outfit."

"I could say the same thing." Hawke grinned to hide his nervousness.

"I have to admit that I'm curious about where you're taking me." Anders blushed. Garrett hadn't told him about his plans for tonight. He wanted it to be a surprise.

"You'll just have to trust me." Garrett laced his fingers with Anders'. "Ready to go?"

Anders nodded as he allowed Garrett to take out of the clinic towards Hightown. The healer was excited about the date Garrett had organized for them. When they were together Anders had been so consumed with Vengeance and the desire to have the world change around him. During those three years they never went out like this. He was wrapped up in his paranoia about the templars and Meredith that he missed what Hawke was trying to do for him.

Anders refused to dwell on those memories. He was going to make better ones and he wasn't going to let Justice destroy it this time. He didn't care as Garrett walked alongside him through the market, their fingers linked. Garrett grinned when they reached their destination. Anders went bright red when Garrett took him to the Blooming Rose.

"The brothel?" Anders went wide eyed. This wasn't what he pictured at all.

"Believe it or not this place has the best food and entertainment and no I don't mean just that." Garrett explained. "Trust me on this."

"Alright, but only because I've really curious now." Anders couldn't keep the glee out of his voice.

They entered the establishment and immediately one of the girls came towards Garrett and told him his table was ready. She winked saucily at Anders then guided them to the table in a private room. The healer was amazed at all the trouble Garrett had gone to and he had pulled this off in one day.

The table was set with the most exotic foods Kirkwall had to offer along with the best wine. The room was a simply decorated place with candles which added to the romantic atmosphere. Anders was grateful that there wasn't a bed here. Garrett looked so handsome in the candle light, his blue eyes shining with the power he possessed. At those eyes were fixed solely on Anders.

"Alright, I'm impressed." The mage murmured softly.

Garrett let out a breath of air when Anders looked at him with those beautiful honey eyes. Thanks to Bethany and Anders helping the Blooming Rose out a few times Garrett was able to set this up in time for their date. Anders took his seat and started his meal when Garrett took his own seat at the table. The night passed by pleasantly as they talked about different things, always staying away from the subject of Justice and Theron.

Garrett would laugh his entire face lighting up with glee as Anders joked with him. The mage finished dessert when Garrett stood up and held out his hand.

"What are you doing?" Anders stared at the offered hand.

"Dance with me." it wasn't a question.

Anders was fairly certain his face was blazing as he took the warm hand and Garrett pulled him against his chest. Anders could faintly hear music playing from within the Rose but even that began to drift away as Garrett put his hand on the small of the healer's back and they started to move. Anders wasn't a great dancer, it wasn't exactly something you learned in the Tower and he saw no reason for it. But it was fairly obvious that Garrett knew what he was doing.

They danced slowly in the one place, more moving with one another. Anders rested his head against Garrett's neck and just breathed in his scent. Lavender and raw magical energy filled Anders' senses and his knees turned to jelly. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this content.

"I didn't know you could dance." Anders murmured as he wrapped his arms around Garrett's body now.

"I'm a man of many talents." the mage replied as he rested his forehead against Anders'. "But I never dance for just anyone."

"The I really am lucky." Anders smiled beautifully.

"From the moment I saw you I've wanted this." Garrett confessed. "I never met anyone like you before. All that power you have and you use it to help people without a second thought."

"Garrett, I'm not perfect." Anders murmured as those blue eyes shone.

"I know that. You have your faults but that's what makes you more amazing to me." Garrett brushed his knuckles against Anders' cheek. "And I...I really want to do this again."

Anders said nothing, he didn't have to. Instead he pressed his mouth against Garrett's in a chaste kiss that was simple a meeting of lips but held so much more emotion that any word could. They moved together to a rhythm only they could hear.

For the first time in his life Anders felt that everything was right in the world.

* * *

_**The Graveyard**_

Theron groaned as he opened his aching eye. Through the fuzziness in his head the elf was stunned that he was still able to wake up after drinking most of the bottles Fenris had offered him. He had drunk enough wine to make sure he was unconscious for a week.

Forcing his body to sit up Theron wiped his eye but his heart seized up when he realised where he was. The graveyard was still shrouded in a sense fog but he noticed something different about this place almost immediately.

There was a gate that had been locked before but was now open revealing a small grassy hilltop. Theron staggered to his feet with the sole purpose of leaving this place behind again. But what good would that do him anymore?

He was being pulled back here for a reason. Whatever that thing was in the fog, that terrible voice had the answers and he wanted to find them. The elf glanced behind him and breathed out his relief when he saw that the exit was still open for him.

There had to be a reason why that other gate was open now and Theron made his decision to investigate it. he was sick of hiding from what was going on. Since Justice and Hawke became one being Theron had been filled not just with anger but with a sense of utter hopelessness. The truth was Hawke had grown on him and he didn't want the mage to get hurt because of Justice. Fenris would take care of it should Justice try anything while inhabiting Hawke. Theron knew that the elf would not hesitate to cut the mage down.

For some reason his thoughts drifted to that strange yet patient Chantry priest Sebastian. he was easy to talk to and he didn't pass judgement on Theron but only because the human didn't know the truth. He didn't want to tell Sebastian the truth, not yet anyway.

He liked confiding in someone who didn't judge him. Theron carefully stepped beyond the gates and out on the hilltop. There was nothing here except a vast empty grey wasteland stretching out before him. His foot knocked against something and he glanced down to see a shovel on the grass. Frowning he picked it up and examined the tool. What was it doing here?

"It doesn't matter how much you fight." that voice...Theron turned and saw a shape in the fog. "I'm going to win."

"You..." He snarled at the figure. "What do you want from me?"

"That'll just give away the punch line wouldn't it?" the voice replied. "But Justice won't save you. Nobody can save you."

"I don't need saving." Theron growled angrily. "But I will enjoy kicking your ass."

The elf charged directly towards the figure but before he could do anything something cold wrapped around his neck and lifted him into the air.

"You forget, this world is my playground. Here, I'm god." the voice laughed as the fog turned into an arm which was then covered in black armour.

"Gah!" Theron clawed at the fingers around his throat.

The figure started to walk and Theron struggled all the harder to break free. His legs kicked but he hit nothing. He couldn't concentrate to use his magic. The elf felt horror consume him when the figure in the fog took a solid form. Dressed in black armour with the symbol of the Grey Wardens on the chest plate the man now gripping Theron's throat smiled fiercely.

Theron stared down into bright red eyes. Theron tried to wake up from this nightmare but the agony in his throat wouldn't leave as the thing wearing Alistair's face tightened his grip.

"Look at you, slayer of the archdemon and Hero of Ferelden." Alistair's double laughed. "I can't believe how easy it has been to keep this hold over you."

"A-Ali...stair!" he rasped out.

"I thought this form appropriate." the thing brought Theron's face close to his own. "Your true friend, the unrequited love you carry every day. What better form could I choose to put you in your grave?"

"Ah!" Theron yelled when the Alistair double threw him into the ground. He landed heavily on something wooden. He squinted up through the walls of dirt on either side of him.

"You can't win this battle Theron." the creature knelt down on the edge of his grave. Theron felt sheer terror grip his body when he realised he was lying in a wooden box. "Just accept this."

"NO!" Theron screamed as Alistair reached over and slammed the lid of the wooden box shut.

* * *

Wow, wasn't that a morbid ending?

I hope you guys liked how Garrett and Anders spent their evening.

My tooth is giving me hell and I spent most of the day in bed watching Robocop movies and the Indiana Jones trilogy. Ahh, now that cheered me up.

Anyway next chapter coming soon as usual and the beginning of Act 2.

See you soon guys!


	24. Legends Born Through Tales

**Chapter Twenty Four**

**Legends Born Through Tales**

Varric Tethras was a master storyteller and quite the accomplished liar.

He would tell his tales of adventure to anyone who would listen and the crowds would absorb all the words spoken. It was for this reason Cassandra had sought him out and dragged him to a small stone room with nothing but a chair and a book. The Seeker stood before the dwarf who had just finished telling his account of the Champion's first year in Kirkwall. To be honest Cassandra was surprised at the events that had transpired in the city before the battle in the Gallows.

Hawke did enter the Deep Roads but he had destroyed the idol himself. If that were indeed true then how did the Gallows battle begin? The mage Anders played a truly significant role in the Champion's life while the Hawke siblings had already begun to cement their places in history. So far everything was happening as Cassandra had heard in her travels.

But there was one part she had yet to fully understand. Theron Mahariel had been in Kirkwall for a longer period of time that she had believed. The former Hero of Ferelden played a bigger part in the Champion's life than the Chantry had initially realized. But that knowledge wouldn't matter anymore.

The battle at the Gallows had only sealed Mahariel's place in history along with Hawke's. Varric sat there, his large eyes sparkling with amusement at her confusion but this only further angered her. Why was he treating everything like a joke? Didn't he understand what was happening? Didn't he know that so many lives had been lost? So many more could still be lost in she didn't find the Champion.

"So the Champion was truly involved with the healer." Cassandra rubbed her chin in thought. "That explains what Hawke did that night in the Gallows."

"It doesn't explain everything." Varric raised his hands. "Hawke had to make a lot of choices that night. He did the only good thing he could."

"And you honestly believe that?" Cassandra scoffed.

"It wasn't just Hawke." The dwarf frowned at her. "Justice was responsible for it all. Even you should know that."

"The spirit is responsible for a lot of misery." Cassandra lowered her eyes.

"Say what you will but we both know Justice did what he did out of selflessness." the dwarf answered.

"And look what happened in Kirkwall." Cassandra snapped. "Justice has claimed many victims, many innocent people."

"Then you should know that Theron was the first victim in all of this. Leave him alone." Varric crossed his arms. "He's been through enough pain for two lifetimes."

"Mahariel needs to be held accountable for his crimes." Cassandra paced in front of Varric. "The Champion and King Alistair cannot protect him anymore."

"We'll see how you feel once you hear what happened after the Deep Roads." Varric leaned back in his chair.

"Continue." Cassandra muttered.

"Three years passed and Hawke moved up in the world, literally. He bought the Amell estate in Hightown and thanks to his brother and sister the Hawke name was becoming a popular one. But the Qunari were getting restless. They'd been trapped in the city for four years now and more people were converting to the Qun." Varric stopped when Cassandra raised her hand.

"And what of Theron? Surely you must've seen the signs." the Seeker questioned him.

"Theron managed to settle into the city. He spent most of his time at the Chantry but he became friends with Hawke. He refused to contact the King of Ferelden. Even then we knew something was wrong. Theron's magic was getting stronger, his nightmares more frequent. None of us wanted to admit what we all knew. But if you really want to know what drove Theron to the Gallows that night then I'd suggest finding Sebastian Vael.

He was the only one Theron truly confided in."

* * *

_**Hightown**_

_**Hawke Estate**_

So much had happened in the past three years.

The Hawke family were now well known around Hightown after they moved into the old Amell estate with the treasure Garrett had found. Garrett was still taking whatever jobs he could find around the city. He liked having an active life and if it kept him away from the politics of the city he was all the more happy. Bethany had taken a full time job in Darktown at the clinic. She used the money Garrett gave him to help improve the clinic's conditions and her healing magic had increased in the past three years.

Carver had joined the Guards after giving some serious thought to his future. He had mellowed out and had stopped resenting his big brother but all of that could be traced back to Merrill. She was the best thing that happened to Carver and Garrett took great delight in teasing his little brother whenever he could.

Their estate was big enough and Merrill had often stayed over but she didn't want to impose on the family. Leandra had firmly told her that she was more than welcome to stay whenever she wished. Bethany of course enjoyed teasing both her brothers especially after Anders practically moved into the estate. Anders had Garrett wrapped around his finger and the past three years had proven that. They were inseparable and Bethany had to admit that she was a little envious of the love her brothers had found.

Carver was still shy around Merrill but she helped him out of his self imposed shell. He was making quite the name in the Guards now. Kirkwall was now fairly peaceful but Meredith was still the Knight-Commander and she seemed to be coming down hard on the mages whenever she could. Bethany was finishing up her breakfast when someone knocked on the front door.

"Allow me madam." Bodahn offered. After the Deep Roads expedition the dwarf merchant and his son had offered their services to the Hawke family. Bethany loved having them in the house.

"Thank you Bodahn." she smiled at him.

"Can I help you?" Bodahn asked once he opened the door.

"I'm here to see Hawke. I have a message from the Viscount." the man replied. "I-I want to deliver this personally."

"Who is it Bodahn?" Bethany came to the door.

"M-Madam..." the blond man gulped.

"Knight-Captain." Bethany greeted him.

Cullen was cursing when his face began to turn red when Bethany came to the door. He had encountered the Viscount's messenger on his way into the Hightown market and before he could stop himself he had offered to take the message to the Hawke's.

It was well known that they were a mage family but the Viscount had stated that unless they used blood magic and started attacking innocent people without reason the templars were to leave them alone. Not even Meredith would go against the word of Viscount Dumar. He was the voice of the people and the people were fond of the Hawke family.

"Can I help you Cullen?" Bethany frowned when the man turned red.

"I have a message for your brother." Cullen held out the note.

"Thank you." Bethany took the note. "But you didn't have to bring the note. I thought the messengers did that for you."

"Oh no! I-I was on my way to the market..." Cullen hated when he started blushing. "I just thought I'd save the boy some time."

"That was very kind of you." Bethany smiled at him. "Of all the templars I've met you're quite the gentleman."

Over the past three years Bethany had sometimes helped Knight-Captain Cullen when blood mages of dangerous apostates were on the loose. Bethany could understand a mage's need for their freedom but blood mages who became utterly corrupted by their power had to be stopped. It was a testament to Merrill's strength of character that she was still the gentle girl they met despite the blood magic she used.

Bethany may not like the Circle but she knew that sometimes it was the only option left. Over the past three years she had actually grown quite fond of the templar captain. He had told her of his horrific experience in the Ferelden Tower when a blood mage took control of the Circle. Bethany was shocked that Cullen was actually being civil to her after his torture at the hands of mages. She would have thought an experience like that would scar him for life.

"I...I should go." Cullen murmured. "Good day madam."

"Goodbye Cullen." Bethany waved as he left then she went back into the house.

"Could that man be any more obvious?" Bethany jumped when Carver's voice spoke beside her.

"Will you stop doing that?" she groused. "And what do you mean?"

"It's quite sad really." Carver bit into the sandwich he was holding. "You spent most of your time helping me with Merrill but you don't see the signs when a man actually likes you?"

"Don't be ridiculous Carver." Bethany walked past him. "He's a templar and he has no love for mages."

"Whatever you say sister." Carver smirked as he resumed eating his sandwich. "Garrett! Letter for you!"

Garrett stirred when he heard someone call his name. He was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and he had no desire to leave it just yet. His eyes blinked open and instantly saw a head of blond mussed hair. Anders was still sound asleep curled up next to his lover of three years.

Garrett smiled softly as he simply watched the blond man breathing. Garrett still couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had asked Anders to move in last year and the mage had accepted with a kiss. Garrett heard Carver call his name again and he groaned at the disturbance. He wanted to just stay in bed with Anders. The mage moaned in his sleep as Garrett got out of the warm bed. The eldest Hawke stared at the naked man in his bed before getting dressed.

"Does the world need saving again?" Anders' sleepy voice.

"Not at the moment." Garrett slipped his boots on. He smiled when he felt arms warp around his body and a firm chest pressed against his back.

"The come back to bed." Anders kissed Garrett's neck.

"Tempting but if I don't see what that letter is about Carver will come to get me. Remember the last time we ignored him?" Garrett teased while Anders went slightly pale.

"Please don't remind me." the healer groaned. The memory of Carver walking in on them still made him shiver.

"Do you need to be at the clinic today?" Garrett asked as he stood up to fix his jacket.

"Bethany is expecting a new shipment of potions and medical supplies. We'll be thee sorting everything out if you need us." Anders fell back onto the bed. Garrett smiled as he bent down over the mage.

"I'll see you later love." Garret kissed him then left the bedroom.

The Viscount's Keep was still the same as ever.

People were waiting to have their audience with Dumar, the sound of hushed whispers was palpable in the marble room. Garrett walked up the steps towards the Viscount's chambers, waving at Seamus as he walked on by. The mage had received a letter from Dumar that morning about the Qunari situation and Garrett saw little reason to refuse seeing the man. He had to admit that the relations between Kirkwall and the Qunari were becoming more strained but the last thing he wanted to do was start an all out war in the streets.

The moment he entered the Viscount's office Dumar wasted no time in explaining the situation and Garrett felt cold fear settle in his gut. The Qunari were indeed becoming restless and the Arishok had requested the presence of Hawke and his siblings. It seems they made quite the impression on the Arishok and Dumar wanted to keep the peace as long as he could.

Garrett promised to see the Arishok the first moment he could. He left the Keep and was on his way back home to collect Bethany and Carver when he spotted Theron at one of the market stalls. Garrett was actually pleased to see the elf. He had gotten to know Theron a little better and underneath all that sarcasm and bitterness was a good person who defended his friends. Theron would never admit to caring about Hawke and his companions though.

Garrett was also more than a little worried about him. Lately he admitted to Garrett that he was having nightmares but the mage wasn't going to invade the elf's privacy. Theron had a lot of trust issues but Garrett could still see him as he had been three years ago when Fenris found him in his mansion. That was when Theron told Garrett the truth about the thing plaguing him in his dreams.

"Hawke?" Theron had noticed the silent man.

"Morning Theron." Hawke greeted him. The mage had tried to look for a solution to Theron's problems but not even Justice knew the real reason for his nightmares and the fog. "You looking for a new weapon?"

"No..." the elf responded but Garret could see a small blush appear on his cheeks. "Not for me. Sebastian's coming back from Starkhaven in a few days. I thought he'd like a new bow or something..."

Garrett shook his head at the elf who went back to browsing the weaponry before him. Sebastian had become a close friend of Theron's. He was someone Theron could talk to and know that whatever he said would never reach another person.

But despite the elf's slowly changing view on the people around him Garrett was still worried about the entity Justice was here to find. The spirit had tried to find it through the Fade but he had no luck. It was so strange to share his body with a spirit for three years but Garrett had gotten so used to him now, that feeling of warmth and security Justice gave to him. Theron seemed to be fine these days but Justice refused to leave until he stopped the entity that had come back with Theron.

The only problem was that even now Theron didn't want anything to do with Justice.

For now he had the Arishok to deal with and he quickly made his way back home.

* * *

Hey guys, just wanted to say I hope you liked this chapter.

My mouth has been killing me but I feel a little better now and the next update will most likely be on Sunday. I'm off to see Thor tonight which I've been looking forward to.

Also classes start up again for me on May 3rd so updates will be two days apart most likely.

And during the next few chapters we'll have flashbacks with certain characters and you'll see how Theron coped with confronting the Alistair look-a-like.

Catch you all soon and lots of love from me.


	25. Just Like A Prayer

**Chapter Twenty Five**

**Just Like A Prayer**

_**Me? I'm just picky. - Anders  
**_

_**Darktown**_

_**Anders' Clinic**_

Anders was even now still shocked at how much of an influence Bethany had on the Darktown community since she helped make a better clinic. There were better beds now and an abundance of food for the homeless and starving. Bethany was a source of joy for the people here and it helped that she truly wanted to make their lives better. Anders finished up with a patient while Bethany tended to a baby with a cold.

It was hard to believe that three years had passed by already but Anders knew in his gut that the trouble with the Qunari was going to start up very soon. After Garrett left this morning Anders had already started thinking about what would happen to Seamus because of that twisted bitch Patrice. Seamus didn't deserve to die like that, a sacrificial lamb for a war with a species who only wished to find what belonged to them.

While he was happy and more than content with his life Anders wasn't about to just stay quietly in the background. He had tried for months to locate the book that Isabela had stolen from the Qunari but he always hit a dead end.

He knew that approaching the pirate wouldn't work and he didn't want her running at the first sign of trouble. The other threat Anders was seeking out was that evil monster Quentus. The man was in Kirkwall without a doubt and Anders was determined to catch him before he could harm anymore innocent women. But the growing tension with the Qunari was making him nervous.

The last time this happened Hawke ended up duelling the Arishok and was almost killed in the process. Garrett could take care of himself but these three years allowed Anders to experience a relationship were he wasn't consumed with his need for justice against the templars and the Chantry. Two months after their first date both mages couldn't take the tension anymore and Garrett spent the night fucking one very enthusiastic Anders to a standstill.

The healer was always worried about Justice and how far his influence with Garrett extended but so far they seemed to have a peaceful co-existence. Garrett was always playing the peacekeeper and seeking ways to end conflict without bloodshed but he knew when words would fail and fighting was the only option left.

To be honest he was a far better host for Justice than Anders ever would be. Speaking of hosts the mage wondered if he should check up on Theron. Since the elf admitted that he was being attacked by something in his own mind Anders had taken to keeping an eye on his former Commander. Theron's entire existence here in Kirkwall had thrown Anders off balance but the elf had proven to be a more than skilled fighter against the templars, demons and the other problems Hawke faced each day. But the mage hadn't stopped looking for a way to help Theron and he thought that he finally made some progress. Fenris had been incredibly stubborn about it but he told Garrett about the Tevinter mages and the various spells that used for a possession ritual. It wasn't much information but it was a start.

His only other source of information would be from First Enchanter Orsino. Because of his position among the Circle he was granted access to books an spells the other mages were not privy to. Meredith was becoming more paranoid about the mages but she wasn't doing anything to anger the Viscount. It seemed without the influence of that blighted idol Meredith's lunacy had not been fully tapped into but that didn't mean she wasn't going to cause problems.

For now Anders wouldn't think about her and instead quickly went to see the First Enchanter. He had met Orsino properly some months ago and Anders could only think about the horrific monster the elf had become during the final battle. For all his conviction about the evils of blood magic Orsino hadn't stopped using it when he was backed into a corner.

Orsino had been a good man once, trying everything he could to protect his mages but his pleas meant nothing in the end. Maybe Fenris had been right all along about the mages and their use of evil magic as a last resort. Anders couldn't find it in himself to hate the elf mage for what he did. Meredith was hell bent on murdering every mage in Kirkwall. She invoked the Right of Annulment because of the Grand Cleric's murder. Anders hoped to never see Orsino descend into his own madness again but the tension and rage he felt towards the Knight-Commander was even now harsh and unrelenting.

"Bethany, I need to visit the First Enchanter. Will you be fine here until I get back?" Anders asked.

"It's no problem." the younger mage smiled. "It's a slow day today thank the Maker."

Anders smiled as he left the clinic. He reached the Gallows without any trouble and he was met with two templar guards at the gates into the Templar Headquarters. He was escorted up into the hallway where Orsino's office was located.

The First Enchanter wasn't there but Meredith's office was directly across from his own and Anders could hear them screaming at one another. The mage winced as the volume continued to grow. He tried to ignore the yelling as he took a seat and waited for Orsino to arrive. Eventually the elf stormed into his office, his face red and his hands clenched.

"I take it she didn't listen again?" Anders broke the silence.

"That has to be the most pig ignorant, bull headed, overzealous woman I have ever met!" Orsino spat out. "I would like nothing more than to put her head on a spike!"

"I understand that feeling..." Anders muttered while Orsino finally calmed down.

"Yelling will not do me any good." Orsino rubbed his face tiredly. "So what did you want to discuss with me?"

"It's about your books of possession and exorcism." Anders got to the point.

"We've had this discussion before Anders." Orsino frowned as he took his seat. "I can't allow you to have access to those books. They are under lock and key for a reason."

"And I understand that." the healer replied. "But I'm running out of options."

"Anders..." the First Enchanter leaned forward. "I appreciate all the things you and the Hawker family have done for the mages. You seem like a good man but you're asking me to hand over spells First Enchanters are weary of."

"Theron's nightmares are becoming frequent again." Anders said hastily. "What if I can't help him with my healing spells when he has another attack?"

Orsino didn't say anything but Anders could see the worry in his large eyes. Three years ago Orsino had to be brought to Theron when the former Warden Commander couldn't wake up no matter what Anders did. Orsino ended up having to use lyrium so he could enter Theron's mind and pull him back. Hawke, Anders and Bethany had helped cast the spell and it had taken the mages four hours to help Theron escape the nightmare he had been trapped in.

Orsino had admitted that he did not encounter a spirit but he found Theron screaming and clawing his way out of a wooden coffin left in the ground. The elf had been incoherent when Orsino used his magic to pull him out of the sealed box and it had taken all of his strength to bring Theron back to the real world.

"Has he had a bad attack lately?" the Enchanter asked. Ever since he helped Theron the Enchanter had kept an eye on the red headed elf.

"No but I'm worried about him." Anders replied. "He's become withdrawn lately."

"I can't say I understand Theron completely but he is a private person." Orsino leaned back in his chair.

"Theron doesn't like talking to people but he hasn't been this withdrawn in years." Anders shifted in his seat. "And we never found the spirit that attacked him."

"But we still do not know what kind of spirit we're dealing with." Orsino sighed heavily. "I can't allow those books out of my possession unless I know exactly what I'm dealing with."

"Is there anything you can say that'll help me?" Anders pleaded with the elf.

"I know you're worried about him." Orsino laced his fingers together. "But he hasn't been possessed and the nightmares have stopped. Unless you wish me to involve the Circle I can't give you the books."

"Alright..." Anders knew he wasn't going to get anywhere. "Listen, be careful around Meredith. It's a miracle she hasn't heard about Theron yet. Having her after him is the last thing he needs."

"That I can understand." Orsino chuckled. "So how is Hawke these days?"

"The Viscount keeps him busy mostly." Anders replied. "But you're asking about his...guest aren't you?"

"He is in a very delicate situation." Orsino answered. "Although Theron has told me about his companion Wynne and her own experience with a Fade Spirit. Hawke hasn't caused problems and Meredith is staying away from the family."

"Garrett is stronger than you think." Anders said firmly.

"I have an appointment with the mages." Orsino stood up once the silence settled over them again. "But if Theron has another attack...you'll know where to find me."

Anders nodded then he left the office. He knew that it would've been a long shot to get the books he required but Theron did seem to be fine lately. Granted he was silent and more withdrawn than usual but that could be because of Sebastian's absence.

The Starkhaven prince had to return to his homeland some months ago and Theron had been depressed because of it. Anders was well aware of the Warden talking to the Chantry priest frequently. Anders wasn't sure if Sebastian knew about Theron's state but he highly doubted it. Sebastian was blindly devoted to the Maker and His ways and if Theron admitted that he had a spirit within his soul Anders had no doubt that Sebastian would turn against him.

The archer was unflinching in his faith and this made him a pain in the ass. Anders groaned, Varric was rubbing off on him. The mage didn't want Theron to lose a close friend because of something he had no control over. Maker knew Theron had gone through enough pain and heartache in his life. Losing Tamlen and the feelings he buried for Alistair had left a scar on his heart.

Theron was an intelligent man and Anders could never figure out why he always managed to fall for men he could never have. Anders decided to check up on the elf, just to see how he was doing. Sebastian was due back soon. The healer entered Hightown and made his way to the Chantry.

"What are you doing here mage?" a voice growled nearby.

"I've known you for three years Fenris, try using my name." Anders glared at the ex-slave.

"Not likely." Fenris crossed his arms. "Are you looking for Theron?"

"Can't I check up on a friend?" Anders asked defensively. "Why are you always so suspicious of me?"

"You're a mage, that's reason enough." Fenris walked past him.

"And yet you always talk to Garrett." The healer glared. "He is a mage but you never get this caustic when he talks to you."

"Hawke is a man unlike any other." Fenris answered, his green eyes avoiding Anders. "I've never met a selfless mage before him."

"He is that." Anders agreed. He had long ago given up arguing with Fenris about mages. The elf would never change his mind about him or Merrill but for Hawke he would always give him the benefit of the doubt.

"What are you looking at?" Fenris snapped when Anders started staring at him.

"Sorry..." the mage walked up the steps leaving Fenris behind.

Green eyes narrowed as the blond mage continued into the Chantry but Fenris didn't both stopping him from entering the building. Hawke would be angry if his precious lover ended up in his own clinic because of an ex-slave. Fenris hadn't lied when he said that Hawke was different. The mage was always selfless and protecting others without a second thought. He was patient with Fenris even when the elf would snap and yell at him.

The white haired warrior had been rendered speechless when Hawke had found a book and gave it to him as a gift. Fenris had been embarrassed to admit that he couldn't read but Hawke simply smiled softly and suggested he teach Fenris how to read. He had a lot of confidence in the elf because of his ability to speak different languages and twice a week Hawke would spend time teaching Fenris how to read.

The warrior enjoyed the time he spent with the blue eyed human but his animosity towards Anders only grew. The healer had even moved into the manor when Garrett asked him and Merrill was living there now because of Carver. Fenris had never met a mage he could trust but Hawke was always the exception to the rule. Now he was living with a blood mage who believed demons could be nice friends to people.

What little time Hawke had to spare he was always in the company of his lover but he never once cancelled his weekly visits to see Fenris. The elf had stayed here for three years because of Hawke. He knew logically that he should move on before the hunters found him but every time he got close to the gates he always turned back.

Theron was one of the reasons he stayed. He liked having a friend and Theron proved to be just as caustic and harsh as Fenris but he could be fun to be around especially when drunk. And then there were the problems of the spirits. Fenris should cut them both down before they lost control. He had seen the horror a possessed mage could unleash.

He didn't want to imagine the kind of destruction a possessed Grey Warden could work. Being around Hawke and Theron was distorting any image he had of the mages and magic in general. Fenris had only ever seen pain and death in the Imperium. There was no such thing as a good mage or a kind spirit there.

The elf grimaced when he felt a headache coming on. Thinking about Hawke wouldn't do him any good now. Instead he thought about going to the Hanged Man for a game of Wicked Grace with Varric.

At least with the game he would be distracted from these thoughts.

* * *

I'm back and in full swing.

Ok, so my teeth have finally stopped hurting but I pulled my back out and spent three days in bed unable to move. Going to the bathroom was nothing short of an adventure and I had to motivation to write anything.

But I'm back to normal now and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I actually liked Orsino and wanted to give him a bigger role here concerning Theron and his problems.

Also I like to think that Fenris would have an immense crisis because of the friendship Hawke forged with him. Fenris hates mages but one day he meets a mage that throws all his single minded hatred out the window. And I have to admit it but I completely love M!Hawke/Fenris as much as I love M!Hawke/Anders. I tried playing as a female but I couldn't get beyond Act 1. I've been spolied thanks to Nicolas Boultan's gorgeous voice :)

And I will be writing a chapter from Theron's point of view to better understand what happened to him.

Ok, enough rambling from me. Catch you guys soon and lots of love from me!


	26. Growing Wings

**Chapter Twenty Six**

**Growing Wings**

_**It is only when you leap you realise you can fly. - Flemeth **_

Theron ducked out of sight when more Chantry priests came into the building. He could hear their prayers and chanting while others whispered among themselves. For three years he had been coming to this place, even the Grand Cleric expected to see him nowadays but he never prayed to the Maker or uttered the Chant of Light. Theron liked the quiet and solitude this place offered but there was one person in particular Theron wanted to see.

Sebastian had left for Starkhaven but he had sent Theron a letter letting him know that he was coming back to Kirkwall. Ever since the Flint Company had been taken out of the equation Sebastian had spent what resources he could into finding out who hired them to kill his family.

Starkhaven was in turmoil because of a kingless throne and the only heir aside from Sebastian was a simple man who could be too easily manipulated. Theron always hated getting involved in politics especially when innocent people were killed.

He had seen what Loghain tried to do and while a part of him could understand why the Teryn did what he did the fact remained he was responsible for Cailan and Duncan's deaths. He still needed to pay and Alistair had swiftly beheaded him without a second thought. Alistair was an airhead and more than a little wet behind the ears when it came to leading men but he was still a good man and Ferelden needed that.

Maybe Starkhaven would need the same thing. The elf gripped the bow tightly as he thought about Sebastian leaving for his homeland permanently. He may wish to stay with the Chantry but the truth was Starkhaven would need a strong ruler. Being in the Chantry was a noble thing but to Theron he saw it as a means to get away from the responsibilities required of a person. Sebastian didn't strike him as a coward or the kind of man to leave his responsibilities behind but he was determined to stay in the Chantry.

Theron was pulled from his thoughts when the man in question entered the Chantry alongside another priest. Theron felt his face heat up and his grip on the bow tightened again. The archer was wearing his custom made armour again.

His hair was still the same soft chestnut brown and slicked back from his face. Sebastian parted ways with the priest and made his way to one of the storage rooms near the front door. Theron licked his dry lips before stepping towards the archer and he finally got his voice to work.

"So how did it go?" Theron cursed inwardly when he squawked out the question.

"Theron?" Sebastian turned around and smiled when he saw his friend. "Ah, it went well enough. I'm just glad to be back from Starkhaven and the politics."

"I can understand that." The elf grinned at the man. "Ahh...I got you something."

"Oh?" the prince raised an eyebrow.

"No that it means anything!" Theron felt his face heat up again. "J-Just a welcome home gift...so here."

"Theron..." Sebastian took the bow the elf held out to him. "You didn't need to buy me this."

"You always listen to me when I start complaining." Theron shrugged but he felt warm that the archer liked the bow he picked up. "You're a good friend."

"Thank you." Sebastian smiled serenely. "I mean that."

"It's a Dalish made bow. I couldn't believe it when I saw it sitting in the vendor stall." The red head sighed. "It reminded me of the one Tamlen used to have."

"Tamlen, he was your friend back in Ferelden." Sebastian remembered when Theron used to speak about his lost comrade.

"I always used to think that I was past missing my clan and Tamlen." Theron admitted as he walked alongside Sebastian. "Talking to Merrill helped to ease the pain a little but the truth is I can't go home again. It never really hit me before."

"Home..." Sebastian murmured.

"Are you alright?" Theron frowned when Sebastian's eyes glazed over.

"I found something out about my family." The archer said as he pulled Theron into an alcove away from prying eyes. "I know who sent the Flint Company after them."

"Who was it?" the elf asked.

"The Harimann family." Sebastian's eyes darkened with anger. "I...I still can't believe it was them."

"You knew them?" Theron felt hot rage boil inside him. Sebastian was in a lot of pain, he could see it in his eyes.

"They were always close friends of the Vael family. Lady Harimann was always ambitious but I never thought she was capable of this." Sebastian admitted. He chewed his lower lip for a moment before speaking again. "I want to go to their estate in Hightown. I want to confront them myself."

"I'll come with you." Sebastian looked stunned when Theron said that so quickly but he couldn't deny the relief he felt.

"I was going to ask Hawke to help me but I'd appreciate it if you were there." The prince smiled gratefully.

"It's no problem." Theron nodded. "I know what it's like when you're betrayed by someone you trust."

"You still do that." Beautiful blue eyes glanced over the elf.

"Do what?" Theron shivered under that gaze. "Make witty comments? Steal Varric's booze? Lick lampposts in winter?"

"Lick what? Oh my..." Sebastian blushed to his ears and Theron could only laugh. He made a note to thank Alistair for that one. "I meant that you always look burdened, like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"Grey Wardens usually do." Theron joked weakly. "Don't worry about me Sebastian."

"There's nothing wrong with worrying about a friend." The prince answered. "I like to think that you can talk to me with whatever is on your mind."

"Thanks..." Theron murmured as he turned his eye away from Sebastian.

The truth was he wanted to tell the prince everything. He wanted to tell him about the thing tormenting him in his dreams and how it could take Alistair's shape. He wanted to tell Sebastian that being around him made Theron feel better and more attached to the world around him. He hadn't felt like this in a long time but being around Sebastian was exciting and yet so very terrifying.

Theron hated that he felt like this especially for a man who was blindly devoted to the Maker and the Chantry. Even if Sebastian could understand how Theron felt he would never accept the fact that he was possessed by something he hadn't been able to fight against. Hawke, Anders and Orsino were trying everything they could to help him and Theron was grateful to them.

"When do you plan on going to the estate?" Theron broke the silence.

"I was hoping to go there tonight. The sooner I confront them the better." Sebastian replied.

"Good plan." The elf agreed. "I'll meet you here at nightfall."

"Should we tell Hawke?" Sebastian asked. "If something happens the Viscount will want to know and Hawke will find out."

"Hawke has enough problems with the Qunari." Theron ran a hand through his wild red hair. "Besides you're not helpless. We'll be fine."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence." Sebastian smiled warmly. "Then we'll meet back here tonight."

Theron hummed in agreement then left the Chantry. He may not wish to tell Sebastian the truth but for now he couldn't feel guilty about it. Honestly it was worth the lies if it meant feeling this level of peace and warmth whenever he talked to the priest.

It was something Theron wanted to keep.

* * *

_**The Wounded Coast**_

Things were even worse than Garrett had realised.

Upon meeting with the Arishok he learned that the recipe for a lethal toxin had been stolen but the thieves thought they possessed the recipe for the explosive powder. The Arishok wished to avoid needless slaughter among the Kirkwall citizens and he wanted Hawke to find the toxin and the thieves before anything happened. He had taken Varric, Fenris and Isabela with him to the Wounded Coast only to enter a fight with members of the Tal-Vashoth.

Garrett never liked fighting them and not because they were Qunari. They were hated simply for being what they are and not for anything they did. As a mage he could understand that prejudice. But he found a note left behind from a dwarf who his siblings encountered three years ago. The mage tracked a dwarf merchant down to the Wounded Coast but the merchant admitted that an elf took the recipe.

Upon getting back to Kirkwall Aveline and Carver were trying to get people out of a section of Lowtown when a thick green cloud filled the area. Whatever the cloud was it left people incredibly sick but so far there were no casualties. Bethany had arrived to treat the wounded and sick while Garrett went into the infected area to find the culprit. The resulting battle had left a sour taste in his mouth.

The toxin had been used in a fit of desperation by an insane elf who had lost her sister to the Qun. Varric and Isabela had sealed off the barrels containing the toxin and Aveline sent out the order to have them removed immediately. Garrett was afraid something like this would happen. It was only a matter of time before the tension broke and people were killed.

"This will only get worse." Fenris spoke to him as Garrett approached the Qunari compound. "That elf was only the start."

"I know." Garrett sighed heavily. "I don't want this to end in a war."

"You may not have a choice." Fenris murmured but Garrett gave him a small smile.

"Maybe but I can hope, right?" Garrett replied. "Can you come with me? The Arishok is a little more agreeable when you speak his language."

"As you wish." Fenris followed the human mage into the compound.

The meeting with the Arishok went as well as Garrett expected it to be. The large Qunari was troubled by the elf and her intentions to use the toxin but anyone who converted to the Qun was automatically placed under his protection. He was running out if patience and told Garrett that if one more person was harmed under his command then he would act accordingly. The mage could only agree to take the message to the Viscount. As he left the compound Garrett noticed people staring at him, some afraid while others looked angry and confused. He didn't want to admit it but now he could see the tension in the city.

"They're scared, afraid that the Qunari will have more of their loved ones." Fenris muttered to the mage. "Their blind devotion to their faith will tear the city apart."

"You really believe a fight is inevitable?" Garrett asked the elf.

"Look at them..." Fenris motioned his head to the crowd. "More people are converting to the Qun every day. They want the Qunari out of Kirkwall now."

"Maker's balls..." Garrett rubbed his face. "The only thing we can do is talk to the Viscount. Maybe Seamus can help with this."

"Are you sure about that?" Fenris cocked a dark eyebrow. "The boy is more than a little sympathetic to the Qunari."

"And he may be our best chance at getting the situation under control." Garrett pointed out. "We have to try something Fenris."

The elf said nothing but a small smile tugged at his lips. Garrett Hawke was indeed a rare man. Even now he was trying to make both sides happy and while that motion was implausible it was still a good thought. Garrett refused to let a battle break out but Fenris highly doubted he would be successful. There was too much tension and anger in Kirkwall and it was only a matter of time before someone lit the fuse.

As they left the compound neither Hawke nor Fenris noticed a man standing in the shadows, a smile on his lips as he observed the white haired elf. He had to report back to Hadriana about the runaway slave. She would be most pleased with this.

Not only was Fenris here but he was friends with Hawke, a mage with immense power that any magister in Tevinter would kill to have. Both the elf and the mage would make fine pets for Danarius and his friends.

The man quickly left to report back to Hadriana.

No doubt he would be richly rewarded.

* * *

Not the longest chapter, more of a filler really compared to what's coming next.

Cullen will be back soon. I have a lovely little subplot for him and Bethany planned out concerning the Amell mage Cullen knew. Can't say anymore than that but I hope you'll enjoy it.

Next up Sebastian and Theron battle a Desire Demon while Fenris finds out about Hadriana. Will it all end in disaster? You'll find out soon enough. Also a reviewer made a very good point so I shall hold a vote...

Should I write a scenario were Garrett buys Anders a kitten? Let me know, hehe.

As always much love to all my readers and reviewers.


	27. Simple and Clean

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

**Simple and Clean**

_**If you have need of me I'll be here. - Sebastian**_

_**Hightown**_

Theron rubbed his bare arms as he waited outside the Chantry for Sebastian. He wished that he had brought a long sleeved tunic at least but he liked being able to move more freely. It was a cold night because of the coming winter months but Theron was used to cold weather. When he lived among the clan he would move through the forest and when winter set in he would wear thick furs for warmth. He was still adapting to Kirkwall's warm climate despite being here for a few years.

And feeling the cold made him remember his home. The elf perked up when he spotted Sebastian running up the steps, his bow already in his hand. Theron felt his heart flutter when he noticed that it was the bow he bought for him when he came back. Sebastian had decided to just bring Theron with him when he confronted the Harimann family. Hawke was up to his neck with the Qunari problems and Anders was still looking for any books or spells that could help Theron.

Sebastian took the elf through Hightown towards the mansions. They ran past Hawke's estate until they came to a large marble cut mansion surrounded by plants. Theron pulled out his daggers and followed Sebastian into the silent house. Upon entering the place Theron was instantly on alert. There was no sign of life, not a single sound of the staff or the family. Sebastian voiced his concerns but he pressed onwards into the mansion.

The doors on either side of the main hall were locked which left the stairs and the second floor to investigate. Theron stopped and his ears perked up when he heard voices yelling from somewhere nearby. Sebastian placed an arrow against the bow then silently crept along the halls until he reached a large room with barrels of wine.

"What in the Maker's name?" the prince gasped when he spotted a young woman staggering around the wine barrels.

"Who is she?" Theron asked.

"Fiona?" Sebastian asked but the woman didn't seem to notice him,

"Give me more wine you bastard!" she kicked the barrel angrily. "Why won't you listen? Why can't I ever have anything?"

"She can't hear me." Sebastian stared at her. "I've seen people blind drunk before but never like this. Fiona likes having a glass of wine but never like this."

"Leave her for now. Let's find the others." Theron pulled the prince back up the stairs.

"You're right." Sebastian nodded.

They went back up the steps and into another hallway. Theron could hear more voices as he and Sebastian explored the house. The servants were all gone and the layers of dust on the furniture were thick. Theron wrinkled his nose as he pushed open a door leading into a large dining room. He could practically taste the dark magic in the air. Someone had cast a spell, a high level spell that had enthralled the household.

Sebastian stared in shock when he found Fiona's brother as he contemplated pouring molten gold over a female elf servant. The poor girl was lucid and struggling to get away but the other elf gripping her arm wouldn't let her go. Theron stepped forward and tore his hand from her arm.

"Run!" Sebastian stepped aside as the poor girl ran screaming from the room. "What are you thinking? Are you trying to kill her?"

"I want my gold! It's mine!" the boy yelled. Sebastian groaned as he slammed his fist into the boy's face and he fell to the ground out cold.

"His gold?" Theron asked.

"Lord and Lady Harimann control the money flow. He's not allowed any of it unless they say." Sebastian answered.

"There's some serious dark magic being used here Sebastian." Theron told him. "The air...it tastes wrong."

"The air? How can you tell?" Sebastian asked.

"When you spend two years fighting darkspawn and insane mages you pick up on a few things." Theron replied easily. "When the Tower fell to demons the very air around me just felt wrong. Is anyone in the Harimann family magical?"

"I don't think so." Sebastian answered. "If there was magic in the family they never spoke of it."

"A thrall spell of this kind could only be cast by a mage...or a demon." Theron muttered the last part.

"Oh Maker..." the archer gasped. "We have to find Lady Harimann. I think her husband is here also. He came back from business in Starkhaven some weeks ago."

They went through the next door at the other end of the dining hall and stepped out into a narrow corridor. More voices were heard from up ahead and Theron felt his eye widen when he realised that whoever was making those sounds was having a very happy time. When they entered the bedchambers Sebastian's face exploded into a bright red colour when he witnessed an elf girl kneeling before Lord Harimann.

"Lord Harimann!" Sebastian gasped out in shock. "I-I can't believe this."

"Did he always have a thing for elves?" Theron cocked his eyebrow when the man laughed and giggled while asking the girl's brother to join them.

"He's the biggest prude I know. This isn't him." Sebastian waved his hands.

"But maybe it's the part of him he repressed." Theron pulled the blushing man out of the room when Harimann starting yelling for the girl to felicitate him.

"What do you mean?" the archer asked.

"Think about it. You said that Fiona liked having the odd drink but never got that drunk. And her brother was never given gold without his parent's permission." Theron said and Sebastian's eyes widened when he put the pieces together.

"This magic is bringing their desires to the surface." Sebastian finished for him.

"We need to put an end to this." Theron stated.

There was only one place left to check now. They quickly made their way down to the basement of the mansion but were stopped when a familiar group of mercenaries attacked them. Theron recognized the mark of the Flint Company as he drove his daggers into the man's throat. Sebastian fired off his arrows with rapid succession and soon the men lay dead in their own blood.

"Sebastian..." Theron bent down and lifted the bow clasped in the grip of the dead mercenary. He had seen the Starkhaven symbol burnt onto the bow when he started looking through the dead man's pockets for any potions or money.

"Is...Is that my grandfather's bow?" the prince whispered as Theron handed it to him. "Where did you find it?"

"He had it." Theron motioned to the mercenary at his feet.

"I can't believe they had this." Sebastian felt white hot anger burn through his veins. "They had no right to touch this."

"Your grandfather's bow?" Theron almost smiled at that. For a moment he was reminded of Nate and when Theron had found his grandfather's bow in the basement at Vigil's Keep. "It's good that you have it back."

"Thank you." Sebastian choked. Theron nodded then he started looking around the basement for any clues. He didn't have to search long. There was a hole in the brickwork and a tunnel leading underground.

"What's that?" Theron called to the archer.

"I don't know." The archer stood beside the elf. "I've never seen it before."

Theron started walking down the steps into the tunnel. There was a passageway lit up with torches lining the damp walls. Theron stared at the ruins that lay within a large chamber. It was fairly obvious that these ruins had been under the mansion for some time.

The moment they stepped into the chamber a large number of Shades erupted from the shadows. Theron moved fast, his lightning reflexes allowing him to move fluidly between the demons. Sebastian picked them off at a safe vantage point while Theron sliced through the last remaining Shades.

"I never even knew that these ruins were down here." Sebastian looked around the ancient chamber. "What in the Maker's name was buried here?"

"The magic is thick down here." Theron muttered. "Whatever affected the house came from here."

"There's another tunnel down there." Sebastian walked towards the steps leading further down into the darkness. "I hope Lady Harimann is still alive."

"Sebastian..." Theron stopped the man when they walked through the tunnel and into another chamber. "Who's that?"

"Oh Maker..." the archer gasped when he saw a grey haired woman standing at the other end of the chamber. "Lady Harimann?"

"She's not alone." Theron growled when he saw who the lady was talking to.

"I need more power." The grey haired woman demanded while the Desire Demon simply smirked. "I need to put Fiona on the throne."

"You have sacrificed much already. Your children and your husband have already been given up. What more could you possibly offer me?" the demon asked smoothly.

"I will sacrifice whatever it takes." Lady Harimann clenched his fists. "I have waited too long for my chance at the throne. With the Vael family dead this is my chance."

"You killed my family!" Sebastian cried out causing the woman to turn sharply.

"S-Sebastian?" she went pale instantly.

"Ahh, and now I have a new plaything." The demon smiled as she glided towards the prince.

"Stay back demon!" the archer brought up his bow and aimed the arrow at the creature. "You did this. You murdered my family."

"Not I dear boy. I merely brought out the desire that was always there." The demon glanced at Lady Harimann. "She yearns for the throne of Starkhaven."

"My parents trusted you!" Sebastian yelled at her. "Why did you do this?"

"They had what I always wanted." The elderly woman spat out. "They never deserved the throne. It was always meant to be mine!"

"Ahh, so you do have desires." The demon moaned as she glided towards the prince. "Let me see what is in your heart."

"You touch him and I'll shove your horns so far up your ass you'll be licking the tips." Theron's eye flashed as he stood defensively in front of Sebastian. He didn't see how Sebastian turned red at the declaration.

"You..." the demon frowned. "You have no idea what you're dealing with mortal."

"I've taken out dozens of your kind." Theron grinned maliciously. "I'll enjoy taking out another."

"Now why would you do that?" the demon leaned forward. "I can give you what you want. Your very own handsome prince."

"Don't listen to it!" Sebastian cried.

"I was going to offer your friend what he desires most but you...oh, the longing you possess is truly delicious. Your heart was always yearning for another, a prince that could sweep you off your feet." Her black eyes flashed with power as she smirked at Sebastian. "Always so tired of being the hero, always fighting and bringing happiness to others. Why can't you have what you desire most?"

"Shut up." the elf hissed but the demon simply laughed smoothly.

"The nights you spent dreaming of your prince, the touch you crave, the voice that grants you pleasure. Poor little elf, you've fallen in love and didn't even realise it." the demon smirked.

"SHUT UP!" Theron screamed. Before the demon could move Theron lunged forward and embedded his dagger into the creature's chest.

She screamed in agony as blood spurted onto the elf's body while Sebastian lunged forward and punched Lady Harimann in the face. He wanted her alive, he wanted her to know that she failed. Theron was backhanded by the demon but he regained his balance and kicked her in the stomach. She growled in rage just as Sebastian fired a volley of arrows into her chest. Her eyes narrowed as flames danced across the black orbs.

She got ready to cast an ice spell when Theron put an end to her attacks. Getting behind the demon he drove both daggers into her back and cut through her spine. He smirked in satisfaction when he heard the snap and crunch of the bones.

"It's dead. Let's get out of here." Theron didn't look at his companion, right now he was just too angry and ashamed.

"Theron!" the archer called to the elf as he ran out through the tunnel and back into the house.

Sighing heavily Sebastian pulled Lady Harimann up and carried her out of the chamber. Now that the demon was dead he could only hope that the rest of the family was safe. He couldn't believe that his parent's friend had done this. He was no fool to think that ambition and plotting for the throne didn't exist in Starkhaven but that didn't make the reality that much easier to swallow.

By the time he got back to the basement Fiona was there along with her father and brother. Sebastian noticed that Theron was standing far away from him, his face turned towards the shadows around him.

"Your mother...she killed my family Fiona." Sebastian said harshly. "All for a chance at the throne."

"Sebastian...I'm so sorry." Fiona choked out through her tears.

"I-I never thought...I didn't think she was capable of this." Lord Harimann whispered in shock.

"The Desire Demon under your house did this." Theron said sharply. "It's dead now."

"Theron..." Sebastian choked when the red headed elf pushed away from the wall.

"I-I have to go." he took off.

Theron hated when he felt tears fall from his good eye. He felt like such an idiot. When he confronted Desire Demons before they had never tempted him with offers, they never dug into his mind to learn his secrets. The cruellest thing about those demons was that they told the truth. They dangled the truth before your eyes and if your will wasn't strong enough you would take it.

The elf felt like such a fool. He had gotten past his feelings for Alistair, he would always care about the man but he long ago accepted that nothing would happen. But Sebastian was different. Theron spent three years getting to know the priest, talking and laughing with him and even sharing a drink sometimes. He had been content and happy...he had forgotten what that felt like.

"Theron!" the elf felt dizzy and so tired. He wanted to just sleep and forget this day ever happened. "Theron, what's wrong?" that voice was really nice.

Sebastian had gone after the elf and he found him just outside the house slumped against the wall. Theron looked so tired, like the life had been drained from him. He wanted to talk to the former Warden, reassure him that Sebastian didn't think any less of him. The archer grabbed hold of Theron's shoulders to pull him to his feet when red light suddenly shot out from the elf's arms and hit Sebastian in the chest. The archer was knocked backwards against the wall, his head hitting the stones sharply and he slumped to the ground unconscious.

Theron was aware of someone touching him, a touch that made his belly jump and caused his skin to spark and grow warm. He reached out for that warmth and comfort when a surge of energy left him and the touch vanished. Theron tried to call out but he was just so exhausted.

He fell back against the wall and surrendered to the darkness.

* * *

Hey guys, here we are again.

Ok, so I couldn't remember off hand the names of the Harimann family members but I think Fiona was the name of the daughter. If not then please correct me. Your feedback has helped a lot.

Poor Theron, he gets so much abuse doesn't he?

And I have to confess I'm becoming a Sebastian/Theron shipper ;)

The next update will most likely be Tuesday. I have lectures all day tomorrow but I'll start writing the next chapter this evening.

As always all my love to the readers and reviewers.


	28. Tear Out My Heart

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

**Tear Out My Heart**

_**What has magic touched that it hasn't spoiled? - Fenris**_

_**The Wounded Coast**_

Seamus had been more than willing to help once Hawke explained everything about the Qunari and the toxin attack on Lowtown. For years Seamus had been trying to convince his father than the Qunari were not mindless beasts and that they should be a little more tolerant of them. Anders had arrived at the Viscount's Keep and was quickly told what had happened with the Arishok.

The mage had gone pale which Garrett could understand then he asked to speak to Seamus alone. Hawke found that a little strange but Anders hadn't let him down before. Dumar had asked Hawke to further investigate the unrest with the Qunari. With the toxin fiasco sorted out reports of Tal-Vashoth sightings were escalating from the Wounded Coast and Garrett wasted no time in heading out to the area with Fenris, Anders and Varric in tow.

The group made their way out to the beach without any problems but there was no sign of the Qunari rebels so far. Over the years the Tal-Vashoth had fought Hawke or the guard patrols if they came to the beach. Their numbers had been dwindling in recent months but the Viscount wanted to make sure nothing was happening out on the coast. Fenris followed behind the mage he considered the closest thing he had to a friend and his thoughts were a jumbled mess.

He stayed away from Anders, his green eyes narrowing in anger as the blond mage laced his fingers with Hawke, a smile adorning his face. Fenris clenched his fists to quell the simmering rage and he was aware that Varric was watching him with interest. The dwarf never missed anything but he remained silent and for that Fenris was grateful.

The elf had spent the other night listening to Hawke read a story he brought over during the reading lesson. He never said it but Fenris liked it when Hawke was telling a story. His voice would rise and he would become animated and excitable. He had promised to bring over a new book for Fenris during their next lesson and the white haired warrior was surprised at how much he was looking forward to that.

He wondered if he should cancel it and spend the night drinking with Theron. At least the former Warden wouldn't make him feel like this. Fenris felt his blood turn to ice when he heard someone call from above them.

"You there!" a man yelled. Hawke stopped and looked up. "You have stolen property in your possession. I suggest you hand the elf over."

"Slavers." Anders grunted in disgust.

"Fenris belongs to no one." Hawke snarled in outrage. "You won't take him back."

"Then we'll take the slave once we kill you." The hunter snarled.

"I am not a slave!" Fenris gripped his greatsword.

The battle was fast and brutal. The slavers attacked the group while Anders cast a Haste spell on his companions to even the odds. Fenris used his lyrium to take out the first few hunters that were stupid enough to attack him.

Varric took out the mage standing on a cliff top while Hawke charged into the fray using his staff as a weapon rather than his magic. He slammed the slavers away from him using his telekinetic blast while Anders cast his ice spells to freeze anyone near him. Fenris allowed his pent up anger and hatred boil to the surface as he sliced through the men coming after him.

Blood sprayed in all directions, coating Fenris but he didn't even notice nor did he care. Finally the slavers were all dead except a single mage who was trying to scurry away. Fenris reached the man and after slamming his face into the sand repeatedly he got the answers he wanted. Hawke winced when the elf broke the mage's neck without a second thought.

"Hadriana..." Fenris sounded so very angry as he said the name. "I knew they would come after me. They'll never let me be!"

"Who's Hadriana?" Hawke asked as Fenris began to pace around.

"She is Danarius' apprentice, his right hand." The elf snarled. "I want to find her. If she's here then Danarius won't be far behind. We need to go after her now!"

"She won't get away Fenris." Hawke swore to him. "We'll go to the slave pens now."

"Thank you Hawke." Fenris breathed out.

The elf was once again surprised that Hawke would put his own mission on hold to help him find that evil bitch. Fenris led the group to the slave pens the mage had mentioned and they were attacked by a handful of guards. They were no match for the group especially Fenris who stalked up to the mouth of the cave with fierce determination.

"Do you think she trapped the place?" Hawke asked as they neared the cave.

"Most likely. She always was paranoid." Fenris answered without glancing once at his friend. "She should afraid now."

"Alright, everyone stay alert. Varric, you know what to do." Hawke said. Varric was the best person to spot concealed floor traps. "Anders, we may need to make a run for it."

"I brought extra lyrium." The healer replied. "Just give me the word."

"How powerful a mage is she?" Hawke asked.

"Powerful enough." the elf snarled back.

Hawke said nothing else as he followed Fenris into the dark tunnels of the slave pens. Once inside the group noticed the smooth walls and runes carved by ancient dwarves. This section of the underground pens was obviously connected to the Deep Roads at one point but that entrance was most likely sealed up by now. Anders cast Heroic Aura as the group ventured past a chamber were the victim of a blood magic ritual lay dead.

The white haired elf snorted and looked away. Anders took a breath and moved past the dead man and into the tunnel crawling with large spiders. he used Haste and his fire spells but his thoughts were elsewhere. He knew how this confrontation was going to end. Fenris would kill Hadriana without a second thought. Anders held no love for the vile bitch but he hated seeing Fenris so consumed with rage.

The elf still wouldn't try being civil no matter how many times Anders tried to strike up a decent conversation. Hawke was getting along just fine with the elf and that made Anders feel more than a little jealous. He wasn't blind to the look in Fenris' green eyes or the blush he got whenever Hawke would smile at him. He was surprised that Fenris still associated with Hawke now that Justice was part of him.

But there was something about the Ferelden born mage that drew you in. The blond mage cursed when one of the spiders leapt on top of Varric and was now trying to chew his face off. Anders managed to freeze the beast allowing Hawke to drive the blade end of his staff into the frozen monster.

After entering another tunnel and chamber they were attacked by slavers. Fenris' rage only served to fuel his already brutal attacks against his slavers while Hawke used his Force Mage abilities against the large groups. Anders healed his friends as best he could just as Varric fired an arrow into the last slaver nearby.

Fenris didn't even bother to stop and catch his breath as he stormed into a large chamber with a single occupant. An elf girl was there, terrified and looking ready to collapse at any moment.

"Are you alright?" Hawke asked her. "The slavers are dead now. You're safe."

"I am?" the girl whispered as she averted her eyes away from Hawke. "B-But they worked for my master."

"What's your name?" Anders asked her gently.

"Oriana." she murmured in response. "Oh, why would Master Hadriana want us dead?"

"Hadriana?" Fenris asked the girl. He actually sounded calm now.

"S-She's gone mad." the elf sobbed. "She hurt papa...why would she do that? She always loved his soup. Why would she do this?"

"Where is Hadriana?" Hawke looked the girl over for any wounds. "We need to find her Oriana."

"I think she's still here." the blond elf said. "She took her guards and left down there." she pointed to a doorway at the other end of the chambers.

"Alright, Varric check out the tunnel." Hawke said as he placed a hand on Oriana's arm. "Listen, you need to get out of here. Fine somewhere safe."

"But I don't have anywhere else to go!" Oriana cried then her large eyes glowed with fragile hope. "A-Are you my master now?"

"No!" Fenris barked but the elf girl didn't back down.

"But I can cook and do laundry. I promise I'll be good." she pleaded with them.

"Get out of this place and go to Kirkwall. Ask for the Hawke Estate and tell my family Garrett sent you." Hawke assured the girl who now looked immensely relieved.

"Thank you! Thank you so much." She took off out of the chamber.

"I didn't know you were in the market for a slave." Fenris turned his darkened eyes upon the mage. Hawke in turn looked angry and more than a little hurt.

"I gave her a job Fenris. I thought you of all people would know how I feel about slavery." Hawke didn't bother waiting for a reply and instead stalked to where Varric was.

Anders felt a little sorry for Fenris when the elf's green eyes widened and he looked a little ashamed for his outburst. The healer sighed when Fenris snarled at him and walked after Hawke but Anders didn't miss the troubled expression etched on the elf's face. Anders murmured another Haste spell when the group finally caught up to Hadriana who was surrounded by her bodyguards. Fenris didn't bother talking to her and instead charged directly at the witch. Varric and Anders took out the group of bodyguards from a distance while Hawke sliced through tem to reach Hadriana. She had encased her body in a bubble of energy that absorbed all manner of attacks but she couldn't hold it for long. Hawke used his magical attacks this time against her while Fenris turned his full attention upon her. His lyrium markings glowed as he charged at the witch with all his strength.

"Ahh!" Hadriana screamed when she was slammed back against the wall.

"Hadriana..." the elf stood over the dazed woman and raised his sword.

"Wait! You do not wish me dead!" she gasped out in obvious pain.

"There is only one person I want dead more than you." Fenris gripped his blade in both hands, his eyes flashing with all the rage he felt for the vile bitch before him.

"You have a sister!" Hadriana cried out. Fenris went still instantly.

"What?" Hawke stood alongside Fenris. The elf had gone quiet but his expression betrayed the disbelief he was feeling.

"She yet lives. Surely that information is worth my life?" Hadriana bargained.

"Tell me what you know." Fenris knelt down, his face level with hers.

"She lives in Tevinter still. She was set free some years ago. Please, you promised to let me go." Hadriana pleaded with him.

"Fenris…" Garrett murmured gently. "This is your call."

"Very well." Fenris didn't look back at his friend. Instead he charged up his lyrium and drove his hand into Hadriana's chest. She looked up at him, her face filled with disbelief and horror then Fenris closed his fist around her heart.

"I'll never get used to that." Varric shuddered.

"Let's get out of here." The elf said harshly as he pushed past Hawke. The mage wasn't about to just let him go without a word.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Garrett asked. He knew it was probably pointless but Fenris needed to get this anger out.

"No I don't want to talk about it!" Fenris yelled back. "Even if I did have this sister it may be a trap. If Hadriana knew about her then Danarius must know."

"Fenris, she's dead." Garrett said firmly. "Please , try to find a little comfort in that."

"You know nothing of how I feel!" he hissed in rage. "Do not presume to tell me how I feel about this. I finally got to crush that bitch's heart and all I can feel is this hatred. What has magic touched that it hasn't spoiled?"

Hawke said nothing, his expression said it all for him and Fenris was suddenly choked up. Garrett had been born with magic, he only ever used his gift to help people. He was the argument to everything Fenris believed to be right. Fenris wanted to blame magic for everything even Garrett but there he was looking more than a little hurt, his bright blue eyes holding nothing but warmth.

"I-I need to go." Fenris rubbed his now aching head.

"Fenris…" Hawke reached out but he stopped, his eyes widened and he gasped in shock.

"Garrett?" Anders was by his side instantly. "Love, what's wrong?"

"It's Justice." He groaned in pain. He stared at Anders with dawning worry in his expression. "Theron's in trouble!"

"Garrett, wait!" Anders called but the man tore open the door nearby and ran out of the chamber. "We need to go after him."

"Right behind you blondie." The dwarf followed after the healer as they chased Hawke through the tunnel.

Fenris stood there, his emotions a maelstrom in his heart as he stared at Hadriana's corpse then back to the door. Seeing him like that and saying Justice's name brought the reality back to Fenris. No matter how he felt about the mage Hawke was still host to a spirit and it was only a matter of time before it corrupted him. There was no such thing as justice in this world.

If there was then this wouldn't have happened to him, he would still be with his sister if she even existed and Hawke…maybe if he knew Hawke before this hatred festered in his soul.

Maybe if Anders didn't exist and Hawke wasn't born a mage…maybe then Fenris could have been happy. Fenris was angry when hot tears escaped him. He brushed them away then followed after the others.

There was little else he could do now.

* * *

Oh Fenris, I hate putting you through the emotional wringer.

Coming up Theron and Sebastian are in trouble while Justice makes another appearance.

And like always lovely readers peace and love to you all.


	29. Only In My Dreams

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

**Only In My Dreams**

_**I just wanted you to like me for me. - Alistair**_

_**The Graveyard**_

Sebastian felt cold.

Blue eyes blinked a few times but he managed to open them fully and his vision began to clear up. The archer planted his hands on the cold dirt and pushed his aching body up. Sebastian breathed harshly as the cold seeped across his skin and he shivered violently. The priest looked around when he could see properly again and he was greeted to the sight of a graveyard. His throat instantly dried and he scrambled to his feet to look around for Theron. He remembered talking to the elf when he ran out of the mansion.

There had been a flash of light and blistering heat then Sebastian felt his body being pulled and stretched. He needed to see if Theron was here...wherever here was. Sebastian staggered past the headstones but stopped when he saw a large stone door with an elaborate designed carved into the rock. Just looking at it chilled him to the bone and he tore his eyes way from the door.

The graveyard was filled with small stones but the names had been scratched out. He saw two gates that were open but the one to his left had fog seeping out from beyond the iron gate.

The priest stared at the imposing graveyard and wondered what could have made something like this. He thought about being in the Fade but the feel of this place was strange. Just looking at the graves felt wrong and their very presence just offended him. This was not a place of the Maker. There was just something so very wrong here and the sooner he left he better. He prayed to the Maker that Theron was alright.

Sebastian looked around for a weapon, for something he could use to defend himself with but there was nothing he could use. Gulping down his fear the priest went to move past the fog but stopped when he heard voices coming from the fog. Sebastian strained to make out the voices and he felt his heart jump when he heard Theron yelling. Relief filled his heart as he dashed through the gates towards the source of the voices.

He needed to find Theron and get away from this place. He stepped through the gates and onto a grassy hilltop overlooking a vast wasteland. The sky was blood red in colour and lightning forked across the terrible sky. Sebastian gulped heavily as he walked across the hill and stopped when he saw two figures just up ahead. The fog was thick here but it rested just above his ankles giving him a clear view of what was happening.

Sebastian felt his heart seize up when he saw Theron trying to back away from another man who was advancing towards the elf. Sebastian had never seen that look on Theron's face before. He looked terrified and then grief became visible on his features. Seeing him like this didn't make sense, it wasn't right. Theron didn't back away from any enemy he faced in battle. He had always been fearless and more than ready for a fight.

Sebastian gritted his teeth and ran across the hill to reach his friend. Whatever this place was he wasn't going to just leave the elf here. The archer stopped when he got close enough for Theron to finally see him. The single eye widened in horror as he stumbled away from the other man.

"Sebastian, get out of here!" he yelled at him.

"Now you're just being rude Theron." The other man laughed as he turned and glanced at the prince. "I've been dying to meet this man you're so fond of."

"Don't listen to him." Theron pleaded while the other man narrowed his eyes. The man was tall with chestnut brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing armour with a emblem of the Grey Wardens. Sebastian had seen pictures of it while living in Starkhaven.

"Who are you?" Sebastian clenched his fists.

"Theron won't give me a name. Maybe you can name me." The man smiled, a smile that chilled Sebastian even more than the fog ever could. "But you can call me Alistair. It will do for now."

"You're not Alistair." Theron shook his head, his red hair clinging to his face and neck. "Stop looking like him!"

"What's going on? Where are we?" Sebastian demanded.

"This place is Theron's soul. That is the simplest way I can explain it to you." the thing, Alistair, replied. "And you have been pulled in. He really wanted to here."

"I don't want him here." Theron ran past Alistair and grabbed Sebastian's arm. "We need to leave now!"

"Why don't you just give up Theron? Just stay here and rest like you truly want." Alistair crossed his arms. "We both know you've never felt right since your resurrection. You don't belong here anymore."

"No!" the elf was gripping his daggers now and holding them out. "This is my soul, my body! You're a blighted parasite!"

"Theron, what is going on?" Sebastian yelled in frustration.

"I...I..." Theron looked at the archer, his eye filled with nothing but pain. "Forgive me Sebastian...I'm so sorry."

"He doesn't know?" Alistair looked gleeful. "You've got little choice now. Then you better tell the devour priest before about your little issue."

"I never wanted to tell you." Theron whispered as he dropped his arms, defeated. "You were the only person to not look at me differently. You never judged me. I-I wanted to keep that feeling of peace."

"Theron, what are you saying?" Sebastian asked slowly. For some reason his stomach had tied itself into knots.

"I died Sebastian." Theron cried sharply. "I was killed fighting the blighted Mother in Ferelden. But Justice...he brought me back."

"Oh Maker," Sebastian took a step back and Theron could feel his heart breaking. This wasn't supposed to happen. He didn't know what he would do without Sebastian's friendship.

"I came back but something was with me." the elf stared at the shocked prince. "That thing took up residence in my soul. When Justice brought me back I was possessed by him."

"Not exactly." Alistair sighed. He walked towards the desolate looking elf, his long fingers gently pushing up his chin so Theron would look at him. "You're so stubborn. Even after so long you're still fighting me."

"Stay back demon!" Sebastian backed away from them but he tripped ion a stone and fell to the ground.

"I am no demon." Alistair snarled in rage. "You'd best remember that boy. Demons are the embodiment of mortal weakness. Rage, desire, sloth, pride, all these things create demons." Alistair walked up to Sebastian who was now frozen in place, his blue eyes wide. "I am something much, much older."

"Leave him alone!" Theron ran forward and shoved Alistair to the ground.

"Getting feisty?" Alistair laughed as Theron punched him across the jaw. Alistair grabbed him by the throat and easily tossed him off.

"Gah!" Theron cried when he landed hard on the ground.

"Don't even try to fight me." Alistair growled. He walked towards the elf who was trying to get up. "You just don't have the strength anymore."

"But I do!"

Alistair whirled round and was blasted back across the hill when blue light slammed into his body. He was thrown across the hill and landed hard against a thick tree. Theron scrambled to his feet and stared in shock at Hawke...but it wasn't Hawke anymore. Blue light made his eyes glow and his voice resonated with ancient power.

Justice stared down at Theron, his face taking on a pained expression even though he didn't say a word. Sebastian was struck speechless when justice arrived and Alistair was getting back on his feet, rage evident in his face.

"Justice!" he snarled, his eyes now blazing red with fury.

"Leave them alone." Justice narrowed his own eyes as he gripped the staff Hawke always used in battle.

"You know better than anyone that I can't." Alistair grinned maliciously. "This is my playground now."

"This is Theron's soul. You're nothing but an intruder." Justice stood in front of the elf in a show of protection.

"And whose fault is that?" Alistair laughed. "You brought him back Justice. You gave me the window I've been waiting for. Everything that happens is because of you."

"I know that." Justice answered, his eyes downcast. "And I will do whatever it takes to fix my mistake."

"Oh but you're not entirely to blame." Alistair walked slowly towards the spirit. "The mage Anders played quite the part in my return."

"What are you talking about?" Theron interjected. Granted he barely talked to Anders most days but the mage seemed like a good man and Theron had never met him before he came to Kirkwall.

"You know don't you Justice?" Alistair clenched his fists as red energy gathered around him. "It doesn't matter anymore. You're going to die here."

Sebastian had watched the exchange, his eyes going back and forth between Alistair and Hawke or the thing living inside Hawke now. The priest was trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, his thoughts were jumbled together and all he wanted to know was why this was happening.

Theron's face betrayed what he was feeling. His anger and grief was so visible and Sebastian could only swallow when the elf turned that look upon the red eyed menace. Sebastian wanted answers but Justice was right about one thing, he needed to get out of this place along with Theron. The archer took a breath then ran towards the elf and grasped his arm causing that wine eye to look at him in shock.

"This is your soul right?" Sebastian demanded and Theron only nodded in response. "Then you control what happens here. You can beat him!"

"I-I can't!" Theron cried.

"You stopped the Blight! You destroyed the archdemon and lived to tell the story. This is nothing!" Sebastian yelled at him.

"You're wasting your breath." Alistair blasted the energy at Justice who in turn sent his blue light flying towards his opponent. They were both knocked off their feet by the attacks.

"Theron, we have to get out of here." Sebastian pleaded with him.

"There's another gate." the gasped out as he doubled over in pain.

"I can't keep fighting him. The more damage I do the weaker Theron becomes." Justice explained.

"Gah!" Theron cried out as he clutched his stomach. "The gate...it's in the graveyard!"

"Run!" Justice threw up his hand and a blue barrier appeared around the trio. "Get to the gate now!"

Sebastian took hold of Theron's arm and they ran across the hilltop while Justice kept Alistair busy. The world around them began to shake as lightning forked across the sky violently. Theron fell to his knees in pain causing Sebastian to place an arm around his shoulders and pull the elf out of there. Justice used his power to send a wave that slammed into Alistair and stunned him giving the group enough time to enter the graveyard again.

"There!" Justice pointed to the gate on the other side of the yard.

"The moment we get out of here I want answer." Sebastian gritted his teeth. First Theron pulled him into this place and then Justice arrived to save them. Sebastian was running purely on instinct. But he was going to get his answers once they got out of this Maker forsaken place.

"I promise I'll explain everything." Justice answered. His blue eyes glowed brightly as he ran towards the open gate while the world continued to shake around them. "You deserve to know the truth."

Sebastian managed to pull Theron through the gates but stopped when they were blinded by a harsh light. The priest tried to keep a grip on Theron but the elf was pulled away from him. Sebastian prayed that the elf was safe. Despite everything that had happened he didn't want Theron to get hurt.

He never wanted Theron to feel bad or alone. He wanted to protect the elf. Theron had been through so much in his life. The scars on his face proved that and he told Sebastian of his life before he became a Warden. Why didn't Theron tell him about this? Sebastian wanted to know the reasons.

His blue eyes stung against the harsh light and then he felt body body hit something hard and darkness consumed him.

* * *

Not a long chapter this one but Sebastian will want answers now and Theron has little choice.

Updates will be a few days between I think. Between getting my essays done for this semester and working on the radio station for the college I attend I'll be busy until the end of the month at least.

But coming up next Sebastian and Theron have that long overdue discussion while his merging with Justice begins to affect Hawke in a way Anders never saw coming. Enough of a teaser?

All my love to you fantastic readers and reviewers.


	30. The Meaning of Family

**Chapter Thirty**

**The Meaning of Family**

Night had fallen across the city by the time Anders and Fenris had taken their companions back to the Hawke estate. It hadn't been easy to find the former Warden but even now neither Hawke nor Theron was waking up. Anders had watched as Justice took control of Garrett instantly and pulled both of them into the Fade to find Theron.

The moment Garrett became aware of Theron's situation he had left the ruins behind and started running back to the Wounded Coast but Anders was helpless to watch as Garrett allowed Justice to take control and the spirit didn't bother to explain what he was going to do.

Instead he vanished in a flash of blue light leaving Fenris, Anders and Varric to find their way back to Kirkwall. Anders didn't stop running until he got back to the chained city and ran towards Hightown. If Theron was in trouble he went to the Chantry to see Sebastian. Varric and Fenris went their separate ways to try and locate Theron while Anders ran into the Chantry.

The mage asked the first few priests he could find where Sebastian was but none of them was of any help. The one time Anders needed him around and the priest had vanished. Cursing the healer left the Chantry and started making his way to the estates where Hawke's family lived. Theron would sometimes stop by to see Bodahn and Sandal. The city was already becoming quiet as darkness descended.

Anders felt panic beginning to grip his heart. Was Garrett all right? What did Justice do to him? How could he tell Theron was in trouble? Anders stopped when he saw a faint blue light glowing from the other side of the district. His heart seized with fear as he ran towards the glow. The mage stopped when he found the source of the light and his eyes widened in shock. He heard Varric and Fenris running up behind him but he didn't pay attention to what they were saying.

Theron was slumped against the wall, his body encased in red energy causing him to shudder and groan in pain. Sebastian was lying on his side; his head was bloody while a faint blue glow covered his prone form.

Anders stared at Hawke who was standing upright between them, his hands held out and blue energy flowing from his body. Anders could practically taste the magical energy in the air as Hawke tried to pull the rd glow from Theron who was beginning to spasm violently causing his head to slam against the wall.

Anders finally found the strength to move and he grabbed hold of Sebastian to pull him away from the growing magic while Fenris immediately tried to pull Hawke away. The elf was instantly slammed back against the wall on the other side of the district while Varric tossed a potion to the white haired warrior.

"Ahh!" Sebastian suddenly jolted awake as the blue light faded from his body. "T-Theron? Where is he?"

"Stay here." Anders demanded as the priest coughed and choked. Varric and Fenris stood where they were while Hawke continued to pour his magical energy into the thrashing elf.

"Any helpful suggestions elf?" Varric asked Fenris.

"I have never seen this type of magic before." the white haired elf replied although he did sound worried.

"There something inside Theron." Sebastian had staggered to his feet. "It's a demon. That thing attacked us."

"That explains why Hawke went a little funny back there." Varric kept his finger on the trigger. "Justice knew there was trouble."

"Justice?" Sebastian whispered. He grunted in obvious pain then collapsed on his knees.

"You shouldn't be moving." Fenris ordered sharply. "Let Hawke handle this."

"Theron needs me!" Sebastian tried to get up but pain tore through his body again. "Ahh!"

"Listen..." Fenris grabbed his arm. "If anyone can help Theron then it'll be Hawke."

"Garrett!" Anders cried out. "Stop it! Please snap out of it!"

The healer tried to move forward but Theron suddenly lurched forward and screamed. His body jolted violently while red energy started to pulsate while Hawke stepped forward and grabbed the elf's arms.

Before he could do anything Anders felt a surge of magic power and Anders was knocked off his feet by the force of the blast. Fenris and Varric pulled Sebastian away while Theron stopped moving and went still against the wall. Anders quickly cast his most effective healing spells when Hawke collapsed alongside Theron.

"Anders..." the mage felt his blood freeze when Justice's voice came from Hawke. Garrett's face was sickly pale and blood trickled from his nose. "Theron is running out of time."

"What did you do Justice?" Anders cried as he wiped the blood from Hawke's face.

"The demon within him..." Justice gripped his stomach as he choked up blood. "It's stronger than I thought."

"Oh Maker!" Anders tried to heal Garrett but the possessed man reached up and gripped the healer's wrist.

"Listen to me." the spirit demanded. "If we can't defeat the demon Theron will be lost. I don't know if I can fight it again."

"We'll talk to Orsino tomorrow." Anders promised as Justice's blue light faded from Garrett's eyes and the mage was back in control.

"A-Anders?" Garrett whispered as he slumped heavily against his lover. "What...what's going on?"

"Don't you remember?" Anders whispered as he tightened his grip on the ashen blond. "Theron was in trouble. You went to help him."

"My head hurts...I can't think." Garrett gasped out. His nose was bleeding again and he was beginning to shake. Anders needed to get him home now.

"Garrett..." Anders murmured as he swallowed thickly. "Let's get you home."

"What about Theron?" Varric asked once Anders helped Garrett onto his feet. Fenris remained apprehensive, his green eyes giving away nothing.

"I'll see to him." Sebastian spoke up. He was already helping the red headed elf to his feet while Varric looked a little unsure.

"You can't tell the Chantry about him!" Anders pleaded with the priest. Sebastian said nothing but he tightened his grip on the elf. "Sebastian, this isn't his fault. We can help him."

"Choir boy..." Varric said gently, his tone serious. "Theron's been through enough shit in his life. Right now he needs friends. If you're going to hand him over to the Chantry then you might as well leave him here because..." the dwarf glanced back at Anders and Hawke. "They won't let you take him."

"He's possessed." Fenris folded his arms, anger clearly evident in his voice. "He might not even be Theron is he wakes up. Are you willing to take that chance?"

"He's still our friend Fenris." Anders scowled at the warrior. "We can't abandon him. He needs our help. Garrett wouldn't give up on any of us."

It was the truth and Fenris knew it. Garrett would never give up on his friends if they were in trouble. He went out of his way to make their lives a little more bearable. Since the confrontation in the Deep Roads years ago Garrett had been trying to find a way to free Theron from the spirit within him.

Fenris could only bite his lip as he looked away from the mage. He hated when Anders was right especially about Garrett. He was broken from his thoughts as Sebastian began to lead the elf away from the others.

"I'll take him home. We...we need to talk." the priest glared at the others. "You all owe me an explanation."

"I'm going to get Garrett home." Anders said as Varric helped him with the unconscious mage. "Fenris, where are you going?"

"Keep out of this mage." Fenris scowled as he followed after Sebastian and Theron.

"Should we be worried?" Varric asked.

"Let's just get Garrett home."

Varric looked worried but he helped Anders get the mage back to his home. When Bethany opened the door she instantly went pale and called for Leandra. Anders had to explain as best he could what had happened to Garrett but he left out a few details. The last thing he wanted was for Hawke's family to worry. Garrett hated being coddled over and confined if he was in trouble. Leandra didn't press the issue but Bethany kept her gaze fixed on Anders.

She wasn't blind to Theron and his problems. Thankfully Carver was at the barracks on his night shift and Anders managed to get Garrett to bed without any trouble. Anders took off the armour as best he could and pulled the blankets around the slumbering mage.

Anders took a moment to look over his lover and the worry only squeezed his heart more. Garrett was so pale and his breathing was a little harsh. Justice must have taken a terrible beating from the thing living inside Theron if Garrett was in this condition. Not wasting any time Anders quickly grabbed some herbs from the table nearby. Even though he used his magic to heal he liked to keep a supply of medicines handy in case he was too tired to regenerate his mana naturally.

He placed the herbs against Garrett's sweat slicked skin and gently rubbed them until they were absorbed completely. Garrett finally settled down after an hour of Anders administrating the treatment and the healer now sat on the bed and gently stroked Garrett's damp hair.

"Anders?" Bethany entered the room quietly. "How is he?"

"Sleeping, thank the Maker." Anders rubbed his face tiredly. He was so exhausted with worry and healing that he didn't hear Bethany approach him until he felt a hand on his back.

"You look terrible. Get some sleep Anders." She pleaded gently with him. "I'll watch Garrett."

"But it's my fault he's like this." Anders whispered before he could stop. Justice had never been this bad with him as far as reactions went. He and Justice had both wanted the merging to happen. Anders felt tears sting his eyes. He still kept hurting Garrett no matter what decisions he made.

"This is not your fault." Bethany said sternly. "I know how much you love my big brother and he's so lucky to have that kind of devotion. Anders, please get some rest. Garrett wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

"You really know how to play the guilt card." The healer smiled sadly while Bethany squeezed his shoulder.

"How's Theron?" the blond man asked. He hoped the former Warden was alright especially after the confrontation with Justice. More than that he hoped that Sebastian wouldn't sell him out.

"Sebastian didn't say much." The dark haired woman frowned. "But he wanted us to know that Theron is resting."

"He's been through so much shit." Anders winced as his headache began to worsen. "I have to convince Orsino to help us."

"You're right and I'll help you." Bethany put up her hand when Anders was about to say something. "My brother means the world to me Anders and Theron is a good man. I'm not going to sit around and wait, not when I can do something for them."

"Thank you..." Anders murmured as he reached up and squeezed her hand. "Maker, I'm so tired."

Bethany gently pushed the mage onto the bed so he lay curled next to her brother. Within moments Anders was sound asleep and Bethany left them room quietly. She took a breath before heading downstairs to see mother and Carver about Garrett's condition.

Carver had been worried sick about his brother since he got home from the barracks. In the last hour people had reported seeing bright blue light in Hightown and Aveline had been left with little choice but to send the guards out to investigate. Bethany spotted her brother at the fireplace talking with mother.

"How is he?" Leandra approached her daughter once Bethany made it down the stairs.

"They're both asleep, thank the Maker. Anders and I are going to see Orsino tomorrow." Bethany replied while Carver looked troubled. "What's wrong Carver?"

"We can't keep this up forever Beth." Carver sighed heavily. "Aveline sent us to check up on reports of blue light seen in the city. Word is already spreading that the templars are starting their own investigation."

"But the Viscount has been lenient with us." Leandra stood before her two children. "Surely Garrett won't be taken by the guards for something they can't yet prove."

"Even if the Viscount can help I'm not going to wait." Bethany was resilient. "It's not just Garrett who needs our help."

"But we can't exactly force the First Enchanter to help us." Carver ran a hand through his short hair. "Look, let's just get some sleep before trying anything. If Garrett is back on his feet tomorrow we'll talk to him then decide what to do."

Leandra looked unsure but she eventually made her way upstairs to see Garrett before settling in for the night. Carver smiled reassuringly at his twin although it didn't quite reach his eyes. Bethany didn't need to say what he was feeling. They were all worried sick about Garrett. This wasn't the first time Justice caused him problems.

Sometimes Bethany would hear her brother screaming in the middle of the night but come the morning he had forgotten what had scared him so much. It was only a matter of time before the templars started coming to their door in full force and not even the Viscount could hold them off forever.

Bethany started to walk towards her own room. Hopefully she'd be able to think better after some rest. No matter what it took Bethany was determined to protect her big brother even if it meant going against the templars.

* * *

I'm back!

I'm so sorry for the prolonged hiatus but when my second semester was finished I went to Florida for the summer and I lost my muse for writing when I got back. But recently I played the Legacy DLC and I've started playing DA2 from the start again. My muse is back from the dead

Also later in the story I want to incorporate the Legacy DLC because I thought the story told was beautiful and truly heartbreaking. If you haven't played it yet then I really recommend it. Coming up next we're back with Theron and Sebastian.

See you all soon my dear readers.


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